coaches yelling: positive or negative

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Every player is different, and we shouldn't coach them all the same. As a coach its our responsibility to get the most out of our kids no matter what sport we coach. I feel to do that you have to know how far you can push each individual player on our team to get the most out of them.

 

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As with anything there is a time and place for it. I have yelled at times in the past but only to the team as a whole when they didnt seem to have their heads in the game. I think if you 99% of the time keep things positive then a little yelling once in a long while can be very effective as it is unusual for you as a coach. The team knows that this is serious. At the same time I am 100% against yelling at every error or mistake on the field. You can often get away with that with boys but some girls just shut down entirely to that kind of technique.

 

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I have no problem with coaches who are intense or passionate about the game. A loud voice is often times mistaken for yelling when it's intent is to grab the attention of the player.

Let's throw this one into the conversation...

First tournament of the summer season this year - my daughters team was warming up - I decided to watch another 14U game which had just started.

The team out in the field had a pretty bad first inning resulting in a few errors and a few runs. You could tell the girls were beating themselves up over it. They finally got their third out. The coach was so angry he had the girls drop and do pushups in front of their dugout, in front of the other team, in front of the umpire and in front of all the parents.

I can only assume he was the head coach and it was VERY obvious the other coach did not agree with this decision. I have to agree with the other coach - not the time or place for that...

 

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in a defense of coaches, are we saying that a college coach is not going to be yelling at them 24/7? does mike candrea yell during practice and then turn it off for the TV cameras?
Plus, many girls assume coaches are "yelling" at them when it's nothing more than saying things louder. Ever been to compuware? you can't hear in the dugout, something about the acoustics of that place. We yelled at each other to get water!
Two, at this level, i've heard just about 90% of 16u coaches yell at kids, talking loud, whatever. most of the time it comes from not paying attention, other times it's for motivational purposes (some backfire as in the #1 coaches chant--"get it together, girls!"), and other times it's from frustration. Obviously, as a coach, you want to avoid frustrational yelling. Women coaches can also yell just as well as the men. Yelling doesn't also make you a bad person. no one hears the dugout conversation afterwards, do we? I get a front row seat for those and it's so cool to see the connection between student and teacher.
3) the "slump" is sometimes much better than the yelling. Ever see the head coach walk away from the 3rd baseline? Ever see them slump their heads when their own DD doesn't slide into 3rd and gets thrown out? no one ever posts on the OFC about their head coach turning their back on a kid during an at-bat, or look down at the ground and kick the dirt. Much worse than yelling, believe me! and don't act like you haven't done it people!
four, girls react much differently as individuals. Some know why, they are harder on themselves, life goes on. some have been the golden child of their community team every season, never get told a thing and boo-hoo at the slightest provocation. Others talk back and try to rationalize a bad play. Obviously every coach makes that decision about what to say, how loud to say it and how much.

Yelling in sports is like whipped cream and apple pie. You're going to have it, learn to avoid getting it the most and know why it was provoked. I think we owe it to our DD's to have them grow an extra layer. If they can handle the rides home with their dads (and i'm guilty of that), they can handle being yelled at.

 

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Praise effort, not abilities.

I *totally* agree, MC.

In fact I've always told the girls that there are no good hitters -- only well practiced hitters.

You could extend that to all the other aspects of the game.

Ability is the main component of success in 10u -- but by the end of 12u, it's a distant third behind good practice and good coaching.

 

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One thing I learned early is that it isn't possible to yell at one player on a girls team, even your own kid. You may think your yelling at one player but in reality your yelling at the whole team and they all react as if your yelling at them personally ( i.e. you aren't just making the SS you lit up nervous and afraid to fail, your doing it to the whole team )

Volume is a tool that should be used for praise and instruction ( i.e. "great job!" "Corners In!" ) The best result you can expect from yelling negatively at a girl is that it might unify them as a team. Unfortunately your unifying them in their disdain for you, which can be difficult to recover from long term.

