Discussion in 'Coaches' Corner - Coaching Softball' started by dennis_golic, Jul 14, 2010.
arent all girls just a little learning disabled, selective hearing or ADHD? just sayin
Not until they get married!!!! :lmao:
Then it's the husbands turn... What??
Wow! Fortunately I haven't been directly involved with coaches who act like some of these posts.
Yeah I am to or I just might be in jail.
what about a parent yelling at a coach or other parent. have even heard of a parent bashing another player on the team, because "My dd is better"
There is NOTHING worse than to hear a parent bash a fellow teammate just to make their dd look better.
I witnessed a coach put a 10U girl into tears at a tournament over a minor base running mistake. Completely embarrassed her. She was literally crying for 2 innings. That is how you wreck an athletes love of the game. You can teach without demeaning especially at the younger levels. On the other end, if my daughter is screwing around at practice or at an inappropriate time, I have no issue with the coach yelling at her.
I'm stealing a quote, and can't remember who told me this........ "Girls have to feel good to play good; Boys have to play good to feel good." There are obviously exceptions and some girls need a swift kick in the ass, but each young lady has a different button that needs to be pushed to get the most out of them. If whatever your coaching style is doesn't make them feel good (confident) about themselves, you will never get the full potential from them.
I agree there's yelling to and yelling at. Coaching with passion, intensity and volume is great. The best coaches are on their players for every detail and know how to communicate in a way that players can understand and use to better themselves. It's so obvious that putting players in a constant state of fear of not being perfect is so counterproductive.
I'm glad that hammerhead20 resurrected this old thread, it looks like the last post before today was in 2010. It looks like most of the people who replied to this wayback when don't appear to be members anymore, I can't help wonder how the game and coaches have changed as when the original post was made my daughter was not even 4.
I have been blessed to have had coaches who generally do not raise their voice much at all over my daughters young softball life. And most of the teammates I've ever seen of hers have rather sensitive hearts - usually when I see tears it's when the players are being hard on themselves. I have seen opposing coaches absolutely lose their minds in my opinion where I could visibly see veins on their neck from the opposite dugout. I once witnessed an opposing player not hustle to a fly ball over her head with the determination that her coaches would expect to the point where there were four coaches leaning against the dugout fence all screaming their heads off at her and this poor girl was just a puddle of tears within seconds.
I do not have the years of wisdom perhaps to have full perspective on this issue as my child is only 10. As parents do we expect our children's coaches to not raise their voice any louder to our children then perhaps our children's teachers in school? It's an intriguing thought but it feels a bit like a false equivalency. Or do we not expect our children's coaches to raise their voices at players anymore than their own parents would - which is obviously a faulty way of conceiving it as every parent has their own style. I know the type of motivations that my child will respond to and ones she will not
Bat dad- You will typically find the yellers at the younger ages, 10U for sure. I was right there so I am not immune to the behavior. However we all evolve and by the time you reach high 12 low 14 there is very little of that. The problem really corrects its self as the kids grow up and so do the coaches/parents. Now this is not to say coaches don't, from time to time, have to elevate their voice but the occurrences of a coach screaming at a kid? Again its rare.
My advice is at the next turny your at check out a 16/18u division and see how calm it its... You will be shocked at the difference.
Calmer was worse as they got older, because Dd could tell when coach was disappointed instead of mad. They'd rather have mad and hated to disappoint.....
Agree. I have adapted the " I am disappointed" Vs "I am mad" philosophy and you're correct to disappoint is to more impactful.
There is a time and a place for it...
The BEST coaches know when and where!!!
and HOW to do it! ( knowing your players individually.)
Yelling for motivation vs yelling to teach vs yelling to demean. 3 different animals and all have pitfalls and shouldn't be ignored. Normally you do more damage than good especially if you are using it as a teaching tool. It normally crosses a line to demean the child and the damage can be irreversible without professional counseling. It is for this very reason I believe coaches need to find another method to teach or discipline the kids----------especially girls regardless of age.
Look, none of those kids purposely do something wrong while playing softball. They need to be understood and taught. Kids don't learn at the same pace. Some kids simply don't rank the game as high on their list as others (coaches). Girls don't normally "live" the game like boys. All things need to be considered before blowing a cork! The favorite saying "I treat all the girls on my team like they are my own" may or may not be one of your brightest moments as a coach! There are many factors to consider, especially if a player is having a problem that is chronic. Communication from coach to player may need tweaked. Many girls shake their heads "yes" even when they don't understand what you are saying. they don't want to appear stupid so they simply agree. The coach is the one needing to change. Talk to her in a way she'll understand. Some girls may be having an equipment malfunction. Again, it's up to the staff to notice the problem and address it. Lastly, some kids simply cannot function physically as well as you want them to. They don't have the athletic ability. It's the coach that needs to accept this and work to help them improve if even possible. Yelling at a kid and demeaning her for being a slow runner will not help. Get her with somebody that can help her learn a better running technique is the answer.
One last thought, when teaching girls you need to remember that many will not remember. They don't think ahead or are mentally into the game like yourself. I always tell coaches "don't yell at a girl if she does something wrong unless you are sure you told her ahead of time what you wanted her to do." In other words, the classic "you should know better" is nothing more than admitting you didn't do everything you could at the moment. Age is not an issue as time doesn't always become a teaching aid.
Save the yelling for shouts of joy and use your head and work with all the other moments as teaching moments and times of reflection.
I agree. But, I think this has a lot to do with 10U and younger players, just having a harder time focusing (with everything). Blank stares are typical and it's just really hard to coach the little ones. At this age the loudest gets listened to, so raising your voice does help, especially when the kids are getting louder; both during games and in practice. God bless 10u and younger coaches.
There is certainly a difference between yelling to be the loudest and yelling to be mean.
I have seen many coaches that yell and when they do the team puts their heads down and react negatively to the coach. I have found over the years that 12u seems to have a lot of screaming coaches but I think that is because many dads coach in that age group. I enjoy the 18u showcase age because all the coaches are calmer and understand how to interact with this level player.
You yell to grab attention. You teach, coach and motivate once you have the attention. They understand your mad and know you will explain why and how it could have been done differently. Without that you just have a yelling coach.
Wow...just noticed that I posted to this back in 2010. After reading it again today, I wouldn’t change a word.
Lots of good insight in this thread.
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