I have to agree with yocoach, your post seems to be fishing for support of a decision that you have already made. Let's put that part of your post to the side and try to address the situation itself.
Don't read anything derogatory into my response as there is no intent. I'm simply trying to be relatable in the only way I can think of in the moment. From my old perspective, you have a baby trying to coach babies. Again, I'm 68 with a full adult history of coaching under my belt so anyone under 50 can be considered a baby to me. lol. I don't care if the coach played college. I don't care if she's ever played at all. To react negatively to a child or her family because they considered instruction from another is simply juvenile in nature.
It truly sounds like inexperience. I hope this coach doesn't work as a vendor on the midway at a county fair if she's has any ill feelings about a 10 yr old wanting to try something different. Those kids will jump out of your line and go to the next walking taco vendor in a heartbeat! Oops, back on subject.
You have to at least try here. You have to meet with the coach privately and find out if there is truly some animosity or are you being sensitive-----perhaps feeling a little guilty------about having the thought cross your mind. The coach may not be aware she's putting out such a vibe and may claim that's not her intent. Clear the air. Do it before making a decision to simply leave the team. Don't leave with doubts. Now, be open-minded to how she reacts to any of the conversation. First of all, I don't see this as a playing time issue since you already mentioned there's only 9 on the team. However, in this case and in life in general you need to learn how to read people. You need to know what they mean when they say it and how to understand what their mannerisms mean from their actions.
Example; If she answers you with she doesn't care if you guys go elsewhere for hitting instruction, yet she follows up with something that defends herself, you can probably assume she is feeling negative about being judged. Dr. Phil refers to this as the "But" syndrome. They follow their sentence by saying something BUT this is what I really mean. You can learn a lot about people when you study the people and not look at things with blinders on.
A solid and open-minded coach will be confident enough to encourage you to go try somebody else. I do it with pitchers all the time. My 3rd year students and families are encouraged to go to clinics or other instructors and see for themselves what is out there. Some coaches have better luck getting thru to kids. The best travel team I ever coached I had 7 assistants. we were all on the same page but had different unique ways to teach fundamentals to the girls. I did not care who connected with the kid. My only concern was the kid finally understood and reacted to the instruction. All of us benefited from it.
2 things need to happen in your case. You need some reassurance that everything that can be done is happening. The coach needs to look inside and say can I be confident enough in what I am teaching to accept them going to somebody else? Can I accept a different instructor can make this player better?
If another coach makes a positive difference, your team coach needs to learn how. That way everyone benefits from the experience. If your coach can't accept it or tries to defend her methods over another's, That's an ego getting in the way and limiting the growth your coach needs. If this surfaces, you need to quietly move on.
Lastly; you need to accept if going elsewhere doesn't help that it might simply be your daughter is either too young to develop her skills or simply not capable of playing any part of the game to your expectations. Personally, with a player under 10 yrs old, I would say she's simply not mentally or physically capable yet and needs more time. It's too early to set a bar for her. It's not too early for you to hone your people skills in preparation of the next 8-12 years in a cruel world.
