Who makes the call on team choice?

[snuffleupagus]

Just curious on how other families handle the softball silly season now that tryouts are here. I want to hear opinions on whether it’s the player or parent or both and why. Thanks for your time.

 

[daboss]

The game is for the kids. It's about the kids. You have to include them in making a final decision as to which team to choose.

One of the biggest mistakes are parents trying to influence their girls to overachieve before they actually have the hunger to go over and above. Don't let the sugarplums dance in your heads while the young lady in question tries to sort out and set her own personal goals. They are her goals. As in any facet of growing up, it's more beneficial for the kids to pace themselves in a realistic manner. Let them discover how quick a pace to have. Be supportive, offer tools, share advice when appropriate, and be ready to pick up the pieces in an encouraging way if the moon and stars fail to align in the journey. Not everyone can play at an Olympic level. Exceptional players will decide to quit. Great players will go overlooked. Some will find out being the star of the community Rec team satisfies their thirst for the game. Families may realize they simply can't do the impossible and live with it. Unfortunately, many of us have as many regrets as much as they can thank their lucky stars for the opportunity. It's life as we know it.

This journey is the kids turn. Don't lose sight of it.

Just my opinion............

 

[LineDrive1434]

To me it depends on the age. I don't think a 12 year old has the mental capacity to consider all the factors besides the name on the front of the jersey and how many friends or people she has on the team. At 12 and under it should be all about the fun, learning the game and getting the proper coaching and instruction so one day when it is something they should be deciding they are in a position to do so. Parents with the help of proper coaches can decide fees, tournaments, travel, level of competition, how long the season should be, other sports, other requirements such as siblings etc. etc. etc. Kids just want to play. By 14 however the kid should hear all the facets that go into making a decision and be prepared to have a strong opinion because by then if they don't "buy into" the team she will be on....it could blow up in everyone's face.

They can more readily absorb and understand the nuances of making these types of decisions and how they can affect their future in the sport including school ball and perhaps (if good enough) beyond high school

 

[SMc4SMc]

I am overly simple too often and parallel or box things as they fit then sort better later, if possible.
Lately, I'm seeing this stuff like driving- driver's ed / temps to license, and I'm concerned as heck in the front passenger seat, the back seat, or when I'm not physically there.

So, I let them earn it then they take the helm.

* A bunch kids have been driving since 14, aannddd, they didn't have to sneak the car.

Yeah, parents still pay for it !! *

 

[IRdad09]

To daboss's point. It has to be about the kids. If it is the parent pushing the child or making all the decisions for them it will never work and that child will eventually quit whatever they are doing. To this point though every kid is different. We just went through this scenario. My 10yr old DD who will play again at 10u next year expressed how she wanted to play with better kids more like her and play in bigger and better tournaments. As a parent I could tell she was bored at points this year playing in local travel tournaments around NEO. She shined at the World Series last weekend. Seeing other girls with the same passion for the game she had only reaffirmed we made the right decision as a family. Is traveling over an hour each way to practice starting soon kind of insane yes. However, at this point it is my DD's desire to be the best and play with the best. So as a parent I feel it is our job to help reach their goals and dreams regardless of age.
Again this is just my opinion and with recent experience here I thought to chime in......

 

[chucklesp]

Seeing other girls with the same passion for the game she had only reaffirmed we made the right decision as a family. Is traveling over an hour each way to practice starting soon kind of insane yes. However, at this point it is my DD's desire to be the best and play with the best. So as a parent I feel it is our job to help reach their goals and dreams regardless of age.

Well said and agree with your post, but I think you will find that an hour drive to practice is not entirely unusual. The better she gets the better the team she will want and sometimes that can take a LOT of driving. The past few years we have heard anywhere from 1 to 6 hours driving for practice. They tend to make it one day a week and 4 hours at that. So go out and buy a realllly nice SUV!!! One you can take naps in.......

 

[StarzzDad]

This past season, we drove 7 hours round trip for a 4 hour practice, especially in the fall. You can't "make" your daughter do that...she has to WANT to!

 

[snuffleupagus]

All good points made and thanks for the replies. There are many things to consider by the family to make sure the team chosen is the right fit.