How long till they want her to change

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I agree with that, the only exception would be in tearing down a swing or pitching motion and rebuilding it. But there arent a lot of travel ball coaches out there that have that kind of time either, so I think its a wash. I think you see parents act a little bit like snobs towards high school ball...travel snobs lol...their attitude is ________ is lucky my DD is going there, and when coach trys to change something they take it personal and cant believe the coach isnt jumping up and down like they won the lottery when their DD showed up. Many Freshman parents undervalue the age difference in maturity both mentally and physically of high school Juniors/Seniors and their DD's, they've only really been around ball players their kids age. I think the travel snobs carry their attitude over until around the DD's Junior or senior year...IMO that is why year in and year out we see so many negative high school posts from parents of Frosh/Sophs and quite a bit fewer negative posts about high school from parents of Juniors/seniors.

Just IMO, but this topic regarding high school and travel has always kind of bothered me, just enjoy watching your kid play both in high school and travel, it goes by fast and they are not performing life saving or life improving work. Way to many ways to enjoy being parents to let a very small portion of their lives cause as much stress as softball seems to cause many people.

What a great post! We lose perspective sometimes in regards to our children. When we lose perspective, we forget to enjoy the moment. My kids played travel baseball and softball. I loved watching them( my son is now a freshman in college and no longer plays). The best times however, weren't on the field. It was the time spent in the car, having fun with the team on Saturday night, or spending time with your child who would have otherwise been out with friends rather than spending time with you, in a hotel, in the middle of nowhere. Don't stress, have fun. When it is all over--or almost in my case--you will realize that you really worried for nothing.
 
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fpitchdad -- to answer your question, I coached fastpitch for 12 years. In doing that, I learned that players advance farther and faster when they have expert coaching. I do not claim to be an expert, but I can and do put my dd in the care of pitching and hitting coaches who are expert in what they do in the belief that if my dd wants to be the best softball player she can, then her mother and I will do what we can to help her achieve that.

If we're paying for private lessons with quality, respected instructors, the lessons and mechanics they impart should be respected by a team's coaching staff. If a team's coaching staff detects what they perceive to be a flaw, I think the flaw should be discussed with the player, and then presented to the private coach to correct. Because in my experience and observation, travel ball coaches rarely have the time to work with a player to correct a mechanical error, whereas a position coach does.
Having been a coach, albeit, rec league, I respect the rank that the team head coach has. In
ball, it is the parents responsibility to find the best teams and coaches for our dd to play and learn the game.

Thank you. Excellent post.
 
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@fpitchdad, I agree wholeheartedly with your comment about providing the lessons and experts to help DD become the best player she can. That's awesome and that's exactly what we have been doing with our DD's for years.

I also agree that the head coach should work with those specialty coaches when they see something. I'd guess a lot of the specialty coaches don't see the kid in the game situations.

I'm a parent, not a coach. I help out when asked. But what do you do when a coach doesn't do that, doesnt listen to the player, or the specialty coach, or the parents?
 
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I'm a parent, not a coach. I help out when asked. But what do you do when a coach doesn't do that, doesnt listen to the player, or the specialty coach, or the parents?

I don't really have that answer. If our players are seeing hitting instructors, or pitching instructors, we usually know who they are and know what they should be doing. Changing a girl is not going to help anything, just cause confusion for the girl. When a coach doesn't want to do any of that and has a his way or highway attitude toward the kids that are receiving training, then I feel really bad for the kids in that situation and it's probably going to be a long season. Now with the travel ball kids on our team.....just because you play travel, doesn't mean your the cream of the crop on a hs program. We only have 6 girls in our program that have played travel ball and 4 out of the 6 have not came back the following school year any better then they were the year before. To be honest, only 3 of the 6 will probably be on the varsity starting 9. I could go into that a lot more, but that's probably for another thread. As far a parents go and this may sound harsh....but the last time I checked, parents don't take the field for us. These kids are in High School now, it's time to start taking responsibility for yourselves. If the player has a problem that is softball related, then the player needs to come to the head coach, not the parent. Now if I parent does have a concern, we will talk to them, but playtime, or a discussion about another player will not be discussed. Sorry for the rambling.
 
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As for my daughters high school coach, when she was a freshman/sophmore I asked him she would be confused if I took her to an instructor/ I taught the same thing to her at home and then she goes to practice and hears something different. He has been good about it. I also told my daughter to listen to her coach. Which she would do anyway.

