Coaches or me?????

adidasoftball

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Wanted my daughter to try out for some better teams or not play this year. I know it's rolling the dice but she has been on sub par teams before and losing a lot isn't fun. So get a hold of a bigger organization that supposedly needed a player and he strung us along on trying out for two weeks, never did get to tryout. My guess is he was waiting on a answer from a player he already knew. I am fine with that but don't give me lame excuses as to why the tryout can't happen and than just stop all form of communication. So than my daughter actually tries out for another team this weekend. Defensively and hit outstanding, she pitched a inning and was sub par. He wasn't looking for a pitcher and we were okay with that. We were okay with whatever he wanted to do with her as long as we could get on a good team. So after doing outstanding at hitting and playing great defense at 1st,2nd and outfield and the team going 4 and 0 for the day he says ok I need the uniform back and you did outstanding and I will text you. Never texted, as never called just nothing at all. That team made it to championship game Sunday and my daughter feels slighted because she had helped them get there. Me or are coaches just being egotistical to the point they can't have the decency to give you some feedback . Confused by this whole thing, maybe I smell Lol
 
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Definitely not you. We have been on the receiving end of that too where coaches just don't respond. I personally think it is rude but I do understand why some just don't. It is not because they are egotistical, some people just do not like confrontation. If a coach thinks maybe he is going to get a parent on the phone who would blow up for them not taking their daughter then they may avoid it. I am not saying you came off that way, I am just saying some people have that built into them where they avoid all confrontations, perceived or not.
 

adidasoftball

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Definitely not you. We have been on the receiving end of that too where coaches just don't respond. I personally think it is rude but I do understand why some just don't. It is not because they are egotistical, some people just do not like confrontation. If a coach thinks maybe he is going to get a parent on the phone who would blow up for them not taking their daughter then they may avoid it. I am not saying you came off that way, I am just saying some people have that built into them where they avoid all confrontations, perceived or not.
. I was very upfront about it was okay if he didn't think it was the right fit. I just thought he could at least text her ethier way, and he told her that he would be texting us that night.
 

Passion4theGame

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*67 block your number and call him. Maybe he will answer. Lol. I agree, some coaches do not like confrontation. Maybe something happened and he lost his phone or lost your number....... Good Luck. It will all work out. Just have your daughter keep having fun playing and loving the game and it will all fall into place for her. Don't get discouraged. Remember.., winning isn't everything. Yea its fun but we also want to make sure her Softball IQ and play is getting better.
 

FastBat

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Keep doing what you are doing. My guess is he wasn't overly impressed with your daughter. But, that doesn't mean another team won't be very impressed with her. She also got a little more experience this weekend, which will help her for next time. Good luck!
 

coachjwb

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Nothing worse for a young lady than a total lack of communication from coaches in a situation like this or a tryout.
 

Stupid Jim

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No, what's worse is trying to explain to your daughter why some jack*ss wont call you back.
 

adidasoftball

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Your right about him maybe not being impressed, but feedback is all we were after. She deserves that!
 

wow

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I can say communication is the key. Its really not about yr DD abilities. There are a lot of agendas out there, this includes coaches and parents. I find two types of coaches. Its fight or flight. Some are willing to be brutally honest and tell you what they think. Although not popular it's a necessity. The other side of this is when a coach just does not want to deal with confrontation. Most likely when you get no further communication its just easier to have kids go away if the coach is not interested. I agree feedback is paramount and the least the coach could do after subbing. But always remember don't ask questions where you may not like the answer!

Trying out and subbing are very different. I think having a detailed discussion with the coach prior to will help define what the coach/team needs Vs what yr DD is looking for. So always ask a lot of questions prior to stepping on the field.

I understand how you feel about explaining to yr DD about a coaching decision. Its always pulls at yr heartstrings when your kid is slighted. Here's the best advice I was ever given. Step back and take the emotions out. Try and understand what happened from the outside and don't allow anyone to make yr kid fell inferior. For example. If you don't get a call back let her know it was not meant to be and there are better opportunities out there. You have to forge your own path and not allow others to define you. Have strong convictions. Most importantly surround yrself with others who have the same goals.
 

3ballbratz

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Your right about him maybe not being impressed, but feedback is all we were after. She deserves that!

That is a great attitude to have. Why is it so hard for coaches to give feedback ? They just want to move on to the next. My oldest daughter was cut by 5 teams the start of her travel career at 11u. And every coach that cut her looked her straight in the eye and told her what she needed to work on to make their squads the next year. She listened, worked her butt off a few years, and is now arguably one of the top pitchers in the state. And guess what... We STILL want feedback.
 

3ballbratz

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I can say communication is the key. Its really not about yr DD abilities. There are a lot of agendas out there, this includes coaches and parents. I find two types of coaches. Its fight or flight. Some are willing to be brutally honest and tell you what they think. Although not popular it's a necessity. The other side of this is when a coach just does not want to deal with confrontation. Most likely when you get no further communication its just easier to have kids go away if the coach is not interested. I agree feedback is paramount and the least the coach could do after subbing. But always remember don't ask questions where you may not like the answer!

Trying out and subbing are very different. I think having a detailed discussion with the coach prior to will help define what the coach/team needs Vs what yr DD is looking for. So always ask a lot of questions prior to stepping on the field.

