Be aware not all teams in an organization are the same!!!!

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It is harder in the younger ages because everyone wants their kid to be the star and they were stars in rec so they should be here too. If they aren't starting pitchers, than something is wrong with this coach!! As they get older, they understand that it isn't punishment to be in the outfield and sometimes it is nice to get to rest a game here and there. They are more acclomated to the team philosophy and don't mind taking on a role they wouldn't have dreamed of taking when they were 12.

 

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It is harder in the younger ages because everyone wants their kid to be the star and they were stars in rec so they should be here too. If they aren't starting pitchers, than something is wrong with this coach!! As they get older, they understand that it isn't punishment to be in the outfield and sometimes it is nice to get to rest a game here and there. They are more acclomated to the team philosophy and don't mind taking on a role they wouldn't have dreamed of taking when they were 12.

At what age do they understand! I haven't seen it!

 

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45-50...somewhere around there

 

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I would like to start with it is not right to have a girl on the team if her primary role was to be there "just in case".

Please try to remember that the girl must be a good fit for the team AND the team must be a good fit for the girl.

I am going to lay the blame on the coach and the parent. During the try-out process, before your DD is offered a spot on the team, there should be a discussion between the coach, the parent, and the girl about where the coach sees her skill level, what role the coach sees her playing on the team, and what the girl would need to work on to improve. If you do not like the assessment, then move on to another try-out. If the coach doesn't initiate this talk, then the parent needs to initiate this talk. Most newer coaches will offer the roster spot first then discuss the role, if at all. Typical rookie mistake (at least I would like to think it is a rookie mistake).

Now, if either side doesn't hold up to their side of the discussion during the season, well, that's an entirely different problem.

 

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During the try-out process, before your DD is offered a spot on the team, there should be a discussion between the coach, the parent, and the girl about where the coach sees her skill level, what role the coach sees her playing on the team, and what the girl would need to work on to improve. If you do not like the assessment, then move on to another try-out. If the coach doesn't initiate this talk, then the parent needs to initiate this talk.


Love this! That is some great advise will be using this year at tryouts

 

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I would like to start with it is not right to have a girl on the team if her primary role was to be there "just in case".

Please try to remember that the girl must be a good fit for the team AND the team must be a good fit for the girl.

I am going to lay the blame on the coach and the parent. During the try-out process, before your DD is offered a spot on the team, there should be a discussion between the coach, the parent, and the girl about where the coach sees her skill level, what role the coach sees her playing on the team, and what the girl would need to work on to improve. If you do not like the assessment, then move on to another try-out. If the coach doesn't initiate this talk, then the parent needs to initiate this talk. Most newer coaches will offer the roster spot first then discuss the role, if at all. Typical rookie mistake (at least I would like to think it is a rookie mistake).

Now, if either side doesn't hold up to their side of the discussion during the season, well, that's an entirely different problem.

Great Idea but to give an assessment from what 30 minutes of looking at a player is tough. You can give them an idea of where they might fit in but the time from August to June is vast and who knows what they will be doing outside of your control to improve or what the other 10 or so girls will be doing. They may be in the top 9 in Sept. and on the bench in June. As Klump and other have said, you need to give 100% all the time and know your role. If you are on the bench do something to get your self off other than whining to the other bench players and their parents.

 

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Great Idea but to give an assessment from what 30 minutes of looking at a player is tough. You can give them an idea of where they might fit in but the time from August to June is vast and who knows what they will be doing outside of your control to improve or what the other 10 or so girls will be doing. They may be in the top 9 in Sept. and on the bench in June. As Klump and other have said, you need to give 100% all the time and know your role. If you are on the bench do something to get your self off other than whining to the other bench players and their parents.

agreed

 

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you should take who got u there!!!!!!!!!!!!! if u need an extrs girl for last few tournaments or nationals use her for that purpose, u don't sit 3 because u pick up three that u think is better, maybe that coach should have done a better job of coaching or picking at tryouts!!!!!!!!!!! parents put time, money, and a big commitment in this also not just the girls. the coach should be gertting them ready for the next level not benching them for other whom he thinks is better!!!!!!!! HE SOUNDS LIKE AN A**HOLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Plese forgive me, I am going to wander a little from the topic but when I am done, we will be back on topic.

