Leave Team After Fall Ball?

Discussion in 'Softball Parent Discussions' started by sofballermom, Oct 3, 2017.

  1. sofballermom

    sofballermom New Member

    Is it ok to leave a team after fall ball? Or do you honor your commitment though your daughter and you as her parents are unhappy with the team?
  2. daboss

    daboss Well-Known Member

    If you have made an effort for a sit down to discuss the issues that has you concerned and still want a break from your current team then inform those in charge and leave. If your reason for leaving is because you believe you have received a better offer, have a sit down first with those in charge, then another with your family before deciding what to do.

    If you are not a good fit, talk to your daughter. If your daughter wants to go because she doesn't feel welcome I would side with your daughter. After all, it is for her remember? I would always reach out to the staff before leaving, even if it is to simply minimize any damage or hard feelings. I suggest doing it face to face. Texting is so impersonal.
    CoachBryan likes this.
  3. BruisedShins

    BruisedShins Member

    We had an issue one year where the coach made certain promises to us concerning the use of sub players. When it turned out that the promises weren't true in the first 2 fall tournaments, we went in a different direction. You shouldn't feel like you should have to "honor your commitment" if the team hasn't honored its commitment to you.
    04Dad122 likes this.
  4. allcorners

    allcorners Member

    Leave now.....save your money.....it doesn't get any better if you are unhappy.
  5. OHsoftball

    OHsoftball Active Member

    If she is unhappy, leave. This goes by way too fast to waste a whole year being unhappy. Be up front and honest with the coach about what is going on and why you want to part ways. Just beware.. because there are still those ones who will say you are an evil, terrible person for doing what is best for your daughter.
    lewam3 likes this.
  6. yossarian

    yossarian Member

    People leave for various reasons, both respectable and not, so it's hard to answer a vague question like this without knowing your situation. If you're going to do it, I'd say try to do it on good terms where you and the coach try to respect each other's positions, even if you disagree with each other.
  7. josie

    josie Member

    sometimes what you thought was a good fit for your daughter turns out not to be.....better to leave now, then be miserable all winter, spring, and summer.
    First2Third likes this.
  8. wow

    wow Active Member

    Everyone has an opinion on leaving and when to or not to leave. The fact is its a very personal choice. There are so many factors which go into the decision. Its never easy and yes, as already stated, its fairly certain there will be hurt feelings/bad opinions.

    Remember teams are about fit. Talk to the coach try and work whatever difference you have out and then see. But its a long summer if your not happy now. I think its safe to say we have all been in situations, which looking back, would have done things differently. That's life, its how you learn and grow from the experience that matters most.
  9. FastBat

    FastBat Well-Known Member

    If she's unhappy, I would leave. I would try to talk to the coach and explain your situation.

    If it's you not being happy, but she's happy, suck it up as the parent and stay. I've done it before. It's not always about PT, it's also about fit, fitting in with teammates/friends your dd has made and how she responds to the coaching.
  10. coachjwb

    coachjwb Well-Known Member

    Agree with others that it's OK to leave after talking with a coach but, as Jen said, make sure your daughter really wants to and it's not just you as parents projecting that on her. My experience was that 80% of the time it was the parents and not the player at all.
    Pioneer01 likes this.
  11. Run26

    Run26 Active Member

    Depends on why you are leaving. Are you leaving because she isn't getting enough playing time? If so, what have you done as a family to get her to improve? Have you asked the coach what you can do better to get into the lineup?

    You can always leave but make sure you are doing all you can to honor your commitment first.
  12. hammerhead20

    hammerhead20 Member

    Do whats best for your daughter. Do not even consider "doing all you can to honor your commitment". Most organizations will replace your daughter in a heartbeat if they can find someone better, no matter how dedicated she is or how hard she works. Her happiness is the only thing that counts.
    put_me_in_coach and lewam3 like this.
  13. Farmdad

    Farmdad Member

    Wow...this is a perfect example of what is wrong with our country. You do realize that honoring a commitment is one of the best things you can teach your daughter!?! Unless "happiness" was specifically mentioned as something your team would provide for your daughter in the contract, you might have to work on this one yourself. Do you have a "happiness" clause with your employer?

