Parent etiquette

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The last 5 years of my military career, I flew a Command & Control helicopter and during training and combat missions, I would have Commanders (Generals and/or Colonels) running the mission from the back of my helicopter. What I noticed the most was that when something went wrong, someone screwed up or something broke, those Commanders never once screamed at someone over the radio. They worked to correct the situation at hand first in a very professional manner and the corrective actions would be handled at the after-actions debrief. If someone screwed up, the associated butt chewing was handled behind closed doors and the person on the receiving end was well aware of what he/she was about to receive. It is all about mutual respect.

That was a trait that I immediately adopted and I use as a coach. There is absolutely no reason to launch-off on a kid playing a game. There is absolutely no reason for a parent to berate or pick-on any kid playing the game. This demonstrates a total lack of maturity. As a former site manager for a tournament, I would look for these type of incidents and "nip it in the bud." I do not expect an umpire to handle these types of situations, I expect the TD or a designated representative to handle them. This type of behavior effects how people perceive his/her tournament.

Maybe TDs should have a parent time-out tent at their tournament?

I sure do like the way you think.

 

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Should we tell him?

Nah, let him believe it really happens.

 

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Re: Parent/Player/Team etiquette

I know it was not a team we faced, but 2 of the teams we faced the coaches pulled a fielder out of the game during the middle of the inning. I understand wanting to win, but I am not sure I could pull a girl during the middle of the inning unless it was a pitcher.

One point I have to respectfully disagree with. Why is it ok to pull a pitcher that's not doing well but not another position player? JMHO

 

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Unfortunately, even parent interviews before offering a player a spot can't weed out all of the problems. All you can do is take a deep breath and choose not to participate and make a mental note in case they show up at your tryouts ;&;&

 

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My biggest pet peeve as an 18u player and a catcher (who's been around the game since i could throw a ball) is when parents get annoyed at calls (mostly balls and strikes) and they yell and do theire oohs and ahhhs and "come on!". I understand that they get into the game just as much as we do and they just want us to win, but I am behind that plate every pitch watching the strike zone get smaller and smaller and smaller. Sometimes it gets rediculous, and i admit sometimes it's hard for me to hold my tongue. but the main point is THE UMPIRE HAS CONTROL OF THE GAME AND YELLING ABOUT HIS CALLS WON'T HELP!! i try to be polite and ask my team parents to settle down though, aswell as the girls, and explain to them that they aren't helping. I honestly like when parents sit down the line a bit and i can't hear them as much haha. I'm sorry if i got a little off topic on this one lol

 

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Should we tell him?

"him" is a she....

So it doesn't get better at 14u?? I actually just had a conversation tonight with a good family friend who is a D1 coach about parent issues......this D1 coach was at Lasers nation this weekend and saw an incident that happened during a 14u game with a player who looked as if she was doing nothing wrong. From what the coach witnessed, it seemed to her that the Dad got upset with parents who were running their mouths in ear shot of the catcher (his dd?) during the game and this dad walked out and took his dd off the field.....

 

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"him" is a she....

So it doesn't get better at 14u?? I actually just had a conversation tonight with a good family friend who is a D1 coach about parent issues......this D1 coach was at Lasers nation this weekend and saw an incident that happened during a 14u game with a player who looked as if she was doing nothing wrong. From what the coach witnessed, it seemed to her that the Dad got upset with parents who were running their mouths in ear shot of the catcher (his dd?) during the game and this dad walked out and took his dd off the field.....

It really depends on if your 14U team is into the recruiting. If they are, then the parents have been warned at the beginning of the season about what to do and what not to do.

 

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"him" is a she....

So it doesn't get better at 14u?? I actually just had a conversation tonight with a good family friend who is a D1 coach about parent issues......this D1 coach was at Lasers nation this weekend and saw an incident that happened during a 14u game with a player who looked as if she was doing nothing wrong. From what the coach witnessed, it seemed to her that the Dad got upset with parents who were running their mouths in ear shot of the catcher (his dd?) during the game and this dad walked out and took his dd off the field.....

Wow. I will just repeat here what I posted today on another thread:

"Ted and JoeA were talking generally about this topic of parent conduct at tournaments and Joe said something that Ted really took to heart: when Joe was recruiting for his college, if he could identify a parent with a particular player by virtue of the parent's comments or other conduct, that was a red flag. I'm fairly certain that Joe is not the first college coach to have adopted that formula. And every time I've asked a Division 1 coach in NFCA Coaches College courses whether he or she failed to make an offer to, or even cut, a player because of the parents, the answer has been yes."

