Parent who yell and scream at Daughter

[swaves]

To the dad of one of the girls who forgot their belt and yelled and used every curse word in book in parking lot for 10 minutes grow up. People including my daughter heard you. Never should say some things you said, and not even talking about the cursing. Please get some help! Please delete if this is the wrong forum for this.

 

[Fairman]

I see the some of the same behavior even at the High School Level.

Why on earth does a parent think that it helps his kid to be yelling like this, making a spectacle of himself and embarrassing his daughter. It certainly can't help her performance. Sure they drive us nuts but its only a belt or a glove or she wore the wrong uniform top. So what. It won't be the last time. Give her a hug and wish her luck and let her worry if the pants will stay up. Get a perspective.

 

[freddieball]

Yea these parents that act like this needs to stay home. When their daughter is grown up and no longer putting those cleats on, they will probably regret this type of stuff. Parent's need to cherish the moment, because before you know it, its gone. I wish I could keep my 9yr old 9 forever.

 

[Bell-n-Rose]

I heard a mom drop the f-bomb about the coaches of her team this weekend. Even if you are upset and disagree, there's a time and place for discussion and when you say stuff like that you just look trashy.

 

[Coco Montoya]

I've coached girls for over 15 years and this is a true statement: "Girls have to feel good to play good!"

Screaming and hollering just won't work as girls are so sensitive.

 

[lewam3]

I've coached girls for over 15 years and this is a true statement: "Girls have to feel good to play good!"

Screaming and hollering just won't work as girls are so sensitive.

That is absolutely spot on Coco.

 

[fastjay]

i believe the quote from candrea is, 'boys have to win to feel right. girls have to feel right to win.'...and it is SPOT ON.

 

[Irish196]

Absolutely. While there are some girls that can take it, many can not and just shut down and stop listening. There are so many more effective ways to get your point (and disappointment) across.

Just like with coaching, girls will work so much harder (and actually play better) for coaches that they like and respect than ones that they are scared of.

 

[Bandits03]

Bill Beckham sent some coaches a great "Ted-Talk" video on youth sports. Some of you may have viewed it. It's great and it puts things into perspective.
I always tell my parents, "Above all, she's your little girl first." ...a softball player second. At some point, her softball career will end. She's your daughter forever.

 

[wow]

Bandit03- well said...I think at some point we all have had our moments.. But remembering they are our "little girls" forever is powerful!

 

[hpifm]

Why is it that some parents try to relive their sports lives through their kids? Most of them were probably poor athelites to say the least. Those that were pretty good at their chosen sport sometimes realize that encouragement works a whole lot better. Positive reenforcement and guidence will be remembered far longer than screaming and yelling. These are kids, and absorb "learning" like sponges. You can point out mistakes properly and they wil be thought about, rather than just tuned out.

 

[poden-smoden]

Instead of parents screaming at the kids, they should focus their energy on screaming at the coaches. Parents know so much more anyway. They should also take their aggression out on the umpires. Once at home they can assure little Suzi that she is doing nothing wrong, that it is anothers fault, and that she is D-1 material. This approach will surely develope them for the real world that is much more fair than youth sports!

 

[Hilliarddad3]

So it sounds like he is going to have his daughter hate him for life and the even hate the word softball more.......

It's only a game and sooner people realize it and that it doesn't matter in the big scheme of things, the better enjoyment they all will get out of it.

 

[nonparentcoach]

I jus luv watch in u play!

 

[Centerville_FP]

If softball is just a game to you and your daughter, sure, why bother yelling or setting expectations? I always viewed it as more. A great way for my daughters to learn to face adversity and overcome it. I yelled and screamed at them. It made them learn how to deal with someone expecting more and letting them hear it when they didn't meet expectations. My oldest just graduated from college, 4 year starter and softball paid for it. She watched other players fall apart at the first sign of disappointment from their college coach. It didn't bother her, she had heard it before. My second is a 2 year starter and softball is paying for it. Same thing, coach yells at her, she gets it, and moves on, no crisis. The number of girls they grew up playing with, that failed at the college level because they were always told it was the umpire, the coach, the parents or other players and couldn't handle criticism is pretty significant. I have 2 younger ones coming up and the 2 older ones give me crap for NOT yelling enough. It made them stronger. I think the real argument is drawing the line. It is true for females that if they aren't having fun, they won't play well. But if they are never criticized when they fail, they never learn to fight through it, to do better and to accept that no matter how hard they work or how well they do, someone will always criticize them...

 

[Chad Strahler]

Yelling doesn't help anyone in this sport. Giving constructive criticism is different than yelling. I think of people as ignorant when I see them yelling whether it be a coach or parent and especially in public. Coaching positive and negative isn't yelling at the girls. There are appropriate ways to teach the life lessons on how to deal with adversity.

 

[swaves]

If softball is just a game to you and your daughter, sure, why bother yelling or setting expectations? I always viewed it as more. A great way for my daughters to learn to face adversity and overcome it. I yelled and screamed at them. It made them learn how to deal with someone expecting more and letting them hear it when they didn't meet expectations. My oldest just graduated from college, 4 year starter and softball paid for it. She watched other players fall apart at the first sign of disappointment from their college coach. It didn't bother her, she had heard it before. My second is a 2 year starter and softball is paying for it. Same thing, coach yells at her, she gets it, and moves on, no crisis. The number of girls they grew up playing with, that failed at the college level because they were always told it was the umpire, the coach, the parents or other players and couldn't handle criticism is pretty significant. I have 2 younger ones coming up and the 2 older ones give me crap for NOT yelling enough. It made them stronger. I think the real argument is drawing the line. It is true for females that if they aren't having fun, they won't play well. But if they are never criticized when they fail, they never learn to fight through it, to do better and to accept that no matter how hard they work or how well they do, someone will always criticize them...

Just don't let them forget their belts. Also, no mind games and cursing!

 

[swaves]

The line was definitely crossed! As a mandated reporter, I should have called Children Services or taken things into my own hands to handle it! By the way this was 8u parent, lighten up a little!

 

[Centerville_FP]

Yelling doesn't help anyone in this sport. Giving constructive criticism is different than yelling. I think of people as ignorant when I see them yelling whether it be a coach or parent and especially in public. Coaching positive and negative isn't yelling at the girls. There are appropriate ways to teach the life lessons on how to deal with adversity.

So you never yell at your child? What happens when someone else does? She will miraculously be able to handle it or break down? I've seen women not be able to take criticism and that is because their parent was ignorant. I bet if little Suzie spilled your peach pale ale on your Sperry's, you'd be raising your voice!

Seriously though, everyone is different...I know what I have seen...I have seen success in what I have done and failure because of what others haven't...and my opinion is based on only that.

 

[Centerville_FP]

The line was definitely crossed! As a mandated reporter, I should have called Children Services or taken things into my own hands to handle it! By the way this was 8u parent, lighten up a little!

What is a mandated reporter? What convinced you not to call Children Services? Just wondering...