Changing organizations in the middle of the season

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Look, a kid only has a limited number of years to play ball.

If the coach is not treating the girl fairly or is not respecting the players, then I say go. Although my daughter hasn't bolted teams, I've seen ridiculous situations where I thought a player *should.*

Why stay with a team when it's just going to be a miserable experience?

The "team commitment" people talk about ought to go both ways. But unfortunately, with some coaches, it does not.

I would agree

 

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" P.C Sting 13u as you all may know very good team, they have a great coach play in all the good tourn. just folded because certain parent's said they wanted a better fit, so they had too fold. I think this was very selfish and not fair too other player's, girl played all the time and was one of the main pitcher's, they had no reguard for other girl's very sad too me. Your on a team that is one of the top team's in state, and playing all the time what's a better fit."

Which state, and which schedule?

ohio of coarse they have been ranked in top ten all year, and their true 13u they have been playing in top tourn. played laser tourn. last week lost too chi town 3-2 so they can play with anyone. finished 3 last yr. at the asa eastern national's.

 

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Anyone who know's Steve William's know's he is as fine of person and coach as you are gonna find in travel. I've witnessed him take a group of girl's " local girl's I might add " and mold them into a team that could play with anyone in the matter of a couple yrs.They were unhappy cause she was not playing left side of the infield quite frankly she was not better than the one's who were. Not gonna mention team she hooked up with but be very surprised if she play's there for them either. My point is they knew they were leaving them knowing the only had 9 in my opinion this is happing way too much in travel ball it's like a revolving door with some of the bigger orgs.

 

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George-I appreciate the kind words, but I prefer to take the high road on our situation. Only rumors and/or exaggerated stories can come from continuing to discuss our breakup. Families have to do what they feel is best for them and there will always be differing opinions.

Let's move on...There are far too many good things happening in this growing sport that we could be talking about.

Steve Williams

 

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@ Take Two: very classy.

 

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you should stay with your current team.

Without knowing the situation one should not make that call. We were recently forced to bail with nowhere to go. We contacted the head of the organistion and he said he thought we were crazy for staying as we did.

 

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In my opinion you should only leave if it's affecting her skills or her confidence level. Looking back I had a few coaches where I should have bolted when I could have because they made me think I was no good and almost made me want to quit a sport that I love. But if it's just "she said that" type thing then I'd just ignor it

 

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My son's high school coaches ruined his love of the game. He won't totally admit it but, I think he plays now because my husband loves the game. Unfortunate.

I don't believe in jumping ship mid-season, but I guess there could be a few good reasons.

 

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In my opinion you should only leave if it's affecting her skills or her confidence level. Looking back I had a few coaches where I should have bolted when I could have because they made me think I was no good and almost made me want to quit a sport that I love. But if it's just "she said that" type thing then I'd just ignor it

You ever sit the bench and watch your postion make 15 errors a game? Ever go over to the ""official"" scorer, who happens to be Mom. and not one error is recorded? Excuse me, but that is reason enough to RUN.

 

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Looking at it from another angle, I would rather have a girl leave in the middle of the season than leave at the very end before nationals. At least if a girl leaves in the middle the team has a better chance of replacing that player with a quality player than scrambling a week or two before nationals and getting whatever. But to answer the question......**** it up and stay! The game is about the team.

 

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But to answer the question......**** it up and stay! The game is about the team.

The consensus on the boards seems to be that sticking it out is the character-building thing to do.

And maybe that's true sometimes, depending on the situation.

But not always. What about the character-building involved in a girl standing up for herself against treatment that is either unfair or just downright mean?

Sometimes, when appropriate, I think it's worthwhile to tell a coach where he can stick his all-purpose, embossed leatherette clipboard.

Encouraging girls to tolerate being mistreated serves no good purpose.

 

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OMG!! I think we need to call the aclu now! This is getting way too deep.

 

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Amen, Brineyman. There are certain lessons that girls are not obligated to learn. If you're in an abusive marriage, you should leave. You don't have to stay and get beaten or killed just to say you "stuck it out." An abusive, destructive atmosphere on a team is not something a player should attempt to endure. Get out. Don't think twice. Don't feel guilty. If coaches, parents or other players have created a situation that makes you miserable, then get away from it. They'll get along without you. There are always replacements out there. Your softball career is too short to waste a whole season in a bad situation. Find a good situation and be happy.

