Random Coaches Stalking Your Daughter on Social Media

[SoftballRN]

Has anyone else had some random coaches asking to "friend" or "follow" your daughters on their non-softball related social media? Apparently said coaches are on the prowl to poach girls off teams. What happened to talking to the parents, letting you know you see something great in their daughter, asking questions?? Slinking around a teenage girl's (who you don't even know) social media is just disturbing.....and creepy! Parent, check your girls accounts, be aware!

 

[wow]

I heard of a coach getting ahold of a players phone number.. Its something all parents should be aware can and does happen. Be involved. There is NEVER a time a coach should be contacting a player without a parents knowledge. Stalking on social media? Thats a gateway to a very bad place.....

 

[Mad Hornet]

Matter of fact there's a coach stalking our players and moms. I thought I was the only one who thought it was creepy and inappropriate. Guess not.

 

[WWolff]

Matter of fact there's a coach stalking our players and moms. I thought I was the only one who thought it was creepy and inappropriate. Guess not.

I know there is a coach/organizational that will reach out to minors on Facebook to try to get them to quite and come to his team/org. Not sure if that's who you guy's are talking about, but he has done it to a lot of kids that I know of.

 

[longball00]

I can see this getting ugly really fast!

 

[Mad Hornet]

I know there is a coach/organizational leader in Western PA that will reach out to minors on Facebook to try to get them to quite and come to his team/org. Not sure if that's who you guy's are talking about, but he has done it to a lot of kids that I know of.

That's not the guy but I do know someone else who runs an org who brought one of my mom's chocolate. LMAO!!!!

 

[WWolff]

That's not the guy but I do know someone else who runs an org who brought one of my mom's chocolate. LMAO!!!!

LMAO I would not have a clue who would do that.

 

[longball00]

That's not the guy but I do know someone else who runs an org who brought one of my mom's chocolate. LMAO!!!!

You have to give him credit for that one! Style points!

 

[SoftballRN]

Well....these two coaches were definately not that "classy".

 

[Lasers 04 Coach Mike]

I have had coaches and parents from other teams approach my parents and ask if their family is happy on the team? Or, if they see one of my players sitting, ask the parent why their daughter is sitting; "She is too good for that"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Sneaky, but noted!! Those type of actions will follow a coach and team for sure. When teams and coaches take this stance to find players, it is all about "Him or Her and a team Win" and not the development of players, ethics, and morals. Put the ethics and morals in front of the "Win"; "walk that talk" and good things will be the result! I will always have a conversation with the parent after an attempted snake bite and simply ask this question; Would you want to have your child play for a team that has this type of ethical teaching? Just my thoughts

 

[Captain_Thunder]

I think there are a lot of people who will try to get players this route......And all is OK...........
Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot & it happens to them - They become saints......LMAO
There are a lot of pots that need to say hello to Kettles out there.......SMH

 

[Louuuuu]

Or, if they see one of my players sitting, ask the parent why their daughter is sitting;

"Um... because our coach wants to make sure his best players aren't exhausted by the final game of the weekend. Go away, poacher. You're bothering me."

 

[WWolff]

I think there are a lot of people who will try to get players this route......And all is OK...........
Yet, when the shoe is on the other foot & it happens to them - They become saints......LMAO
There are a lot of pots that need to say hello to Kettles out there.......SMH

If you talking about contacting minors it is not OK! I would have a serious problem with a coach contacting my minor daughter on Facebook or some other type of social media. We would definitely have a little conversation.

Now if your talking about talking to the parents that is not what this thread is about, but I would bet the majority of the coaches on here have said something to a parent at one time or another.

 

[longball00]

If you talking about contacting minors it is not OK! I would have a serious problem with a coach contacting my minor daughter on Facebook or some other type of social media. We would definitely have a little conversation.

Now if your talking about talking to the parents that is not what this thread is about, but I would bet the majority of the coaches on here have said something to a parent at one time or another.

Agree 100%. Every coach out there has played the poacher role at least once, that's part of softball. But, contacting my 13yo DD on a social media site without my knowledge would end up worse than poking a sleeping bear. You can guarantee we will have words before Chris Hansen and To Catch a Predator find you!

 

[SoftballRN]

I will tell you the only way we found out was because 1 girl questioned it. After that several other girls said these guys had requested them as well. The parentd had no clue! Creeps! Needless to say, there was a long conversation about social media.

 

[CoachTEA]

Not on social media, but I like to follow players on HS conference websites. I follow kids on my team/organization, former players, competitors, etc. I think it is fun to see these players get recognition. Going to Twitter, Facebook, SnapChat, Instagram, etc. --- not cool. Heck, if I have to text a player I prefer to copy Mom/Dad.

 

[Captain_Thunder]

If you talking about contacting minors it is not OK! I would have a serious problem with a coach contacting my minor daughter on Facebook or some other type of social media. We would definitely have a little conversation.

Now if your talking about talking to the parents that is not what this thread is about, but I would bet the majority of the coaches on here have said something to a parent at one time or another.

The OP was discussing contacting girls on social media.....But the thread turned to Parents being contacted & even given presents........
That is what my response was in reference to.....Many, many have contacted parents already committed to teams with promises & such. While they do it - it is OK in their book. But when the role is reversed, these same coaches become Saints, as if they didn't do the same thing! That is what I find hilarious & very sad.
Practice what you Preach!

As far as Social media goes - I totally agree that ALL parents need to keep track of what their teen children are involved in!

 

[WWolff]

The OP was discussing contacting girls on social media.....But the thread turned to Parents being contacted & even given presents........
That is what my response was in reference to.....Many, many have contacted parents already committed to teams with promises & such. While they do it - it is OK in their book. But when the role is reversed, these same coaches become Saints, as if they didn't do the same thing! That is what I find hilarious & very sad.
Practice what you Preach!

As far as Social media goes - I totally agree that ALL parents need to keep track of what their teen children are involved in!

Got ya. As far as coaches talking to parents it happens, it will continue to happen, and it will always happen, and a lot of times it's the parent reaching out to the coach themselves not just the coach reaching out to the parents.

 

[WalkOffHR]

I assume we are talking about very young girls under the age of 15. I am also assuming that the motives involved by the contacting coach are strictly to poach players and nothing more sinister. Realistically an adult contacting a player is probably far less effective at that age than say, having an existing star player from the coach's team reach out via social media and try to recruit said player. I know that happens all the time. Especially toward the end of the summer around tryout time.

Anyway DD is now 17 and she emails, texts and talks to college coaches regularly. I don't think twice about it. But I guess I would probably feel differently if she were 13 and some coach from an unknown team randomly contacted her on social media. I guess that begs the question, what if the coach reaching out to DD is highly regarded and from one of the top travel organizations in this part of the country and is simply inviting her to tryouts after the season after seeing her play at a tournament? Would that be creepy? Is there an age where it is no longer an issue? Does gender of the coach make a difference? Just curious what others think

 

[BulldawgsDirector]

1 time I contacted an 18 year old senior on FB I knew wasn't playing for anybody before college and my message was simple: "If you are interested, have mom or dad contact me at xxx-xxx-xxxx." I felt a little weird even doing that but knowing 1) she was 18, 2) she wasn't committed to anyone and 3) I wanted to talk to the parents made me feel it was OK. Mom called me and we discussed, she opted not to play for anyone still, end of story. Had she not replied she would never have heard from me again.

But, anyone below 18, forget about it. My personal philosophy.

disclosure: I am certain I am not the coach in this topic.