NEW POLL -- If you are a non parent coach... OR do you have DD on your team?

[canofcorn]

Non-parent coaches can be equally guilty of "daddy ball." Just because they don't have a child on the team doesn't always mean they don't have blinders on with certain kids or are completely objective.

 

[Rose]

You can always count on this website to

 

[Rose]

Sorry---you can always count on this website to hit a topic that makes you comment on it. Our team was fortunate enough to get non parent veteran coaches this year. All kids involved are better off this way. As long as the talent is evaluated completely fair without bias, that is no question the way to go.

 

[BA824]

Buckeye Heat 00 has both a Head Coach and assistant coach that are non parents.

 

[WWolff]

Ok I think I'm blessed with some of the best parent coaches in Ohio/PA, but since your asking for non parent we have some of those too!


Outlaws Gold- Lee Richards
Maybe the best motivator I have ever seen in any sport and a awesome instructor.

Outlaws PA Premier- Larry Mercurio
No one better at helping the girls understand the game and by the way one of the best guy's I have ever met.

Outlaws Premier- Chris Bowers
In it for the kids runs a great practice and a great guy!

Asst. Coaches Brittany and Tim Duncan-
Brittany played big time D1 ball and can pass her life experiences and skills onto the girls. Tim what can I say many people consider him the best hitting coach in the state.

 

[honest1]

Just another HONEST1 perspective here. We all know that there are "daddy ball" coaches out there but please do not lump them all together just because they have a daughter on their team. If we are going to tell the TRUTH then a lot of good coaches and teams would not exist if their daughters didn't play. A lot of potentially great 'non-parent' coaches do not step up because of all of the parental headaches that are involved in being a head coach in our sport today...the parent coach has no choice but tolerate it! I happen to know a gentleman very well that has several daughters in which he has coached throughout the highest levels of travel fastpitch over a period of decades and he has NEVER...not even ONCE been accused of "daddy ball". I know...very HARD to believe...isn't it? I am sure that you don't believe it but it is the HONEST truth! You would think that there would be at least a few that would at least accuse him of it...right? No, in this case it is because being the coaches daughter is the worst position on his team. This coach chose to put so much time into everyone elses daughters goals that his daughters didn't get nearly as much as they could from him...the COST! He feared that accusation so much that he was the hardest on his own daughters. They are always the first to arrive and the last to leave the ball park. They were always the first to sit on the bench when they weren't playing well. They were the first to be pointed out for mistakes in practices so nobody could complain that their daughters were singled out. They were always the last to be considered for the position if a non daughter player was even close in the running due to the fear of the "daddy ball" accusation that is so loosely thrown around these days. Lets not forget the social price that is paid...tough to invite teammate over due to "appearances" and on the other side she isn't invited to the party cuz of dad. She has to hear people on the sidelines making disparaging remarks when it isn't going their way. Then these players that a dedicated coach has invested so much into over years become great and then what happens? The assurances of "loyalty" and "honesty" that parents promise if you agree to take on their daughter on goes out the window. A "collector" coach who does not have the same "values, morals or ETHICS" tells them all they want to hear about how great their daughters are and how much greener the pastures could be...they ARENT! They forget how and WHY their daughters are so "great" and then they revert backwards on their new team! The coach that gave them so much is left in the cold and feeling used but guess who is still there...their daughter. I think parent coaches deserve the MOST respect...much more than they get!!!

 

[Coach E.]

Coach E. - Non parent Head Coach of Wizards Elite 2000. However my first team Wizards Elite 94 I had a daughter on the team. Had the same 10 girls play for me for 5 yrs. They were all offered scholarships to play softball in college. Don't think they would have stayed with me if I was a daddy ball coach. Most coaches start off coaching their kids. I happen to have a passion for it and love to help people so I stayed with it.

 

[honest1]

That is a great point Coach E.. All of the "non parent" coaches that I most respect and admire started out coaching their daughters.

 

[wow]

The Bandits will use parents as assistants, but there Premier(Theres that nasty word) and DeMarini teams all have non-parent

I was referring to coaches in general. Not specifically to head coaches.

The 14's have dads, who are assistants, from right here in Ohio. Some of the best talent around bar none!http://www.thebeverlybandits.com/demarini/dem14-roster.html
also the 16 has a dad, http://www.thebeverlybandits.com/demarini/dem16-roster.html

But the Premier? Nope they have former players as coaches! That is the holy grail of coaching.

The thing the bandits do really well is they have a huge representation of former and college players on the coaching staff. These former players are able to relate and 'walk the walk" I think having a former player, from the collegiate and /or higher level, is compelling. Most dads, have NEVER played fastpitch!