Most of her teammates dont go to anyone and dont play in the off season.
So even if I brought in a hitting coach how many would put it to use.

He has to do the best he can with most girls who just show up on the first day of practice and look for their glove that same day.


Probably the best thing is have your daughter give the highschool coach respect, and then on your own away from the field try and have a respectfull conversation with him or her on what you work on away from her high school practices.



Straightleg
 
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Fpitch Dad -- thanks for your comment. There was one other point I forgot to mention, but I think someone subsequently mentioned it. It's been our experience that our dd's private coaches aren't available to come watch her perform in a game. So should the coach from her team notice a flaw during a game, there's a good chance that it may not occur during a lesson. So that feedback makes it possible for the problem to be corrected during a lesson. Everybody wants to see the kids get better.
 
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I appreciate the input and though I may sound half-crazed I am trying to play it cool and reasonable with the situation. And in complete honesty, since we started with this catching coach this is the only coach we've had any issues with. The TB coaches have had no issues whatsoever.

I do tell my DD to communicate to the coach (who even admitted to know little about catching) directly. Explain what you do and why. That fell on deaf ears. We set up a meeting with our catching coach. Coach blew it off. Were scratching our heads and I told my daughter to follow her training.

This is really an intimidating position to be in as a freshman in HS. DD asked for our help so we did get involved as parents. When the coach said that she wanted to change her catching, my first question was why? And to this day we've received no reason other than she's the HS coach and she has that right. That's the point of disagreement.

Now, if DD was just playing for fun then frankly I wouldn't really care. But she wants to play at the next level hence the catching lessons and so on. Like some of you, I'm helping her to achieve her goals because that's what I'm supposed to do as a parent. DD has really developed and has gotten notice already by colleges. She's received letters from college programs and we've visited some campuses already and she's a sophomore this year. And we know she's being watched by more.

We did have a meeting with the coach and AD last summer but it doesn't appear to had accomplish anything. We have tried everything including sending the coach information, inviting her to catching lessons, offered meeting with the catching coach at the HS coach's convenience. I don't know what else to do other than tell my DD to "listen to what the coach says, shake your head, a do what you've been trained to do."

I'm open to suggestions but giving in to the HS coach is not an option.
 
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Welcome to high school sports semperfi it sounds like you have been teaching your dd how to play softball now that some one thinks different you are upset,alot of freshman and soph parents whos dd plays travel ball thinks there dd should be varsity ,well uber had it right the age difference is alot of it plus travel ball has been watered down through the years, mabey you got a taste of your own medicine if dd is good player she will be ok.
 
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I agree with that, the only exception would be in tearing down a swing or pitching motion and rebuilding it. But there arent a lot of travel ball coaches out there that have that kind of time either, so I think its a wash. I think you see parents act a little bit like snobs towards high school ball...travel snobs lol...their attitude is ________ is lucky my DD is going there, and when coach trys to change something they take it personal and cant believe the coach isnt jumping up and down like they won the lottery when their DD showed up. Many Freshman parents undervalue the age difference in maturity both mentally and physically of high school Juniors/Seniors and their DD's, they've only really been around ball players their kids age. I think the travel snobs carry their attitude over until around the DD's Junior or senior year...IMO that is why year in and year out we see so many negative high school posts from parents of Frosh/Sophs and quite a bit fewer negative posts about high school from parents of Juniors/seniors.

Just IMO, but this topic regarding high school and travel has always kind of bothered me, just enjoy watching your kid play both in high school and travel, it goes by fast and they are not performing life saving or life improving work. Way to many ways to enjoy being parents to let a very small portion of their lives cause as much stress as softball seems to cause many people.

Perfectly said uber, also i think fresh ,soph parents think that if there dd plays travel ball they are so good that they should be varsity and when they have to play jv it hurts the parents feelings more than the players .
 
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Welcome to high school sports semperfi it sounds like you have been teaching your dd how to play softball now that some one thinks different you are upset,alot of freshman and soph parents whos dd plays travel ball thinks there dd should be varsity ,well uber had it right the age difference is alot of it plus travel ball has been watered down through the years, mabey you got a taste of your own medicine if dd is good player she will be ok.