We just got back from a college visit to Vanderbilt. Strictly an academic visit since Vanderbilt doesn't have a softball team.

The Admissions Director talked for about 30 minutes about their selection process. He was a good speaker and he made this statement to the parents as nicely as he could,

"Your kid might not get accepted. This doesn't mean that she/he is a bad kid or a bad student, just that she/he is not what we are looking for to be a Vanderbilt student."

Wow. Very short and to the point. But, very honest. He went on to explain that the decision is based on an overall picture of the student. Not just grades, accolades, or accomplishments but the overall kid. Will the kid be able to adjust to the academic regiment that the college has? There are other colleges out there with the same selection process and some of them try to sugar-coat or gloss over the fact that your kid might not "make the cut".

So, let's relate this to softball. Try-outs are the same thing, just a different name. A good coach that has the ability to TEACH and COACH (they are two seperate things) should have the best interests of the kids at heart and help guide them in the girl's softball quest.

It is extremely hard to do this at the "MASS" try-outs. It is very possible at the smaller and private try-outs. Can a coach teach? They should be able to or they are looking for trouble. To borrow and old saying, "Any fool can do the job with the proper tools, it takes a mechanic to do the job without."

 

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"Your kid might not get accepted. This doesn't mean that she/he is a bad kid or a bad student, just that she/he is not what we are looking for to be a Vanderbilt student."

I am stealing this.. what a great way to put it. Thank you.

Sometimes as a coach during the 1 or 2 tryouts you see a kid and you see a player inside her ready to come out- so you make an offer. Most times the kid develops into something close to the player you had hoped, or more - but every once in a while they just don't.

From August tryouts to June game is 10 months - kids change in their physical size, attitude, homelife, etc, etc. After 10 months of practice they should be noticibly better as a player if a coach does their job and they work at home.

But in 10 months, kids can also slip or not progress nearly as much as the other player(s) that they are competing against on the team for PT, especially at the young ages. I do want our younger teams to find room to play every player in pool play (some parents don't know that batting is playing BTW - we roster bat in pp, and should start a kid at least once in pp in the field) - and play to win in bracket play.

Our coaches biggest 'aha' moment this season after last year as a coach is that they need to be patient at tryouts and not add players that 'might' earn a starting spot. I am hoping our teams come out of tryouts with 8-9 good solid girls that can start for them right away - they can pickup girls along the fall season to compliement the team. Rushing to 'fill' a roster only leads to trouble down the road when the team struggles and a solid, starter comes along and you don't have room on your roster for her.

It is never a perfect season, that is why I hope parents come to our coaches early and discuss their concerns. I would rather them leave for a team where they and their DD can be happy, than stay as a 'Hawk and be unhappy and allow it to spread among the other parents. 10's and 12's are loaded with kids and parents fresh out of rec, that takes some adjustment on their part and is also part of the deal .. coaches that survive a few 10/12u seasons make good 14u and up coaches down the road.

 

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Sounds to me like the decision should be yours, if you are not happy with her playing time, then she needs to work harder to get onto the field, or move to a team that she can play on. Coaches are not the only ones that need to be evaluating at tryouts, do some research and be honest about your DD's chances when at a tryout, why put her on a team that everyone knows she doesn't have a chance to play much on and then come on her and rip the coaches. Every team needs extra players for various reasons, it is the players responsibilty to earn her playing time, not the parents or the amount of money spent.

Anyone reading my posts who makes such a response as yours should go back to kindergarden and get an education.

 

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I understand your point and I think the BIGGEST misunderstanding between coach and parent that causes most trouble is playing time. Like you said, get rid of them or play them. But what is your definition of play them? A pinch runner? A DH? Infield? Outfield? In batting line up only? A flex player? ALL these positions and more are very important to the team and if a coach is only allowed to carry the 9 players who start on the dirt so we don't hurt the other players and parents feelings, how are we supposed to play the game. That is the biggest misconception, that if your dd isn't in the starting infield or #4 in the batting line up than they aren't playing. Every girl on the team has her role and every role is important. If you aren't doing your job because you feel slighted, than the whole team suffers for it. Accept your role and play it to the best of your ability. This is a team sport, play for the name on the front of your jersey not the name on the back!