Just because the coaches kid does not have God given ability does not mean the coach is not very good. Why do some kids get bad grades even though they may have the best teacher?

Parents, we all hope, are much more invested in their own kids then say a teacher. Also teachers usually have 20-30 kids in a class and don't have the time to spend one on one the way a parent would. A coach should be a subject matter expert, transferring knowledge is a critical skill for any coach. Then surrounding yourself with other great coaches to help with the goals of the organization. Natural ability? Well that's subjective. The better test is progression.

 

[honest1]

You may be shocked to find out that nearly all of those "holy grail" past college players turned coaches do it because of a "dad/mom" that started a fire in them, supported their dream and TAUGHT them the game of fastpitch softball. I could tell you many stories of All American fastpitch players turned coaches that had NO business coaching ANY team. Playing the sport does not make you a great coach nor does NOT playing make you a poor coach...look around...what do you see on the teams you think do it best?

 

[wow]

You may be shocked to find out that nearly all of those "holy grail" past college players turned coaches do it because of a "dad/mom" that started a fire in them, supported their dream and TAUGHT them the game of fastpitch softball. I could tell you many stories of All American fastpitch players turned coaches that had NO business coaching ANY team. Playing the sport does not make you a great coach nor does NOT playing make you a poor coach...look around...what do you see on the teams you think do it best?

Like I said in my first post... There is no "one type" its about the right fit. There is good and bad EVERYWHERE.. I am a advocate for dads/moms coaching, just not of daddy/mommy ball.. So we are saying the same thing.. and shocked? No. I expected any past player, turned coach, to have had a great support network behind them, pushing, teaching, and supporting them. Its no accident players turn coach.

 

[honest1]

Like I said in my first post... There is no "one type" its about the right fit. There is good and bad EVERYWHERE.. I am a advocate for dads/moms coaching, just not of daddy/mommy ball.. So we are saying the same thing.. and shocked? No. I expected any past player, turned coach, to have had a great support network behind them, pushing, teaching, and supporting them. Its no accident players turn coach.

Well said!

 

[WalkOffHR]

MANY dads end up coaching because they were great players, their kids are great players and they might know a thing or two.

How do great NON Dad coaches evolve. Read everything above and add the following....DD graduates and goes to college and dad wants to keep coaching. So relax....every dad coach out there is potentially a great non dad coach in the making.

 

[FastBat]

I could tell you many stories of All American fastpitch players turned coaches that had NO business coaching ANY team.

So now we are picking on former softball player's who become coaches? Can't we just agree many coaches, with varying levels of past experience, are possibly good or bad?

P.S.- For coaches who have previously played softball, it is another weapon in their coaching arsenal, and it depends on how they use their softball skills, I.E-running practices, game coaching, etc. But, I promise you, it CAN BE a tremendous advantage! Let's not deny that!

 

[cz fastpitch fan]

I personally am a parent coach, and I will say for the record that I love the fact that my team, my players and my assistant coaches have confidence in me as a coach to teach their children. The day may (and probably will) come when this team has excelled beyond my ability to be their coach. I hope to God that day comes, because my job will have been complete and I can sit back and enjoy watching the girls from outside the fence.
Until that day comes, I will do my best to get them to do their best.
I am thankful to be able to do it, physically as well as mentally and I strive to stay ahead of them by developing my knowledge at rate equal to or faster than they develop their skills. That's all I can do. One day they will be grown and gone and I will look back on these years and thank God I got to do this for the amount of time I did.
Chris Zaker
Ohio Glory '01

 

[honest1]

So now we are picking on former softball player's who become coaches? Can't we just agree many coaches, with varying levels of past experience, are possibly good or bad?

P.S.- For coaches who have previously played softball, it is another weapon in their coaching arsenal, and it depends on how they use their softball skills, I.E-running practices, game coaching, etc. But, I promise you, it CAN BE a tremendous advantage! Let's not deny that!

You are missing the point here...not trying to "pick" on them at all...some great ones out there. I am simply saying that based on my own experience I have seen some GREAT past players who cannot translate it into the coaching scene. Too many are hanging their hats on that when looking at a team these days...IMHO it is a BIG mistake! Most of the best coaches I know and have learned from have never actually played the game. Coaching is sorta like leadership...cant be taught...you either have the skill set and natural attributes or you don't.

 

[CARDS]

So now we are picking on former softball player's who become coaches? Can't we just agree many coaches, with varying levels of past experience, are possibly good or bad?