    Life is not fair...those that work the hardest and are the most dedicated don't always come out on top. What happened to teaching kids that they should take pride (be happy) with working hard, being dedicated and (God forbid) honoring a commitment?
    smathes likes this.
  14. mgardner

    mgardner Member

    Life lessons...
  15. manitoudan

    manitoudan Active Member

    So many variables . Have to have more info to give solid advice. Why are you considering leaving ?
  16. hammerhead20

    hammerhead20 Member

    Difference is my employer pays me. I don't pay it to show up. Also, I chose to work in a field I enjoy. If my employer was making my life miserable or treating me poorly, I am not honoring my "commitment" to it. I also believe in showing my daughter that hard work does pay off and her happiness comes first. If it becomes apparent that the organization isn't a good fit, players aren't being developed, daddy ball is overly obvious, things said at tryouts aren't followed through on or any number of other reasons, then I'm not teaching her to just grin and bear it. These days you have organization actively looking to replace players 2-3 months before their season actually ends. Committing to an organization that isn't committed to you doesn't teach you anything.
    wow and lewam3 like this.
  17. Farmdad

    Farmdad Member

    Sorry, you obviously have a lot of issues here...I think you've listed every excuse to quit that's ever been listed on these boards. What's the name of the organization you settled on, because I haven't found one yet where one of those complaints hasn't been raised by a parent. I'm willing to bet many organizations are even looking for replacements during the fall to replace those players that share your idea of commitment!
    Xrayaries likes this.
  18. daboss

    daboss Well-Known Member

    With all due respect, Farmdad, you are not comparing apples to apples here and that has been stated since this quote from you was added to the thread. If you buy a John Deere tractor from a dealership that continues to give you no service and ignores your needs for parts and information, are you telling me your loyalty would be the driving force to continue doing business with that same dealership? My guess is no.

    Paying a club to get to play with them for enjoyment and competitive exposure is not the same as joining a team at your local school for the privilege of representing the community and the school in a competitive team sport. The soul driving force for paying to play is recreational. They are, in most cases, purchasing the instruction of the game and the right to receive training and use their skills in competition for the soul purpose of recreation. If the training is not as represented or the club exists with a standard of morals well below your expectations, families have a right to move. Just as your disappointment with your dealership would drive you to go elsewhere families have the freedom to take their business somewhere else. In both cases this could come at a cost. The parents may have to forfeit their fees while your investment into a green piece of equipment may mean a loss if you choose to change brands. Both offer life lessons. Both indicate more homework and research should have taken place. Both can some times be compromised because a pre-existing reputation gave you a sense of false security when making a choice. Neither should expect loyalty and commitment if they fail to meet your expectations.

    I am as loyal and dedicated as I can be but even I recommended a face to face communication with staff to try and settle differences before quitting but would support a move if the answers to their questions did not suit them.
    CARDS and wow like this.
  19. sofballermom

    sofballermom New Member

    Thanks everyone for your responses, but I was more wanting to know if my daughter will be "black balled" if we make the change after fall season. As we all know the softball world is a small one. As her parents, her dad and I are pretty torn. We have never allowed one of our kids to quit a team before. Coaches, would you pass on a girl if you knew she had left a team after fall? She is 14u, 2nd year.

    WSHEELY Member

    I coach a 14U very competitive team and we had the same scenario happen to us. The coach they went to try out for (one of the largest organizations in Ohio/Pa) called me and asked about the player. So yes, coaches will reach out, but as an ADULT, I would never say anything negative about a player because ultimately the player has to be happy! She is currently playing on the new team. However, there probably are some coaches out there that are NOT ADULTS and will do what they can to tarnish your name. Be up front with the prospective new team and you will be just fine! Never lose sight of why we do this and that is because our DD's love to play the game!

    First2Third likes this.

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