I understand how you feel about explaining to yr DD about a coaching decision. Its always pulls at yr heartstrings when your kid is slighted. Here's the best advice I was ever given. Step back and take the emotions out. Try and understand what happened from the outside and don't allow anyone to make yr kid fell inferior. For example. If you don't get a call back let her know it was not meant to be and there are better opportunities out there. You have to forge your own path and not allow others to define you. Have strong convictions. Most importantly surround yrself with others who have the same goals.

Great post wow !
 

JoeA1010

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Travel coaches who don't call or e-mail back about tryouts when they say they are going to are people you were better off avoiding, anyway. Just horrible.

In today's world (I'm old at this point), communication is just horrendous. I am still waiting on a return call from whoever was the coach at Ohio University on Jan. 25, 2010. Keep in mind I was also a college coach at this time. I am still waiting on a return call from about two months ago from a higher-up at the college where I currently work. This person even saw me on campus about two weeks ago and remarked that she owed me a phone call. I could go on and on.

If anyone is waiting on a return call from me from Buckeye Heat tryouts from 2004 or so, leave a note here with your number. I've just been a little busy, I'm getting around to it.
 

Captain_Thunder

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Thanks for reviving an old thread Joe!
Everyone seems always ready to jump on the softball travel coach for not responding with the bad news (that majority probably already assumed). It is the way of life in many, many aspects!

You call 10 contractors to remodel your kitchen and never hear back from most of them! Someone gets their paycheck on Friday and never shows back up for work on Monday! It is the natural way to avoid conflict and drama for many. I don't agree with it, but it happens in all walks of life every day.

If someone wants the work, or to keep their current job, or have your DD play on their team - they will make contact. If not, then you move on, otherwise you start writing off a vast majority of today's population! Not always because these are bad people, but cowardly to any type of confrontation.....good, bad, or ugly....
 

Farmdad

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"We will contact players that are receiving offers to join the team." - I can respect that. It would be even better if we heard "If you don't hear from us by Tuesday, we have filled our roster. Thank you."

"I will call you either way with our decision by next week." - if you don't call us, I'll have to try explain to my daughter why you lied to us.

A "grown-up" that gives your daughter a private tryout and does not contact you - loses all respect from me.


I was so proud of my dd last summer. She worked really hard, tried out, and got some offers to play travel ball. The sad thing is she also learned that some adults will actually look her in the eyes and lie to her. I was just hoping to avoid that lesson for a while.
 

allcorners

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You do not want to play for a coach that can't communicate. You will not be happy and end up leaving. I think communication is an essential for being a good coach. There is a fit out there for everyone.....don't give up...keep looking. It's not you.
 

daboss

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Don't fret over this incident. Just move on. Life is too short. You've already formed your opinion of the guy and their team. This still isn't going to get you what you want and that's to find a quality club to be actively a part of. I'm not saying what happened is right or wrong although it appears to lean towards wrong. Take a deep breath and go shopping again. Somebody out there will be thrilled to have your daughter. You simply have not found the right match.
 

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Some years ago, my oldest DD had a private try out with a team (one of those teams that always has"one more spot to complete our roster"). She did an entire indoor practice (it was winter time) with them, and looked pretty good. Of the 12 or so girls there, she was probably about the third or fourth best player there, definitely in the top third talent wise. Some parents came up to me to chit chat, said my DD looked good, already knew where she would play with this team, yada, yada, yada....

After the practice, the coach says that he saw some really good things, saw some things that can be improved,ect... He said that he would contact me the next day or two and we would work out some details. After a half hour drive home, I get on "The Softball Zone" and see that this coach already bumped his "Team Looking for One More" post back to the top. Needless to say, I never received the courtesy of a call/text/or email back.

I realize that these coaches always hold a spot open for that kid with crazy talent, that is better than their whole team, not just better than most of their kids. That's fine, I know how the game works. But I don't know how you lead a kid on without ever having the intent to take them, and then not have the courtesy to let them know your decision?

In the end, I'm glad that we didn't end up on that team. My DD ended up in a better place. We still joke about if we are ever going to get a response from that guy. The funny thing is, he used to post on here all of the time. Not sure if he still does, but if so he is probably reading this and not realizing that he is that "donkey" coach. :p
 

FastBat

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Trust me, it's always the coach! My dd plays for a coach that has a swing and miss sign (when there's two strikes on her + two outs + runners in scoring position). She's played on this team for two seasons now and has been getting this sign since fall ball last year. I know this because she hit like a champ at Nationals last August. Then, they took a few weeks off and when they came back, her coach kept giving her this swing and miss sign. So, last weekend a different coach filled in, and he not only had the same swing and miss sign, but he also had a bunt and miss sign (with < two strikes on her, then it became the same swing and miss sign). I asked my dd to please ignore the swing/bunt and miss sign and for some reason she swears there is no such sign. I know she's just covering for her coach and it's not my little angel is just swinging and missing.

It's always the coach and what makes it worse is her coach also has this ridiculous "Tuesday rule". So parents can't call to discuss the past weekends shortcomings until Tuesday after the tournament, which seems way too long after. And I herd the "Tuesday rule" might get changed to the "Wednesday rule", not sure why that is!
 
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