Playing time based on merit??

Mykidcanplay

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What ever happened to playing time based on merit? I'm about fed up with these coaches kids starting every game and batting in the middle of the lineup because they are "elite" players.. it's a bunch of garbage! Why bother playing travel ball and paying thousands of dollars a year to watch some coaches child fumble balls and whiff at the plate all summer long! My poor DD is about to be run out of this great sport because of self centered and incompetent coaches!

WHY DIDN'T I ACCEPT AN OFFFER FROM A NON-PARENT COACH !!
 

mike_dyer

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Brah...

I don't know what age group your kid plays in,,, but have you checked the teams needing players section of the forum?

Tryouts for this summer run from August 1st 2016 - July 31st 2017.
 

Mykidcanplay

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Btw Mike I'm not a brah, I wear one though :)

I'm aware Mike- that still doesn't help me for this summer though... Im not leaving the team in the middle of a season.
 

mike_dyer

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Im not leaving the team in the middle of a season.

Stay if you must, but if what you are saying is true, and I have no reason to believe that it's not, it sort of sounds like they have left you.
 

Mykidcanplay

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What's frustrating is my daughter's average is .440 with a .675 obp.
 

mike_dyer

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I'd like to add that having a parent who is a coach or who is on the board isn't the only way to superstardom in all cases. If your dad goes to the VFW even though he wasn't in the military it makes you better in some towns. :cool:
 

mroby5172

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Don't lump all parent coaches together. I have coached both of my kids and they play the position that best helps the team succeed and that includes being a bench player.
 

coachjwb

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Lol ... love those Domingo videos ... they'd even be funny if they weren't so true!
 

daytonfp

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Those @sshat parent coaches give the rest of us a bad rep. I'm sure my daughter can tell you that there is no "daddy ball" on this team. I probably go too far the other direction so there is no way I could be accused of it.
 

CARDS

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Those @sshat parent coaches give the rest of us a bad rep. I'm sure my daughter can tell you that there is no "daddy ball" on this team. I probably go too far the other direction so there is no way I could be accused of it.

My experience has been "most parent coaches" that play a top schedule seem to demand more of their kids...Their kids also generally do more (at least mine did)...Setting up practice fields, dragging or raking fields for practice, keeping the equipment trailer organized, loading and unloading the trailer and that before practice and after practice work and other workouts... Now I did have players that showed up early and stayed late to get extra work and help put stuff away but DD was there everyday to help me help the team get better...
Now doing this did not guarantee playing time... My DD had to work her @ss off and if I thought she was not cutting it I removed her sometimes over the objection of my parents or other coaches.

I could name "many" very good parent coaches that is still coaching or coached when we played from SW Ohio... I cant think of one that would be on the bad list but there most likely were one or two...I can think of several non parent coaches that got themselves into trouble though and the percentage of coaches with issues would be far greater than that of parent coaches...
 
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wow

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I agree with Cards. Daddy ball has a tendency to become very diminished as you get older. But here is the trade off. I would rather a coach be committed to a group of kids when the going get tough rather than one who does not have a kid in the game and just up and quits because the stress is too high.

Here are the facts. Most coaching positions are not paid. If a dad, who only wants the best for his daughter, puts together something special he has to assume all the responsibilities. This is everything from schedule, setting up insurance, paperwork for turneys, communication with parents, etc. Its not a EZ gig. All dads get involved because of their kids. Nobody says " Heck I needed more stress in my life, I want to deal with delusional parents. Let me go coach a travel team!" Yes there are exceptions. Kids go off to college, grandparents coach, you come down from 18u and want to do it all over again, etc. so non parent coaches do coach, however they are rare. The point is parent coaches are as much a part of the game as the girls are.

I think more parents should thank the coach for what they are doing, rather than be critical because of daddy/mommy ball. Its EZ to be critical. EVERY parent should do two things before the first day of 10U 1. Spend a weekend at 18U and observe. watch the kids, watch the parents, watch the coaches. See how calm everyone is? See how much fun they are having? See no crazy parents yelling? 2. Become a hotel mom/dad. Make reservations for a group of 11-12 families and see how enjoyable that nonsense is. That is only a taste of the logistical nightmare a coach goes through each weekend at a tourney.

I digress to a quote from the movie A few good men 1992. Adapted for Fastpitch

Son, we live in a world that has softball games, and those games have to be coached. Who's gonna do it? You? You, (insert any parent)? I have a greater responsibility than you could possibly fathom. You weep for your DD, and you curse the coach. You have that luxury. You have the luxury of not knowing what I know. That losing this game, while tragic, probably made the team better. And my existence, while grotesque and incomprehensible to you, help these girls. You don't want the truth because deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me to coach, you need me to coach. We use words like fastball, commitment, loyalty. We use these words as the backbone of a life spent coaching something we love. You use them as a punchline. I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the leadership of the coaching that I provide, and then questions the manner in which I provide it. I would rather you just said thank you, and went on your way, Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a clipboard, and stand at a base. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you are entitled to.
 
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absolute59

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WOW: Good stuff. As a parent coach I appreciate your sentiments. As the staff member responsible for collecting money selecting the schedule, arranging hotels, arranging scrimmages and friendlies and organizing a 24 team charity tournament the amount of time involved is incredible. I am not complaining mind you just pointing out that there is a lot more involved than just filling out a lineup card on weekends

Moreover as others have stated on our team the coaches kids sit as much or more often than others and are subject just as others players are to being dropped in the lineup when their hitting (or lack of hitting) warrants.
 

trcyknny7

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I feel your pain. But like another poster stated, don't lump all coaches into one bucket. Don't know your team and situation and don't want too. But, what your facing is why it is so important to ask good questions during tryouts.
 

heater

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My thoughts are that you should have a sit-down discussion with the coach. If your child is not getting the playing time, you could ask them if they would mind if you explore other options. Maybe her style does not fit the team and it may make their job easier if she would go to another team. Communication is always the best solution. Keep it civil and stick to the facts. There are plenty of teams that are looking for players all year long. You may not get your fees back, but it may be worth it for you to get in a better situation for the entire summer. I tell you this as someone that has been on all sides of the fence; a coach who coached my kid and had good discussions with parents, and a parent that had good discussions with the coach. It has always worked out well. Good luck with whatever you decide to do.
 

VE_05

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Like heater said communication is best but timing is also key. Don't go to the coach with an attitude and don't do it after a tournament where your child did not get to play. I suggest calling and setting up a meeting. Hopefully the coach doesn't have too big an ego and is willing to mission. You both might agree to just part ways.
 

FastBat

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Don't lump all parent coaches together. I have coached both of my kids and they play the position that best helps the team succeed and that includes being a bench player.
It doesn't matter if it's a parent or non-parent coach, the problem really is any coach that plays their favorites. To take it a little further, wouldn't polite player's or aggressive player's be considered favorable characteristics a good player might possess? Even if they aren't the most athletic player on the team?


What's frustrating is my daughter's average is .440 with a .675 obp.
How old is your dd? How do you even have these stats? I take game changer and I couldn't tell you how many at bats my dd had at her last tourney a few weeks ago. I think parents can get way too wrapped up in stats. I'm not saying she's not great. I'm just saying if you have to break out stats, maybe you should just be open minded and watch the entire team closely on the field at the next game.
 

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