There are parents who like to see their kids yelled at, they expect to see their kid lit up like a Christmas tree whenever they make a mistake. I've explained to those parents that I won't do that as a coach because IMO it's counter productive to making them a better player and allowing them to play their best by playing without fear of failure. Sometimes they have to leave a find a screamer who will make them feel they are getting their money's worth out of coaching and I will admit there are probably a select few kids out there who respond very well to being screamed at. As much as I agree with the concept of changing your coaching style to match the players needs, I think there is only so far you can stretch your method's and still be consistant and being consistant is part of how you earn respect long term.

 

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Yelling only puts everyone on the defensive. Raising your voice to get attention, etc... is okay but NEVER NEVER NEVER downgrade a child. They never forget or forgive. With tryouts beginning be sure to remember this and try to watch the particular team that you are trying out for - not just their record and performance. So many parents get wrapped up in winning and forget about the morale of their dd.

 

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... at this level, i've heard just about 90% of 16u coaches yell at kids, talking loud, whatever. most of the time it comes from not paying attention, other times it's for motivational purposes (some backfire as in the #1 coaches chant--"get it together, girls!"), and other times it's from frustration. Obviously, as a coach, you want to avoid frustrational yelling. 3) the "slump" is sometimes much better than the yelling. Ever see the head coach walk away from the 3rd baseline? Ever see them slump their heads when their own DD doesn't slide into 3rd and gets thrown out? no one ever posts on the OFC about their head coach turning their back on a kid during an at-bat, or look down at the ground and kick the dirt. Much worse than yelling, believe me! and don't act like you haven't done it people!

There are some great comments here. As a coach that has a reputation for being loud and yelling I would like to comment. I have coached the same group of girls for 3 seasons now, 10u thru 11u this season. I am intense and vocal. A core group of 7 players have been with me now for over 250 games, a thousand practices, and untold hours. This season we went into it with a plan to let the girls play, motivate themselves and for my coaches to focus more on coaching. Several tourney's into the season as I was walking down the fence my parents stopped me and told me to get in there and get on the girls... I told them no, they have to 'own' it and find their own fire... since that time I have become a little more vocal and directive to them and we are finally reaching a good medium.

I talk to my parents a lot, we try to keep a very open line of communication - that is the key to keeping a team together. The one thing they all have told me is that while they did think I was too vocal early on, I would always leave a positive and constructive comment, praise or even a hug as the last thing before the girl went back on the field - you have to build them up after correcting them.

One other thing we did early on was we set our positions and keep girls there. My SS, 2nd, catcher, etc knows she is going to be at that position all season (baring injury) and she is not going to 'lose' that position or get yanked for making a mistake (I may pull her for not being mentally in the game, etc, but they always go right back at that position the next game, or later in the game to get a chance to redeem themselves)..

We coaches and parents/players know we are in for the long term with our team. We occasionally move girls around, not much though, our players have a position and we are grooming them to be better all the time, not just for this season but for the next 5! We have never released a player at tryouts, all girls have moved on with the team. Their parents know that, the players know it and they love it and perform well.

Me, my coaches and parents are still learning. After one parent discussion early this season about my vocal approach, the very parent that chastised me came in our dugout during a game the next weekend and ripped his DD. I did not overreact, I simply walked up to the girl, put my arm around her and told her a bad game does not tarnish a superstar like her and that I will talk with dad and it will not allow it to happen again. I addressed it with him and all our parents and he has been fine since.

The bottom line is that these are kids - but they are not playing 12 rec ball games a year. They practice hundreds of hours, play 70 or more games a year and the level of intensity, expectation and accountability for them is high.

At the same time they are also young girls and very few are able to bring that intensity and the understanding that they need to focus all game, come prepared to play hard, and that they let down the team when they don't - that is why the coaches need to make sure they are pushing them as needed.

Derek's post on praising effort vs results/performance is great, we adopted that about mid season when he sent it to our coaches. We have had more girls lay out for balls, try shoestring catches and their overall level of play has improved since we began praising effort.

