Be aware not all teams in an organization are the same!!!!

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Wow, I am not a parent with a daughter playing. . .at one time both of my daughters played, and I coached the oldest until she was finished. So I am looking at this as a person that has been on both sides of the fence as a coach.

To say that as a "non-parent" coach, we are not as invested, is really painting all of us with a broad stroke of a brush. Yes, I love this game and have coached for 3 years with no children on my team out of my total of 16 years of coaching. But, I do this because I want to share my love of the game with the players. You can ask many players that have played for me in the past and each and everyone has a special place in my heart and I put everything on to the table for these kids. I invest my own money, my free time, and have even jeapordized my marriage because of the amount of time I do give. I am in regulary contact with many of my former players that are playing college ball. They still come to me with questions, ask for advise, and just share their success stories or their failures.

I have no bias towards any player and I look at the entire situation from the perspective of what is best for the team during a specific game/situation. I am about the TEAM and for the team. My goal is to provide as much fundamental skillsets, knowledge of the game, love of the game, and lessons that can be applied to the lives of these girls. I know my fellow coaches that do not have children playing on my team have the exact same mind set. We love these kids and freely give everything we can to them.

We are invested 110% in our team and the players. . .so are we possibly a rare breed. No, I just think that as you say, it's "often times" a case is not the case in a majority of the situations. It's about finding the right fit for your child.

Watch during tournaments (even in between games) how the players/coaches interact. A good coach is able to enjoy the kids and have fun on and off the field. A good coach is able to direct the kids with positive-negative-positive instruction. A good coach will ride their butts when they need it but ensure the player understands the difference between instruction and negativity. A good coach has the TEAM work as a TEAM with no one individual always being the center. A good coach gently guides players into leadership roles. A good coach finds good in every player. And finally, a good coach hurts just as much inside as their team does during any bad time and hold their team together to battle through that bad to find the good.

Here's to all the coaches out there that are striving to do what is right for the TEAM as a whole!

Agree!! It is your level of knowledge, commitment, and your ability to interact with people, and teach the game that makes you a good coach, not whether or not you have children on the team.

 

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My daughter was one of the three players who rode the bench during the game that was being originally talked about. Our daughter kept a positive attitude about the experince and said at least I can't be blamed for the mistakes that were made (all this wisdom from an 11 year old). She loves the game and we support her 100%. I will admit we as parents were upset at the situation, but I wanted to show her that the way to handle it was through the proper channels. After the game we went to the person who runs the organization, spoke to him about our concerns and went on our way, no yelling, no cussing, no name calling. I don't know that it mattered the coach, the person running the organization or anyone else, but it matters to us that she knows that the best way to handle a situation is with dignity and grace. Our daughter is a great girl who gives her team 200% all the time. She works on her skills DAILY, at home and at the batting cages. She treats it as a job, one she loves and is dedicated to 100%. She's only 11, and she's only going to get better at softball and handling life's difficulties. We as parents are dedicated to supporting our daughter and the team she is on. We will be there to do whatever needs done, so that she and her team can have a positive experience. The parent has to be as involved as the girl, but from a different perspective, who else will still cheer for your daughter when she's just struck out, or missed the ball? Support your daughter, support her team and support her coaches (becasue they are people too;&). That being said, my daughter decided she wanted to see what other teams there were. She tried out for three teams for next season, and all were really great teams with great coaches, and great families. She did end up choosing one that seemed to be a good fit for our family (after all, the family has to be on board, and dedicated to softball and the team as well). I have no doubt that under her new coach she will become even better than she is now.

 

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My daughter was one of the three players who rode the bench during the game that was being originally talked about. Our daughter kept a positive attitude about the experince and said at least I can't be blamed for the mistakes that were made (all this wisdom from an 11 year old). She loves the game and we support her 100%. I will admit we as parents were upset at the situation, but I wanted to show her that the way to handle it was through the proper channels. After the game we went to the person who runs the organization, spoke to him about our concerns and went on our way, no yelling, no cussing, no name calling. I don't know that it mattered the coach, the person running the organization or anyone else, but it matters to us that she knows that the best way to handle a situation is with dignity and grace. Our daughter is a great girl who gives her team 200% all the time. She works on her skills DAILY, at home and at the batting cages. She treats it as a job, one she loves and is dedicated to 100%. She's only 11, and she's only going to get better at softball and handling life's difficulties. We as parents are dedicated to supporting our daughter and the team she is on. We will be there to do whatever needs done, so that she and her team can have a positive experience. The parent has to be as involved as the girl, but from a different perspective, who else will still cheer for your daughter when she's just struck out, or missed the ball? Support your daughter, support her team and support her coaches (becasue they are people too;&). That being said, my daughter decided she wanted to see what other teams there were. She tried out for three teams for next season, and all were really great teams with great coaches, and great families. She did end up choosing one that seemed to be a good fit for our family (after all, the family has to be on board, and dedicated to softball and the team as well). I have no doubt that under her new coach she will become even better than she is now.

Now that's Classy! Love hearing how you handled the situation. Just seems weird that you have already choosen another team when many of the top organizations are just starting tryouts due to the teams/coaches being at some type of Nationals the past weekend.

Best of Luck to your daughter!

 

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OK, here is the bottom line. Being a parent coach or a non-parent coach is irrelevent. The person makes the coach, plain and simple.