 

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I guess working at making a bad situation better isn't an option here? Whats going to happen when your daughters leave mommy and daddy's side? Help them all.

 

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I guess working at making a bad situation better isn't an option here? Whats going to happen when your daughters leave mommy and daddy's side?

Answer to question 1:

Seems the same people who say stick it out also say parents are for writing checks and driving girls. Period. Certainly, if a coach is willing to listen and acknowledge when you have a point, you may elect to stay. But some coaches won't do either. What do you do then?


Answer to question 2:

I hope when my dd goes out on her own, she will be able to stand up for herself and will expect fair treatment from any teacher, boss or boyfriend she encounters.

As I said in this thread, we've never pulled our daughter off a team.

But I kick myself that I didn't a few years back when my dd -- who batted .430 that tournament season -- was playing behind a girl who had a total of three hits in four weekends (3-for-probably-50-plus trips), simply because the other girl had played on this coach's team the year before.

Back then I thought all the things people like sdm are saying on these boards. Now i look back and feel I failed my dd -- not because of the softball, but because I stood by while she was disrespected and treated unfairly.

 

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Brineyman,

I would definitely agree with you about pulling out if your daughter was being abused, harassed, or treated without respect.

I think some people confuse that with their dd not playing the position they think they should be playing.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to put up with a coach, or anyone else for that matter, if you think your dd is being abused in any way.

But, once again, your dd is not being abused if she courtesy runs in a game, and doesn't play SS and bat 3rd.

As for listening to parents' suggestions, it is a difficult issue. Parents would each have a different batting order, have every girl in a different position, and have different strategies. Bottom line, you cannot please everybody. So, who do you listen to?

 

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I think some people confuse that with their dd not playing the position they think they should be playing.

I would say this is the root cause of an overwhelming majority of the issues on any travel team.

 

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Brineyman,

I would definitely agree with you about pulling out if your daughter was being abused, harassed, or treated without respect.

I think some people confuse that with their dd not playing the position they think they should be playing.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to put up with a coach, or anyone else for that matter, if you think your dd is being abused in any way.

But, once again, your dd is not being abused if she courtesy runs in a game, and doesn't play SS and bat 3rd.

As for listening to parents' suggestions, it is a difficult issue. Parents would each have a different batting order, have every girl in a different position, and have different strategies. Bottom line, you cannot please everybody. So, who do you listen to?

From a coaches perspective, Buckeye you hit it on the head. A very wise man, my father, told me the following and it is true in 99.9% of all cases.

"You can only please some of the people some of the time and none of the people all of the time." Always remember as a coach, your decisions will not be met with flying colors, but with questions and 20/20 hind sight.

So here's the deal. Pull your child if there is emotional, physical, or verbal abuse. Don't pull your child if your expectations are not being meet due to rose colored glasses. You can point to daddy ball or what ever, but there has been some sage advise given here. . .Always remember emotionals run very high when it is our own child involved and we do not perceive the situation to be giving them a fair shake. I really recommend you talk to someone that is not involved with the situation that can give you the view point from a softball educated point of view. Only mention facts, no he said, she saids. . . then listen with an open mind and open ears. You may, or may not like what you hear, but it will be the truth.

 

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Brineyman,

I would definitely agree with you about pulling out if your daughter was being abused, harassed, or treated without respect.

I think some people confuse that with their dd not playing the position they think they should be playing.

There is absolutely no reason whatsoever to put up with a coach, or anyone else for that matter, if you think your dd is being abused in any way.

But, once again, your dd is not being abused if she courtesy runs in a game, and doesn't play SS and bat 3rd.

As for listening to parents' suggestions, it is a difficult issue. Parents would each have a different batting order, have every girl in a different position, and have different strategies. Bottom line, you cannot please everybody. So, who do you listen to?

10000000000000% agree!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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BH97:

Ted and I talk a lot about this issue. When we are told we should play our best nine, it's not clear that the advisor and the advisees have the same concept of exactly who that would be, especially when it comes to putting your best nine on offense and your best nine on defense out there. ;& We've actually lost a player whose father thought that batting the #4 position as DP for two games in a row was "not playing" the daughter.