Lastly, as coaches, none of us are perfect. I just ask our Hawks coaches to listen and adapt to the proper feedback we get from parents and players. Coach Kepple's coaches (10u) and my coaches have changed our approach during practices and games over this season with positive results. The parents see that, respect it and the girls are winning and having more fun than ever.

We had an intense 3hr practice last night - we have played over 70 games this season, we practice 2-3 times a week.. while the girls were gathering their stuff to leave around 9:30pm I noticed how dirty and sweaty they all were... I hollered over at them from the parents area, 'Was it a good practice?' .. instantly they yelled back, with smiles on their faces -- YES! That is all I needed to hear.

 

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good post, Doug. having a team for that long and growing with them certainly has its advantages, and I'm sure other coaches who have had roughly the same crew since 10's or 12's adjusts his/her coaching style for their age.

 

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Yelling in sports is like whipped cream and apple pie. You're going to have it, learn to avoid getting it the most and know why it was provoked. I think we owe it to our DD's to have them grow an extra layer. If they can handle the rides home with their dads (and i'm guilty of that), they can handle being yelled at.

I have read all the posts about how it makes them shutdown, look over their shoulder, second guess themselves, it is a demotivator, etc, etc.

All I can say is that it probably did all that, but it made them tough, battlers, and have no fear of any situation. our kids have won big, 14 tourney's in 2.5 season, and 9 second place finishes. After we lost all three pp games once last year and came out on Sunday smokin' to win 5 straight games and the tourney (when we rallied from 5 down in our last AB in the semi-final game) the coach came up to me and told me he had never seen a group so focused on winning after looking so bad the previous day. I told him what Statman says above - they are tough group, they have pride in their play and all I told them was they have worked too hard to give up, let's win it all on Sunday...

 

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Well I must admit, I laid into my pitcher at Beavercreek, but it was only because her mom just gave her a big thing of loaded nachos and she immediately bolted from the dugout because a butterfly was "chasing" her which she apparently has a phobia about. This all during a game where she was supposed to be prepared to go into the game at anytime. Is that justified?

I bet anyone that has played for me before would immediately know who I am talking about.

LMAO, Mike!

You just don't get it. That kid is a multi-tasker. She can eat, run from scary butterflies, and then go in and shut an offense down! hehehe

 

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Different kids respond to different methods of coaching, just like all swings are not alike neither are the respective motivational methods for each kid. Some respond and flourish under a more drill sgt like coach, and some will crumple at what they think is un need badgering.

The secret to being a good coach is to find what works for each player, some are more hands on , some are more verbal........ it just takes a coach being smarter and more mature then his players to discover what each kid needs.

Just remember that softball like all sports is a game of emotion, not only for the players and the parents but the coaches as well........ Its easy to get caught up in the moment after all coaches are human too ( contrary to what most parents say ).........lol

 

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Bouldersdad hit it right on the head. My older DD does not respond to criticism as she is harder on herself than anyone else could possibly hope to be. She yells at herself and gets down on herself if at any time she performs below 100%, so I have to be positive with her most of the time. Her oldest, younger sister on the other hand, is quite the opposite, I have to give her a kick in the pants most of the time, and she takes it well...she might come into the dugout after a bad inning or bad at-bat and I can tell her that she ****s or that was a crappy inning and she just replies, "Well, I'm YOUR daughter!". There is no universal method, especially for girls!!!

Of course this relates to previous posts when I reply that she is adopted!!! Again, no insult intended....!