Please tell me how you glean that I am upset from what I wrote:

I think most of us can agree that if a coach, whether it be the HS or TB, sees something that our DD's are struggling with, they have the duty to help make changes that would improve the problem. The problem arises when any coach says, you will do it my way or else! We are talking mainly about freshmen girls that need to understand where they are and what they need to do to get to the next level. They need to have confidence in what they are doing and what they have done in the past. They need to speak for themselves and have the moxie to stand up and tell whoever, I understand where you are coming from but let me prove myself before you make any changes. If done in correctly, no coach should have a problem with this. However, if the first words out of her mouth is " but my dad or mom says" you as a coach have lost this DD. IMHO

and while you are explaining this, please include the medicine I've been taking!
 
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HS softball isn't a life or death situation! Losing sight of what HS softball is all about can muddy the waters. IMO, most coaches, both travel AND HS, are impressed when the DD handles her "softball life" without mom & dad setting up a buffer zone and getting involved with everyday things. After all, when your DD goes off to college to play ball, SHE is the one responsible for handling her life. That's not to say that mom & dad are not offering help & advice, it's just that mom & dad should avoid contact as much as possible with the DD's coach - unless the contact is requested by the coach.

Teach your DD's to handle their own conflicts - most kids are pretty resilient and will surprise you! A 14 year old will really impress a coach if she has great communication skills to go along with great softball skills. Can't go wrong there!
 
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I was not going to comment on this thread because it is so touchy and I know my comments could rub some the wrong way.but here goes...

I believe in the theory of "if it aint broke dont fix it" but I also believe in " If you aint producing then as coaches we need to tweek you to make you produce". or change you if need be

The problem I see is when I played I took any and all suggestions from any coach I played for but I also did NOT pay a ton of money for specialty coaches like they do now a days, I understand all the money spent ,,,,My DD when to Doug Gillis`s acadamy and took classes we spent a lot of cash and then went to HS ball and the coached TWEEKED her a little to make sure she was productive in what she did. The problem I also see is the players have to be coachable and not just one minded and I have seen ALOT of that

We have a girl on our varsity team that has an UGLY swing but she hit 400 last year and we have not done anything with her. Now I am not sure if thats the right thing to do but it works for us...lol

I have told many of my players if not all that i respect that they go to a specialty coach and I appreciate it, heck any help I can get is AWSOME, lol but if it aint working the way they are being shown by their specialty coach then I have 2 options

1, Is teach them the way I know and help them produce
2, Find someone who can produce in that position.
I know that sounds like I am being a mean coach but at the HS level ecspecialy at the Varsity level you have to produce to keep you your starting job.
 
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I was not going to comment on this thread because it is so touchy and I know my comments could rub some the wrong way.but here goes...

I believe in the theory of "if it aint broke dont fix it" but I also believe in " If you aint producing then as coaches we need to tweek you to make you produce". or change you if need be

The problem I see is when I played I took any and all suggestions from any coach I played for but I also did NOT pay a ton off money for specialty coaches like they do now a days, I understand all the money spent ,,,,My DD when to Doug Gillis`s acadamy and took classes we spent a lot of cash and then went to HS ball and the coached TWEEKED her a little to make sure she was productive in what she did. The problem I also see is the players have to be coachable and not just one minded and I have seen ALOT of that

We have a girl on our varsity team that has an UGLY swing but she hit 400 last year and we have not done anything with her. Now I am not sure if thats the right thing to do but it works for us...lol

I have told many of my players if not all that i respect that they go to a specialty coach and I appreciate it, heck any help I can get is AWSOME, lol but if it aint working the way they are being shown by their specialty coach then I have 2 options

1, Is teach them the way I know and help them produce
2, Find someone who can produce in that position.
I know that sounds like I am being a mean coach but at the HS level ecspecialy at the Varsity level you have to produce to keep you your starting job.

Excellent - exactly the way it should be.

About being "coachable"... My son tried out for one of the better known travel baseball orgs. in Ohio It was a "private" tryout, because we could not make the regular scheduled team tryout. Before he even threw a pitch, the head coach walked out to the mound with him and they stood there and chatted for about 5-10 minutes. To this day, I don't know what was said, but after the tryout he was offered a spot on the team. Coach told me later that he already knew about his baseball skills. BUT - he wanted to find out if he was coachable... how he reacted to suggestions from the coach. His attitude towards that was the icing on the cake.
 