 

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Now that's Classy! Love hearing how you handled the situation. Just seems weird that you have already choosen another team when many of the top organizations are just starting tryouts due to the teams/coaches being at some type of Nationals the past weekend.

Best of Luck to your daughter!

What would you do if you were told your DD can't run, hit, pitch or field? And the tone was most unpleasant as well.

 

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What would you do if you were told your DD can't run, hit, pitch or field? And the tone was most unpleasant as well.

I'd definately get them out to practice more. Whether I agree with the assessment or not, there is always room for improvement. Sometimes the only thing you can do is agree to disagree, be the better person, and move on.

 

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never quit in school or sports



The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
-Paul "Bear" Bryant,

I am tired of talking about it. Suffice to say if you knew the story a different tune would you whistle.
P.S. As I recall there were a couple of practices back in the '50s that Mr. Bear probably would have liked to taken back and QUIT early.

 

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My daughter was actually going to try out for about 13 teams. We researched the teams we thought would be a good fit for our family, and made a tryout schedule for her. She had three really good tryouts with teams she really liked, and we felt would be a match for us. She was offered positions with some really good teams. We were lucky that the families of the girls who had been on the teams the year before were there, so we could talk to them about the team, the coaches and the organization. That matched with our research, and the fact that we made it a point to go watch these teams play at tourneys (watching the coaches interact with the kids and parents, the yell factor and so on). We feel like she made the right choice, although she had a really hard time because they were all excellent teams with excellent coaching, we support her choice. We would have taken her to all 13 if need be, but we also told her when she was ready to make the choice, it was hers to make. She made it, we support it and know she is a smart girl with a really good head on her shoulders. We made it her choice because after all she is the one who has to put her heart, soul and skill into the game everyday.


If I was told my daughter could not do any position on the field, I would have to look at her play as objectively as I could. Maybe take her to some tryouts for other teams and see if they felt the same way. I am sure that any coach would be willing to talk to you about what they saw in your daughter if you asked them. If the coach told you that to be mean and it doesn't hold water, I would be looking for a new team with tryouts going on. Not every team can use every girl, and you need a good fit for your daughter and your family. I would let her know that I am still her #1 cheerleader, and I think she is great no matter what anyone else says. Maybe you can spend some time together outside throwing the ball around, and going to the batting cages. Look up some drills you can do with her. Above all be sure she has confidence in herself, because confidence can make all the difference in the world.

 

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I realize this thread is growing a little weary but would like to offer up my assessments, having played myself and been around softball and other sports at different levels.
First, I think bringin upspeedy has a fantastic approach, kudos to you for leading by example.
Second, one thing I have learned through the years is that parents are completely unrealistic about their children's abilities, especially moms. Sometimes I think it's a maternal instinct thing..."Oh no you di'int just disrespect MY baby!" lol
I once watched a pitcher give up homeruns to the number 8 batter and the number one batter in the same inning...not because of errors on the defense, but straight shots over the outfielders heads. When the coach pulled the pitcher, her mom literally had a meltdown and blamed the CF. I watched her kick a fence and throw something carrying on that the coach needed to leave her in to "work it out". What the heck was there to work out???? I once watched a SS make 3 back to back errors at her position that resulted in 3 runs. The coach moved her out of that position...he didn't pull her, he moved her. The next day, his daughter was playing SS. She had an error in the first inning (ended up not hurting) then an error again in the 5th inning. The mom of the SS from the previous day had a fit about how the girl was only not being pulled because she was the coaches kid. I have seen pitchers that for whatever reason are not on that day and are giving up big hits and when the coach pulls them, the first one having a meltdown is the pitchers mom. I can't help but wonder if I am watching the same game as them sometimes. I have heard the same moms say "I am harder on my kids than anyone!" Being hard on your kid doesn't mean you are realistic about their abilities. Are there some idiot coaches out there that don't know what they are doing? ABSOLUTELY.
This past spring in school ball, I had the mom of a rec ball catcher not understand why the girl they were catching a majority of the time was playing that position. She actually said that the other girl (travel ball catcher for a big organization) did not compare in ability to her daughter and started blaming politics. She became angry when she confronted the coach and he tried to be honest with her and explain that the starter was simply better, period.
Now that I have completely gotten off topic of the original post, I will say...I don't envy coaches that have a need to pickup a player to help their team out, whatever the reason is, someone is going to end up mad or with hurt feelings.

 

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Been in that situation twice this year. Both times the "subs" batted last in the order and played the least. After three games our leadoff hitter severely sprained her ankle and was out the remainder of the tourney. One the "subs" had been peeling the cover off the ball all weekend, always on base, lightening fast. I/we decided to lead her off and heard......not one word from any of my parents. It was obvious that we were in a spot, had won our pool and wanted to go out and win. The rest of the girls were perfectly supportive...very blessed with the parents I have had the past two years...dd will move onto something bigger better next year.......now that is a different post topic!! HAHA!!

 

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Something is wrong with an organization if they are not on the same page or following the same guidelines for our youth to obtain their goals. I can't see that organization surviving or reaching its full potential taking too many roads. I have been doing this a long time and it usually fails if everybody is not seeking common ground !!

 

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never quit in school or sports



The first time you quit, it's hard. The second time, it gets easier. The third time, you don't even have to think about it.
-Paul "Bear" Bryant,

Sometimes when the yellow rain becomes a torrent one has no choice.