 

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I too have sat and read all of the posts and wonder, when I was growing up (as I am in my 40s now)was yelled at good and bad and am not scared for life by it. Are we in the age of pampering all athletes (see lebron). Have we forgotten how we were treated on the ballfield? Thank goodness our dd's aren't playing football or is it different for males? As I stated before in an earlier post I do not condone down right degrading or bashing of players but do condone reminders of what to do or corrections of mistakes. If players beat themselves up so much and don't need a reminder or correcting than why do they even need coaches on game day? Oh wait its to tell them to tag on a flyball when their heads are somewhere else. (and you do have to yell when the runner is on second)

 

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I saw my DD go from a very confident girl that played hard and always played to make plays, to a tentative girl that played to not make mistakes in one season under a coach that would yell at the players every time they made an error. He could not get through a game without making girls cry. Then his DD would feel bad because of the way her Dad treated her teammates. It was a viscious circle. There is a difference between yelling at a player for making mistakes and yelling to a player or team the play or situation. One is counter productive the other is coaching. We tell our girls we will not get on them for making a bad throw or missing a ball. We will get on them for not hustleing or not knowing the situation or mental errors, but we will not yell at them from the dugout for everyone in the park to here. We will pull them aside and talk to them. If you have good players and you have coached them well, they will already know when they made a mistake, the last thing they need is some coach ripping them from the dugout for everyone to here.

 

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There is a difference between yelling at a player for making mistakes and yelling to a player or team the play or situation. One is counter productive the other is coaching. We tell our girls we will not get on them for making a bad throw or missing a ball. We will get on them for not hustleing or not knowing the situation or mental errors, but we will not yell at them from the dugout for everyone in the park to here. We will pull them aside and talk to them.

This is exactly the way it should be. There is a huge difference when yelling. Its not about pampering its about coaching. Coaches put your big EGO]s aside - and coach

 

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I have seen my share of opposing coaches that are intense and from 1st inning to the last constantly communicate in an elevated tone of voice. By the end of the game I'm ready to find out...what field do we play on next? Having said that, they are not "wrong"...just different from me. Just because it can get under my skin doesn't mean their approach is flawed, just a different approach. Probably goes more to personality differences.

I do not and have never been in favor of chastising a player for ALL to hear. I will...speak to be heard....with instruction/coaching about whatever the situation calls for. IMHO, any chastising or frustration should be given in a one on one, coach and player. Pull her aside at the end of an inning and address it directly in front of the player making sure she gets the message but always ending the conversation letting her know what I think she is capable of...being positive.

 

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I admit that I yell all the time:

NICE HIT
GOOD PLAY
SSSSSSSSSLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIDDDDDDDDDDDDDDEEEEEEEEEE
BACK BACK BACK
GO GO GO
WAY TO HUSTLE
NICE CATCH!
NICE PITCH (on a close one that the blue called a ball)
SSSSSSSSAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAFFFFFFFFFFFFFEEEEEEEEEEE!
OOOUUUTTT!
WAY TO MOVE!
DANA - YOU SHOULD'VE HAD THAT ONE! (to my CF on a popup behind home plate.. inside joke)
WHAT? WHAT WAS THAT? SAY AGAIN? (I don't hear that well)
8:00am GAME? AW ****... (my girls say that also)

I think you get the idea..

 

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I have a big issue in this area. How many coaches even find out if a kid has any learning disabilities ? Few have asked, so I'm going to take it that way. Bustos will be the first to tell you she has no idea what Mike was giving her as a sign. Some kids cannot figure out when the coach wants them to bunt, but they are the first to tell them they are you slow or stupid? My dd loves playing for her current coaches. He just posted above about CF. In high school she struggled. Coach yelled and kids cried. Learning how to deal with females is a big part of this game. You must adjust your signs for these kids.

 

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the last thing they need is some coach ripping them from the dugout for everyone to here.

Exactly.

I think the more basic issue here is the clear fact that some coaches -- the bad ones -- feel the need to ensure the game is all about THEM: What geniuses they are, how they deploy their teams like chess pieces, how they control the tempo of the game and tell their girls just the right thing at the right time, etc.

I've seen coaches run their teams out of innings and out of games for no good reason, and coaches who are constantly nagging their girls every second of every game for the whole game long. I'm convinced that some of them just can't stop making themselves the center of everything, as pathetic as that sounds.