I won't defend them and have no respect for the families and/or organizations that fail to display any etiquette but I truly despise the spectators that feel the need to defame a player in order to watch a game of fastpitch softball played by young ladies. Most of the time I deal with attitudes from kids or attitudes from parents that hinder efforts to teach our game to those wanting to improve. For the most part; attitudes are taught at home much like respect and common courtesy. Situations can always be handled better but for the sake of trying to understand motives, everyone should assume there are facts, known or unknown, which may be a contributing factor. Let’s review a few.
Parents camped out behind a dugout or along the field fence may be construed as an organization thinking they have reserve seating for all games for the day. The fact is; they possibly ARE the next game and SCHEDULED to play back to back. Many parents don’t know the details of a schedule as they live from game to game. Many head coaches may be the only ones aware of this and they are busy getting the team ready. Mistakes also can happen. Both sides may feel the need to defend them or stand their ground if you will. We’ve seen the clubs that believe “first come-first serve” means they can hog the prime seating spot along the fence because their team is scheduled to play on the same diamond all day. We know etiquette dictates you move back for the next team to allow families of the kids playing to be able to watch the game, and then move out of the way for the next bunch afterwards. This stuff is not spelled out in the park rules but people should know these things. When there is a conflict, people should be able to work the situation out. A few things that would help is if a parent would step up to notify others of the schedule ahead of time so people know you have a game or 2 wait or need to change diamonds. A parent could also help if they are aware of any dugout assignments ahead of time. Many TD’s will assign the dugout and/or side of the field per game and some coaches ignore this fact till the end. I suggest a parent get a tourney copy of rules and assignments to share with the group.
As for the kids racing into a dugout, the kids are ready to play! Lol. We sometimes need to hold them back but to be honest I don’t believe most rush a dugout because they are trying to make a statement. The competitive juices are flowing and they want to be the first one in the dugout and the next thing you know they are stumbling over each other just inside the doorway with no place for either team to move. I’ve never seen a team go in to a dugout and start throwing the other team’s stuff out the door. I’m more forgiving to the players just because it’s so innocent in my eyes.
Just remember when a situation is presented to use some tact to try and solve the problem. The kids are watching as well as others----even a few upset enough that they are willing to post something on OFC. If you read the thread and it sounds familiar, perhaps you need to be to hone your people skills you use in public. We can all work on that one some---especially me.
Last; I’d like to address the issue of the coaches yelling and degrading players in a manner that some assume will motivate them to do better. The best coaches in the world will tell you that all the yelling and screaming does is support a negative result. Besides Candrea, Miller, Edwards, and a list too long to mention, they all will tell you to reason issues with a player or a team rather then vent your frustrations by yelling or name calling. I had a coach tell me once it was the only way to get their attention. My answer was he was getting their attention but not for the topic He wanted to discuss. When you yell at a girl you immediately will get a “look” come over her face but that in no way means they are paying attention. Most of the time, they couldn’t tell you afterwards what was said if it would save their life. That “look” is normally followed by6 the mind racing to figure out how many ways they could hurt you without getting thrown in jail as an adult. The thoughts will last as long as you are defaming them. Coaches need to work on the people skills needed to get their attention and correct the problems that gets everyone so upset. I recently was watching a segment of “Deadliest Catch” when they had a Navel Commander from a ship that is stationed in the Bearing Sea. When asked how many officers were on board his ship in relation to the number of enlisted men and how they bet there’s always a lot of yelling going on, the Commander mentioned they seldom ever raise their voices. He stated the men know their job and there is a mutual respect of the men and officers and this allows the ship to function smoothly with few issues. It was something he felt the Captains of the fishing fleet could learn a lesson from them. While the yelling and screaming made the show entertaining, they were all aware it was not the way for a ship to be totally productive. All of us could probably learn better ways to vent and should work on it---I included. What many coaches don’t understand is the need to respect the players enough to talk TO them instead of DOWN TO them to get a problem resolved. Some times we simply need to accept the facts that certain kids either won’t get it or need more time to work on issues that may hinder a team effort. Accepting the challenge to teach them is why we became coaches. Throwing a fit will simply prove that the coach wasn’t up to the challenge.
Oh, and to the players that just like to push my buttons; you don’t scare me!!!