P.S.- For coaches who have previously played softball, it is another weapon in their coaching arsenal, and it depends on how they use their softball skills, I.E-running practices, game coaching, etc. But, I promise you, it CAN BE a tremendous advantage! Let's not deny that!

Unfortunately a lot of college players or just graduated players coaching need to start out at 10/12U and learn the other side of the game before getting 14u and above.
Too many just do not know how to manage finances, players , parents or get college coach connections...Most even lack coaching credentialing and struggle modeling instruction or even hitting infield...When I was doing the NFCA camps I was surprised at how many D1 big school players could not throw up a ball and hit it where they wanted too..

When we were 16 and 18U I know of 4 teams that folded before summer that had non parent college players or, just graduated college coaches that could not make the commitment and hung a team out to dry.

Now, We did benefit from the folding of a couple of these teams.

One team came to our tryout as a whole team...The lady that committed to lead them started at mid summer after another non parent coach walked away. She also changed her mind at the end of August after a couple tryouts.
Parents were hoping to find a solid team where several could still play together. I did offer to three ladies and they accepted and finished their softball career with me at 18U and a couple 23U seasons.

Older non parent coaches that are successful generally started as a parent coach 1st...I can think of several still coaching today that are successful in some of the top organizations in the state/country...

 

[Mykidcanplay]

The problem is that some parent coaches cannot separate coach and dad/mom. If you can't pull your DD off the field when she should be then you have a problem.

Agreed 100%

 

[Laser05]

I am a parent coach! But I have already added a Non-parent who is in his second year with us, and has control over pitchers and catchers. He also has a deciding factor on roster and other matters, and is 100% involved with line up and position matter. I love to coach but it is not about controlling what my kid does. No daddy ball here... She needs to earn her spot and time just like anyone else.

 

[coachtomv]

Great subject. Comes down to the type of coaching you think you are looking for. In every case you have to be able to buy in to that coach and support the team, that includes supporting the coaches and occasionally agreeing to disagree and have some patience. More often than not it can be the parents themselves that determine an experience for their kids and the team. I have been on teams that the parents completely destroyed any chance of the coaches being successful for their girls and on teams that had less talent maybe, but had a strong core of parents that kept the coaches energized by supporting them and buying in. Parents have to see that coaches are always learning also, especially at the early ages.

I think many miss some important details in softball and life. You have to learn how to follow before you can learn how to lead. No one falls out of bed one day and becomes a fully knowledgeably coach, a great many experiences have to happen to get there and you have to check your ego and open up your mind/eyes/ears and learn how to be taught to be able to teach.

I strongly believe that leaders/teachers/coaches have it in them from day one or they do not, but that can be shaped into something pretty special with the right approach and life experiences. Noone gets "there" by themselves, we all need help along the way and some luck.

Does not really matter if your a non parent, parent, ex player, played, never played, whatever? God given talent to play does not translate into being a leader or mentor, but if a natural leader is very good at what they teach, then that can be a game changer for sure.

I have two positive, but different, examples that have shaped me as a coach and my daughter as a player.

Non player - Howard Kobata. Howard is great at teaching the game in a very demanding way, yet if you spend any time with him, he cares about the girls and pushes them. His attention to details about the faster aspects of softball and not settling for "good enough" on the field as far as footwork and mechanics, shows in his passion to teach it.

Ex-player - Micaela Minner. Micaela has played D1 and professionally. While its obvious she can play, her calling is as a teacher and more importantly a mentor to her students. There are some things that I as a male, non player, coach can never give my players that ex players and women that Micaela can. The girls can see themselves in coaches like Micaela, if they are able to communicate/mentor them effectively. Without a doubt Micaela has influenced my daughter more than anyone else, she just gets her and her hitting has improved a ton as well as that confidence and swagger that Micaela brings in her passion for the game.

There are a great many more that I have learned from, both good and bad, parent/non-parent. I learned something from every coach i have worked with or watched and continue to try and add knowledge. Ever since we started at 10u with the Outlaws and Warren was one of the coaches, as our head coach left early on, I still use things I learned from Warren and that experience today. I'll continue to evolve as a coach, just as the players evolve on the field. Who knows if I'll end up being a non parent coach, but the fact that I am currently a parent coach does not factor in to my ability to try and develop each player I get the privilege to coach. My DD is a very strong willed kid and makes it easy for me to coach her and a team with her on it and I have zero issues letting our current coaches take her to task if need be, we do a good job of letting each other handle our kids and always do whats best for the team.

Parents need to stop trying to find a perfect fit and become a positive part of the entire process that will lead you way beyond this season. Surround your self with good, talented people, doing things for the right reasons, and success will follow.

My 2 cents.