make her pitch and leave her in till the cows come home.Shared by Anonymous.
How does everyone deal with “bullying” on a team? Another member of the team has been throwing nasty, underhanded comments at my daughter ever Chance she gets. As a parent I don’t want to make waves, but I’m not going to let my daughter be harassed. Any advice?
I have read the posts shared and have mixed feelings. Mixed feelings because the answers mirror what I have witnessed in the past and all have had mixed results. I can't agree with any of them in their entirety and admit I can't formulate a perfect solution. Perhaps the reason is there is no perfect solution. In itself, this is disturbing.
The one thing that always upset me the most was when a coaching staff would choose to ignore the problem as the solution. How can anyone think this is healthy? Waiting it out in hopes the season will soon be over is not an answer. "Just stay away from her" is not an answer. "Since you two can't seem to get along I'm going to join you both at the hip to do everything together for the rest of the season" is not an answer. All the shared responses are answers for the coaches dealing with a problem but it doesn't solve the true problem. I understand the appearance is the problem goes away and things are better but the reality is it's much deeper than most can see. To be honest, it probably is not in the wheelhouse of most coaches. They didn't sign on to be personal therapists and counselors but to be a top line coach you need to master those skills. Most amateur coaches are not trained or willing to get this type of training. It's what sets a great coach apart from all the others.
Analyzing personalities and understanding the individuals can consume all the time a coach has to determine the best and the proper course of action. Most travel coaches simply don't have that kind of time to give. It falls back into the laps of the parents to take care of the problem. Unfortunately, this can, at times, require the coaches to put referee shirts on to deal with things. Wrong uniform for a coach. They don't want this job. If they wanted to deal with conflict they would have become umpires................
College and school coaches have more time with the kids so it makes sense they should have more training and a skill-set on handling such issues. I had to say it. It doesn't seem to work this way but I had to say it.
If we can agree these problems should not be in the job description of a travel or Rec coach due to time restraints, we can only advise the families to work it out away from the team so it no longer affects team chemistry. If this means a weaker family leaves you have to accept the outcome. If this means the bully is creating issues with the team you deal with the bully. If that means removing them you have to accept the outcome. If a bully is simply an isolated issue with only 1 other player, go back to the top of this list and start over. If it splits the team and you cannot complete the season due to your choices of how to handle things, know it was your fault for listening to me.........
Go get life coach training or recruit an adult to be a full time mediator to buffer issues before they get to the coach. It's not going to happen but I had to say it...............
I have personally dealt with this on multiple teams. Especially football teams and girls basketball teams. Making them work together on an athletic level creates a reason to communicate. Communication leads to respect and respect leads to support. They typically don't know the other player well enough to create enough hate to where they cannot fix the issue. If there are other issues that comes out during the meeting. If you cannot read your players and see issues brewing you should not be coaching to begin with. You can tell by the way your players interact when they are in a dugout. You can see the little clicks developing. You can see everything if you pay attention all the time. Your job as a coach is to anticipate any situation. Establish guidelines and expectations. Never show favoritism and most of all treat your child if a parent coach like the rest. I have coached multiple levels of sports from Basketball, football, baseball, and softball. All of them have unique and different dynamics when it comes to a coaches mental fortitude.I have read the posts shared and have mixed feelings. Mixed feelings because the answers mirror what I have witnessed in the past and all have had mixed results. I can't agree with any of them in their entirety and admit I can't formulate a perfect solution. Perhaps the reason is there is no perfect solution. In itself, this is disturbing.
The one thing that always upset me the most was when a coaching staff would choose to ignore the problem as the solution. How can anyone think this is healthy? Waiting it out in hopes the season will soon be over is not an answer. "Just stay away from her" is not an answer. "Since you two can't seem to get along I'm going to join you both at the hip to do everything together for the rest of the season" is not an answer. All the shared responses are answers for the coaches dealing with a problem but it doesn't solve the true problem. I understand the appearance is the problem goes away and things are better but the reality is it's much deeper than most can see. To be honest, it probably is not in the wheelhouse of most coaches. They didn't sign on to be personal therapists and counselors but to be a top line coach you need to master those skills. Most amateur coaches are not trained or willing to get this type of training. It's what sets a great coach apart from all the others.
Analyzing personalities and understanding the individuals can consume all the time a coach has to determine the best and the proper course of action. Most travel coaches simply don't have that kind of time to give. It falls back into the laps of the parents to take care of the problem. Unfortunately, this can, at times, require the coaches to put referee shirts on to deal with things. Wrong uniform for a coach. They don't want this job. If they wanted to deal with conflict they would have become umpires................
College and school coaches have more time with the kids so it makes sense they should have more training and a skill-set on handling such issues. I had to say it. It doesn't seem to work this way but I had to say it.
If we can agree these problems should not be in the job description of a travel or Rec coach due to time restraints, we can only advise the families to work it out away from the team so it no longer affects team chemistry. If this means a weaker family leaves you have to accept the outcome. If this means the bully is creating issues with the team you deal with the bully. If that means removing them you have to accept the outcome. If a bully is simply an isolated issue with only 1 other player, go back to the top of this list and start over. If it splits the team and you cannot complete the season due to your choices of how to handle things, know it was your fault for listening to me.........
Go get life coach training or recruit an adult to be a full time mediator to buffer issues before they get to the coach. It's not going to happen but I had to say it...............