Just wanted to chime in on the parent vs non-parent coaches. Some parent coaches are excellent and some non-parent coaches are terrible. Really, the parent vs non parent coach issue does not weigh much into our decision. We have been involved with both and there is good and bad with both. I have found, generally speaking that parent coaches care more and invest more into the team.
Parent coaches have more heart and time vested with the team. While it is very difficult to not show some sort of favortism toward your own kid, it can be done. What I look for in a parent coach is that the DD is actually a good player. It helps eliminate the "daddy ball" mentality that the only reason that the dad is coaching is because the kid could not make any other team. If the kid is good, typically, dad knows the game and can teach it and the kid deserves to be on the field.
Non-parent coaches often times have less vested in a team. Often times they are there for the love of the game and are good teachers, but may not have the vesting interest and quality time may be less. There is likely less favortism toward a paticular kid.
Now the above is just based on our experiences only and does not by any means hold true for every team. I have just seen this same experience several times. What we look for in a team is:
Who is the coach?
Does he/she know the game?
What does the team need in a player?
Does my dd fit the need of the team?
Does the coaching style fit my dd's need?
Does my dd learn from this coach?
If most of the above don't fit, then we walk as mentioned above. No team is perfect, no family is perfect and EVERY team has a different chemistry regardless of the badge on the uniform.
Good luck to all choosing a team!
Wow, I am not a parent with a daughter playing. . .at one time both of my daughters played, and I coached the oldest until she was finished. So I am looking at this as a person that has been on both sides of the fence as a coach.
To say that as a "non-parent" coach, we are not as invested, is really painting all of us with a broad stroke of a brush. Yes, I love this game and have coached for 3 years with no children on my team out of my total of 16 years of coaching. But, I do this because I want to share my love of the game with the players. You can ask many players that have played for me in the past and each and everyone has a special place in my heart and I put everything on to the table for these kids. I invest my own money, my free time, and have even jeapordized my marriage because of the amount of time I do give. I am in regulary contact with many of my former players that are playing college ball. They still come to me with questions, ask for advise, and just share their success stories or their failures.
I have no bias towards any player and I look at the entire situation from the perspective of what is best for the team during a specific game/situation. I am about the TEAM and for the team. My goal is to provide as much fundamental skillsets, knowledge of the game, love of the game, and lessons that can be applied to the lives of these girls. I know my fellow coaches that do not have children playing on my team have the exact same mind set. We love these kids and freely give everything we can to them.
We are invested 110% in our team and the players. . .so are we possibly a rare breed. No, I just think that as you say, it's "often times" a case is not the case in a majority of the situations. It's about finding the right fit for your child.
Watch during tournaments (even in between games) how the players/coaches interact. A good coach is able to enjoy the kids and have fun on and off the field. A good coach is able to direct the kids with positive-negative-positive instruction. A good coach will ride their butts when they need it but ensure the player understands the difference between instruction and negativity. A good coach has the TEAM work as a TEAM with no one individual always being the center. A good coach gently guides players into leadership roles. A good coach finds good in every player. And finally, a good coach hurts just as much inside as their team does during any bad time and hold their team together to battle through that bad to find the good.
Here's to all the coaches out there that are striving to do what is right for the TEAM as a whole!