Klump you probably are one of the most intelligent posters on OFC. My main gripe in years of watching softball and other sports is not exacly the playing time each girl gets. It's the favored girls on some teams who play every minute. It does not make ANY difference about their ability. What's worse is the Drama Queens. They make ""spectacular"" ""attempts"" to get the ball, then get hurt when they miss it, a common error in MY BOOK but they get the injured warrior cheers and return to the game. All the while there's a kid on the bench who can do a better job.

 

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Right on the money Julie:yahoo: Tell me though, how hard is it to tell a player and their family they are a role player and what that role is?

Whether it is difficult or not do you not feel you should? You've got ten players on the team who are tough as nails and little Suzy and her expectant parents come to you with their $500. Do you take the money and put her on the bench? You need to tell the parents that she will not play.

 

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I understand your point and I think the BIGGEST misunderstanding between coach and parent that causes most trouble is playing time. Like you said, get rid of them or play them. But what is your definition of play them? A pinch runner? A DH? Infield? Outfield? In batting line up only? A flex player? ALL these positions and more are very important to the team and if a coach is only allowed to carry the 9 players who start on the dirt so we don't hurt the other players and parents feelings, how are we supposed to play the game. That is the biggest misconception, that if your dd isn't in the starting infield or #4 in the batting line up than they aren't playing. Every girl on the team has her role and every role is important. If you aren't doing your job because you feel slighted, than the whole team suffers for it. Accept your role and play it to the best of your ability. This is a team sport, play for the name on the front of your jersey not the name on the back!

In the fourth grade my DD played for a team here. The coaches DD played 2nd base and would literally run from every ball hit at her. He put my DD in center field. It was her job to backup Mercy Mandys mistakes. The next year we took her across the river to play which really tourqed Mike's jaws. We came back the next year because there were 2 Rec teams. My DD was the pitcher on the other team from Mikes. She threw hard but wild. When Mandys turn and bat came she was nowhere to be found. After much yelling and looking she emerged from the porta john saying she was not going to bat. Would it not tick you off to have your DD playing 2nd fiddle like that?

 

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It is harder in the younger ages because everyone wants their kid to be the star and they were stars in rec so they should be here too. If they aren't starting pitchers, than something is wrong with this coach!! As they get older, they understand that it isn't punishment to be in the outfield and sometimes it is nice to get to rest a game here and there. They are more acclomated to the team philosophy and don't mind taking on a role they wouldn't have dreamed of taking when they were 12.

I have noticed in the 2 summers of travel ball that many parents believe their daughters are going straight to the Pac-10 on a full ride scholarship. Most would be lucky to get a tryout as a walk-on at a Div. III. I just hope my DD can play on the North Dorm team against the East dorm team.

 

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I think it's time for this thread to die a quick death. . .been there done that, same thing over and over. . . Let's just wish them good luck and move on to some other topics.

 

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good stuff doug. Right now we have two pick-up players in Moline, one because a family couldn't afford to go and one because another of our players has been hurt and we just didn't think we could go with 11 and have one injured in the first games. I'm not there but it sounds like things are going well as far as bringing along the two players. I give lots of credit to the regular players and their parents for making that work.

 

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Sounds like he Picked up Three New kids ... And Benched his own.

 

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In the fourth grade my DD played for a team here. The coaches DD played 2nd base and would literally run from every ball hit at her. He put my DD in center field. It was her job to backup Mercy Mandys mistakes. The next year we took her across the river to play which really tourqed Mike's jaws. We came back the next year because there were 2 Rec teams. My DD was the pitcher on the other team from Mikes. She threw hard but wild. When Mandys turn and bat came she was nowhere to be found. After much yelling and looking she emerged from the porta john saying she was not going to bat. Would it not tick you off to have your DD playing 2nd fiddle like that?

DADDYball is a B****...

 

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jbennett53

My question to you?
batting Averages? what was your dd, compared to the player's that played over her?
Some team you must have a "certin" averages to play.

Perfect Feilding with no bat's get's you now where!