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,alot of freshman and soph parents whos dd plays travel ball thinks there dd should be varsity ,well uber had it right the age difference is alot .

All but one of my team is now off to High School ball. Of them all but 2 will be freshmen this year. Talking to these parents all of us agree that we would rather have our DD's play JV then to set Varsity! Not one of us think our DD's will start varsity! We understand that there are a lot of good players at the upper levels and our DD's need to earn the spot and will not have it handed to them just because they play travel. The point of this post was what will High School coaches want to change without knowing how hard the DD has worked. Nothing was said if she was a travel player or not. My team and I would bet most incoming Freshman travel players have been either in a game or at practice an average of 2 to 3 times a week since the end of the High School season last year. Now you tell me that a mature non-traveling junior who hasn't picked up a ball since who knows when would look better to the coach? Tell me one more thing, how many starting upper classmen at your High School do not play travel?
 
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As a High School Coach, this has been some very interesting reading, I would be curious to know how many of the people posting are parents that have never coached. No disrespect intended, just would like to know.

I have coached travel, went back to coaching rec, and after youngest graduates, will start up a select team to continue to build our high school's program.
 
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All but one of my team is now off to High School ball. Of them all but 2 will be freshmen this year. Talking to these parents all of us agree that we would rather have our DD's play JV then to set Varsity! Not one of us think our DD's will start varsity! We understand that there are a lot of good players at the upper levels and our DD's need to earn the spot and will not have it handed to them just because they play travel. The point of this post was what will High School coaches want to change without knowing how hard the DD has worked. Nothing was said if she was a travel player or not. My team and I would bet most incoming Freshman travel players have been either in a game or at practice an average of 2 to 3 times a week since the end of the High School season last year. Now you tell me that a mature non-traveling junior who hasn't picked up a ball since who knows when would look better to the coach? Tell me one more thing, how many starting upper classmen at your High School do not play travel?

Seems i have ruffled your feathers and thats the point exactly , maybe this coach can make her even better than you have, give him a chance, she is not going to go through life and meet people thats going to have a big smile on there face when she is competing for something. THere you go about travel most high school coaches or travel coaches want there players to play there way becuase they think they are the best to teach them and it sounds like you feel the same way, and i never said dd sould start varsity just be varsity and trust me all parents want there dd to be varsity as a freshman it makes the parent look good , and as far as are high school team 2 seniors played winter ball 1 senior played travel and winter ,5 juniors and 3 soph have been together for about 6 years 3 years travel 2 years winterball so about 3 dont do anything.
 
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Seems i have ruffled your feathers and thats the point exactly , maybe this coach can make her even better than you have, give him a chance, she is not going to go through life and meet people thats going to have a big smile on there face when she is competing for something. THere you go about travel most high school coaches or travel coaches want there players to play there way becuase they think they are the best to teach them and it sounds like you feel the same way, and i never said dd sould start varsity just be varsity and trust me all parents want there dd to be varsity as a freshman it makes the parent look good , and as far as are high school team 2 seniors played winter ball 1 senior played travel and winter ,5 juniors and 3 soph have been together for about 6 years 3 years travel 2 years winterball so about 3 dont do anything.

harley78..have no idea who you are and I never like making negitive coments but I hope you were joking when you said "all parents want there dd to be on varsity as a freshman it makes the parents look good" This is the WORST attitude to have as a parent..... it should always be about the KIDS not the parents you should be PROUD of your DD no matter what she plays Freshman, JV or Varsity....its NOT how it makes YOU look but how your DD enjoys her HS years...jmho
 
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Amen 643dp,:yahoo::yahoo:

i just want my DD to play and have fun with her friends. As stated, i think she doesnt stand a chance to start varsity and i wouldnt want her to sit the bench on varsity when she could play JV.
 
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You know High school coaches must have some kind of machine that stops time, I mean for them to have all this time to meet with parents, meet with specialty coaches, meet with players, coach each kid the way their specialty coach is teaching them, learning all the different specialty coaches terminology just so each kid feels comfortable, coach the team, set the game schedule for 2 and sometimes 3 teams, set the practice schedule for 2 and sometimes 3 teams, take care of their field, take classes like CPR/First aid and when all that is done....they get to coach THEIR team!!!

Get a grip helicopter parents :)
 

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