 

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My biggest pet peeve as an 18u player and a catcher (who's been around the game since i could throw a ball) is when parents get annoyed at calls (mostly balls and strikes) and they yell and do theire oohs and ahhhs and "come on!". I understand that they get into the game just as much as we do and they just want us to win, but I am behind that plate every pitch watching the strike zone get smaller and smaller and smaller. Sometimes it gets rediculous, and i admit sometimes it's hard for me to hold my tongue. but the main point is THE UMPIRE HAS CONTROL OF THE GAME AND YELLING ABOUT HIS CALLS WON'T HELP!! i try to be polite and ask my team parents to settle down though, aswell as the girls, and explain to them that they aren't helping. I honestly like when parents sit down the line a bit and i can't hear them as much haha. I'm sorry if i got a little off topic on this one lol

You aren't off topic at all. I hope that all parents on OFC read this and take it to heart. I have never understood how fans can believe that hassling the plate umpire will change calls to the team's benefit and how fans can't see that the natural impact of hassling is that the strike zone just gets smaller when the team is on defense.

 

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I guess i'm just hoping that as the girls get older, the parents will "mellow" out some and realize what an idiot they look like doing the negative cheering, harassing the coach, etc...

 

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Wow. I will just repeat here what I posted today on another thread:

"Ted and JoeA were talking generally about this topic of parent conduct at tournaments and Joe said something that Ted really took to heart: when Joe was recruiting for his college, if he could identify a parent with a particular player by virtue of the parent's comments or other conduct, that was a red flag. I'm fairly certain that Joe is not the first college coach to have adopted that formula. And every time I've asked a Division 1 coach in NFCA Coaches College courses whether he or she failed to make an offer to, or even cut, a player because of the parents, the answer has been yes."

Some people should pay extra careful attention to this. A word to the wise is sufficient. ;&

 

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Re: Parent/Player/Team etiquette

, but 2 of the teams we faced the coaches pulled a fielder out of the game during the middle of the inning. I understand wanting to win, but I am not sure I could pull a girl during the middle of the inning unless it was a pitcher. .

i pull my outfielders as soon as they throw the ball to the pitcher from the outfield, right in the middle of the inning. Did it twice this year, first 2 games, none of them have done it since and Now You Know why my outfield never throws the ball to the pitcher. Thats why we have CUTOFFS.

 

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Re: Parent/Player/Team etiquette

I know it was not a team we faced, but 2 of the teams we faced the coaches pulled a fielder out of the game during the middle of the inning. I understand wanting to win, but I am not sure I could pull a girl during the middle of the inning unless it was a pitcher.

I was watching an Alabama game on ESPN and the coach pulled the batter out of an at bat for not runner out a foul ball. Talk about sending a message. Betcha no one ever did that again on the team.

 

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My biggest pet peeve as an 18u player and a catcher (who's been around the game since i could throw a ball) is when parents get annoyed at calls (mostly balls and strikes) and they yell and do theire oohs and ahhhs and "come on!". I understand that they get into the game just as much as we do and they just want us to win, but I am behind that plate every pitch watching the strike zone get smaller and smaller and smaller. Sometimes it gets rediculous, and i admit sometimes it's hard for me to hold my tongue. but the main point is THE UMPIRE HAS CONTROL OF THE GAME AND YELLING ABOUT HIS CALLS WON'T HELP!! i try to be polite and ask my team parents to settle down though, aswell as the girls, and explain to them that they aren't helping. I honestly like when parents sit down the line a bit and i can't hear them as much haha. I'm sorry if i got a little off topic on this one lol

AMEN, AND THE CLOSE CALLS GO TO THE OTHER TEAM AS WELL..I have said that for years

 

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This past weekend I saw a parent from a team call an umpire a horrible, degrading name from the center field fence. He was ejected but was later let back in and was giving everyone he saw high fives like he was a celebrity. He was a total A$$!!!! His kind are the type that make the sport ugly but unfortunately there are many of them around.

 

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Let's change gears. How about coaches etiquette. Saw a coach appear to hit daughter

during game last week in Akron. Or what about coach talking trash about ex-player on

facebook. Sad part about this coach is also JV coach at local school northeast of Akron.

 

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Let's change gears. How about coaches etiquette. Saw a coach appear to hit daughter

during game last week in Akron. Or what about coach talking trash about ex-player on

facebook. Sad part about this coach is also JV coach at local school northeast of Akron.

Heard about the Akron incident. Story was the coach walked out on the field and hit the player after a base running error.

 

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Heard about the Akron incident. Story was the coach walked out on the field and hit the player after a base running error.

The coach has got to go!

 

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I just wanted to vent a bit and share a "poor example" I witnessed at Laser's 16U last weekend. While climbing the stairs (we all know this took me awhile) I was able to listen to a conversation between two adults which was riddled with profanities and finished up with "she couldn't catch a f***ing ball to save her f***ing life". I just ignored it, finished the climb, and went to my car to get mmy daughter some snacks. As I returned, I passed these same two people who had joined a third woman at the back of an SUV. To my shock and dismay, there they stood, chugging down cans of Coors Light. The foul mouthed women I followed up the stairs was also filling a "to go" cup wich I later saw her carrying around the ball park. What a fine example to set for 16 year old girls who are not only athletes but also new drivers.

 

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A time out tent for parents. lol. I'm still laughing about this one. Maybe the tourney director could make them stay there till claimed by their daughters after the game and I wonder how many would still be in the tent at dark. lol. Geez..........a time out tent............dang that's funny!!!!!!!!!!