Undermining your softball program, who’s at fault?

[Rerun]

I’m sure many of our coaches, parents, players and even organizations have been undermined. The sad thing is, it is usually done by outside influences; their own coaches, parents, players and other organizations as examples. It causes so much turmoil for everyone involved.

What experiences have you had?

I’ve experienced it from about every direction.

Parents & Player

Once when I was the Head Basketball Coach, I had a parent who believed his son was the next Michael Jordan. However, the kid had anger and attitude problems and would get into fights not only against the opponent, but his own team mates. I will agree the kid was my best player, but in order to get a handle on the situation he was benched. Once I did this, the parent went to the AD complained and made false accusations towards me. I was called into the AD's office and asked to resign because they had complaints of me screaming at the players, using foul language and touching a player or pulling his arm and causing injuries to said player. The funny thing is, earlier in the year, I had asked the AD to remove the player from the program, told him he was a problem and I couldn’t control his actions any longer. It's true, I did grab his shirt and pull him off of his own team mate of whom he broke his nose. Unfortunately, the kid never got the help he needed. I was removed two weeks later as the head coach and the team had the worst season in 30 years.

Coaches & Outside influence

I had two really great softball players that were both DI caliber players. They were approached all season long by the same organization's coaches after most, if not all of the tournament games they played. Both were under the radar by many DI coaches and I had a great relationship with the other DI coaches interested in them. However, the other organization's coaches kept telling them that they could guarantee they could get them full rides at college if they came and played for them. So they left my program. Well neither one of the girls played at college. I even tried to help the girls once they contacted me and asked for help to find a college. I contacted my network of college coaches and the two schools I knew was high on them told me they weren’t interested any more since they had seen them playing in tournaments. I asked them to elaborate and the one coach said she witnessed (girl A) throwing the bat after she struck out looking and told the umpire he needed new glasses. Then later on, she said (girl A) was refusing to lay down a bunt by her Coach then struck out. The other (girl B) simply went down hill and ended up playing for three more teams over the rest of her travel ball career. It seems that those organizational coaches that tried so hard to get her, found someone better and she rode the beach almost all season as a backup player. From what the college coaches told me that had seen her playing , said she was nothing close to what she was when she was younger.

Outside influence by organizations

I was involved with a program that had the founder of another organization working all summer long to get the team to leave it’s current organization and join his organization. It worked. They left and joined his organization. In the long run I believe this caused the original organization to slowly lose ground and with it, the chance for many young lady’s to get started in travel ball.

I believe undermined teams or organizations are a bad thing and don’t think individuals that stoop to this level should ever be trusted. I truly believe organizations that undermine other organizations are the lowest of the low.

I believe Coaches that undermine other teams are a close second and Parents a distance third.

 

[daboss]

Bad eggs come in all sizes, all colors, and are hard to tell at times if the shell isn't already cracked. Problem coaches and problem parents deserve each other. Some times the kids are collateral damage but most of the time they are simply an extension of their environment.

I used to have many sleepless nights to a point it was having an effect on my health. I had an old coach tell me once to remember "You can't save them all." Once I bought into it I got better. I don't feel as if I'm giving up but instead accepting what is really the truth.

The truth is; it's not my place to tell parents how to raise their kids. Unless I see physical abuse I have to respect the beliefs and parenting methods of others even if I disagree. I feel there are times that simply living and demonstrating a pure way of living is all I can do as a mentor. At least if they leave on a journey in life away from what I offer they may look back after failure and realize it was a mistake. They may not come back and say they were sorry (even tho it would welcomed by me). Some times they are embarrassed on how things transpired and can't muster the courage. It's okay if they learn from it and seek out a better path similar to the one that had their best intentions at heart. People can change for the better but they need to recognize mistakes and make better choices going forward.

Coaches are mentors and educators first. The stories you share are a reflection of how you care and not a story of disappointment. Thank you for what you do.

One of the many points of interest in your share is how the truth rings loudly "There's no "I" in in team." College coaches know the importance of team chemistry and are not going to waste their time with a player that can't conform and by into a total team concept. Once a player puts on a uniform they become a part of a much larger picture. Leadership is crucial and the player should be a reflection of her leader and the uniform first--------not last.

Loyalty and honesty are essential in a team environment for both player and coach. Politics can disrupt the best of intentions.