dramatic confrontations

[Switchhitter]

How would y'all handle a couple of 12 u teammates who are getting into dramatic confrontations during practices?

 

[Blazer]

It depends, are you a coach or a parent?

 

[daboss]

How would y'all handle a couple of 12 u teammates who are getting into dramatic confrontations during practices?

The following may appear sexist but I assure you I don't mean it that way. My experience when coaching girls is truly been different than coaching boys. What you will read are my observations in life and from tips from my education into being a well-round coach as shared by mentors in the sport. This is my disclaimer.

This is much easier to handle with boys. Girls???? Well, tread lightly.

I respect women like you can't believe. Like many men in the world, we know so little about women. I am learning everyday. To be honest, counseling with each one individually to find out the true root of the problem with each other is the beginning to try and end the feud. Even then, it may not be a cure all. It takes in-depth counseling.

When I mention counseling, I'm not talking about a simple pull them behind the dugout and asking "What's the problem?" I'm talking about a lengthy sit down, perhaps many sit downs with each one. It will be good for both girls and necessary, but this is a part of the coaching job that most male coaches roll their eyes and think this is not what I signed up for.

Yes coach, when you coach girls it is a part of the job description.

Female coaches seem to have an easier time addressing the issues because they understand better. They can relate. Girls are more receptive to open up to a woman. If you are a male coach the only thing I will say is; by the time you get to the end of you coaching girls gig, you'll have a much better understanding of women. Your relationship with the women in your life closest to you will be better. They will love you even more than they do now. lol.

The other thing you can do as a coach is approach the parents and have a sit down with them individually. Ask questions first. It might help you get a better understanding of the issues needing attention. Address the problem with each family individually, then if needed include your young player with her family. Finally, if needed, have a sit down with both families and their shining stars to talk things out. If you get lucky, the parents will take care of it. If not, it'll be up to you.

Keep in mind if this group sit down transpires that you will probably be more of an umpire or referee than a team leader. Let them hash things out while observing and you simply keep them on topic when needed and call it off it it goes badly. Give them some time and space to have their moment. In today's world they actually have titles for people that do this kind of thing call "Life Coaches" while many of us old school coaches always accepted it as part of the job.

Keep in mind, simply saying "I told you so" doesn't fly with girls. They need to know "Why" to accept change.

 

[Mad Hornet]

The Behavior should not be tolerated. No excuse for it. First a warning. Then consequences. It's not fair to the rest of the team.

 

[Xrayaries]

From my experience as a father a coach of many sports. Girls always have a reason to be mad. Boys typically get into spur of the moment arguments. To find out from a 12U player you need to ask the parents so you get some background. Just remember they are going to give you an inflated story to make their child look innocent ... Once you have more details it's pretty easy to start putting the whole story together. Girls can be very vindictive and this spat is likely going to last even after you talk to them. The most popular gripe is when one player is really cocky, but she is not as good as her attitude would lead you to believe. The other girls see this and the most vocal one ends up trying to bring her down a notch. The heat grows if she didn't get the hint. I'm sure their friends and on the team know what's going on. Communication can prevent this from starting. Your leaders will have an opinion.

 

[DanMaz]

How would y'all handle a couple of 12 u teammates who are getting into dramatic confrontations during practices?

I think we would need way more details to really give you more detailed direction. But i remember i had a girl "disrupting" the team and players were getting mad. But it wasnt softball... it was her personal family issues she was going thru and nothing directed toward her teammates was done purposely so, luckily i recognized it and had a talk with her and mom.... told them to take a break for a few games and lets revisit softball later and take care of you first. So, it can be one of a million things so just dont jump to conclusions until you get more information and talk to both players, possibly parents and then go from there. Finding a solution is the best thing you can do.

 

[Bucket Dad]

How would y'all handle a couple of 12 u teammates who are getting into dramatic confrontations during practices?

Convince them to decide against doing that! Make certain that the entire team is made aware that drawing negative attention draws negative consequences and then hold the entire team accountable for the missteps of the few.


Once they know that drawing negative attention brings negative consequences they will begin to make better choices and will also police their team mates better in an effort to avoid drawing negative attention to the team.

Set aside the last 20 minutes of practice to run the team long enough to make certain that every athlete on the team runs out of gas and then squeeze them a bit longer. Indian runs are great for this. Keep the group together and keep them running. Make certain there is no doubt in anyone’s mind as to why the team is running extra that day.

You already know that they would prefer to spend the last 20 minutes playing kickball or dodgeball than they would running wind sprints or Indian runs.

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