Discussion in 'General Softball Discussions' started by JuiorB78, Nov 19, 2019.

  1. JuiorB78

    JuiorB78 New Member

    I have a 13 year old daughter that I have been trying to get to play multiple sports but for the last couple years has refused to participate in other sports. Recently I feel like she is getting burned out fast. In the past years I have done what I feel like was the best way to handle her. I quit coaching, She joined a travel team with a coach that has no kid on the team, No more bad car rides home (I smile and take her for pizza and ice cream), and I have even let her have a serious input on which instructors she is using. Her heart just isnt in it much anymore it seems and she has potential. I know I am a dad and am biased but when given the opportunity and she is focused she becomes a game changer. Any advice for handling a teenage daughter in this situation is appreciated. Thank you in advance
  2. daboss

    daboss Well-Known Member

    You are the parent. You are pilot in command. I suggest you look at this issue from every angle and form a list of questions you can ask your daughter to get a better grasp of why she now acts sluggish to the everyday grind and the reluctance to explore other options. Perhaps you can get to the root of the issue and if needed take appropriate parental action. Hopefully she'll see you have her best interest at heart and will open up to you. Hopefully she'll agree to a course of action the 2 of you can agree upon.

    13 yrs old is a difficult age for a young girl. It could be she has lost the luster for the game and she simply doesn't want to hurt your feelings. This game has brought the 2 of you very close and she might be afraid of losing that. It could be a teammate situation such as an old friend now gone or simply not bonding with the others like it was once. Maybe there's a bullying situation. Might be feeling left out. Perhaps some other parents are an issue. These things and more could be a factor. Maybe it's you and any negative interaction she's responding to because of things you may have said or done. Regardless, the odds are she's unhappy at some level. It could be the difficulty of accepting she's an average player now that she's entered a more competitive world. This is due to the advancement of the skill level of the other girls.

    Perhaps one of the motivating factors of why she shunned other sports is because at a young age she was extremely successful in this sport compared to the others around her. It simply could have been her moment in the spotlight. She may have thought this was her calling. It obviously had your attention. Why else would you have gone thru all this?

    Talk to her. Get somebody else to talk to her but communicate before reacting.
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2019
    Chardon Storm and CARDS like this.

    SOFTBALLS14 Active Member

    This is also a good time to just take a break ....no nothing , let her body and MIND recover for a few months .... just be a kid, hang out with friends.... do nothing softball..... then in Jan..... see what she wants to do then.
    Have a sit down and see what her goals are for college or trade school, and any sports ..... there is always golf, archery, and bowling that all give scholarships too....
    Sometimes distance will make the heart grow back to the sport that you both love ..... Good Luck!
    Chardon Storm and daboss like this.
  4. CARDS

    CARDS Active Member

    What is her peer group/friends doing? Honestly, who you choose to associate with as a teenager does make a difference.

    If she is only friends with softball teammates during softball activities her friends outside of spotball activities may have an influence on her decision to do other things than sports. That is not necessarily bad depending on what other activities they fill their time with.
    As Daboss said 13 is a tough age with peer pressures at school, school in general and of course boys. Ages 13 to 16 is where there is the largest drop off in ladies in sport occur, some due to burn out but most leave to pursue other interest.
    Last edited: Nov 23, 2019
    Chardon Storm and daboss like this.
  5. Rotte

    Rotte Member

    Not a fan of the phrase "BURN OUT"
    Kid's do loose interest. Especially teenagers.
    It's not always something you can change, and forcing the issue will case more problems, than it solves.
    I 100% support the take some time off & see approach. If she doesn't miss it, then time to move on from it.

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