Coach's wife

First off let me start by saying that I am the coach's wife! Yes our daughter plays on the team as well, and my husband coaches the travel team. (I have read some of the things you guys post about travel coach's, I will just leave that one alone!) Anyway, the problem that I am having is the fact that I have not had a decent conversation with my husband for almost 3 months now. Don't get me wrong, unless we discuss softball, we speak everyday. Things are a little different this year with us actually taking over the whole league in our area, and he coach's our daughter's rec team and her 10u travel team. Granted my husband and I have been married for 10 years next week, and he has been our daughter's coach and travel coach for 2 years now. Then he decided to drop the bombshell on me that he was going to take a 12u travel team next year! I just wanted to smack him! I told him that it was too much. But in all seriousness, I do love him, and the kids/parents love him, he is a great coach (he gets carried away every now and then, but who doesn't). I just want to know how you coach's do this and how your wives handle this for so many months out of every year.

It's a lifestyle, you either have it or you don't. My husband loves it as much as the girls and I do so it all works for us.

Been married to my wife for 35 years,been coaching travel for almost half that. I will be the first one to admit she doesn't get the attention she deserves. I keep telling her this is my last year. Honest!! From the bottom of my heart thank you to all the coaches wife's and husbands for putting up with our craziness called fast pitch softball.

We have only been doing this for 3 years now. I guess I loved it at first, but when I seen how many of our son's games (coach pitch baseball) he was missing because he was watching some of the plays the older girls were doing it started getting to me. Our daughter wasn't even playing, he just wanted to get some ideas from them. And yes I guess I miss the attention!

WOW when I first read this I thought it was my wife...seriously.... untill I saw it was 10u and not 18u....This has to be really tough for any spouse, as a coach it takes so much time and dedication to teach/lead these young ladies in the right direction, the commitment is HUGE anyone who has coached knows that...but at what cost does it have to be??? This weekend will end, only my 4th straight year of coaching fastpitch( Fall, Spring, Summer, Winter and soo on) but the main reason why I am taking a few years off starting this fall is my Son and Wife, I have been SOOOO into softball the last 4 years with my DD that my son has grown up and I have not seen it, we went golfing the other day and he beat me...When I asked how and when he got so good he said "every weekend you were out with Marissa coaching I was golfing"....
Look I LOVE to coach and when the time is right I will be back (if someone wants me)
but I realized it was affecting my relationship with my wife and son...not good for me..
Luckily both of them have been GREAT and understand why I did what I did but now it the time to do what`s right for the whole family..

Not saying you will or may have this problem, the best advice I can give is to talk about it with your husband,have him step back and look at himself in the mirror and just ask what should come first.....Softball..or..Family....
3 years ago I picked softball, this fall I am picking family, I already know what the right anwser is for me....

Hope all goes well and if you need anything let me know
Sincerly Brian Jones Wizards 18u

Only one thing worse than being a coach's wife...............Being a coach's husband. There are a lot of things (besides communication) that don't occur during travel ball season.

Sounded just like my wife as well. Maybe there should be a support group for spouses married to those with the addiction to softball.

4carrs

You will always be the coach's wife

Lred24 said:

4carrs

You will always be the coach's wife

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OUCH!! That was brutal!!:lmao::lmao:

10umom said:

First off let me start by saying that I am the coach's wife! Yes our daughter plays on the team as well, and my husband coaches the travel team. (I have read some of the things you guys post about travel coach's, I will just leave that one alone!) Anyway, the problem that I am having is the fact that I have not had a decent conversation with my husband for almost 3 months now. Don't get me wrong, unless we discuss softball, we speak everyday. Things are a little different this year with us actually taking over the whole league in our area, and he coach's our daughter's rec team and her 10u travel team. Granted my husband and I have been married for 10 years next week, and he has been our daughter's coach and travel coach for 2 years now. Then he decided to drop the bombshell on me that he was going to take a 12u travel team next year! I just wanted to smack him! I told him that it was too much. But in all seriousness, I do love him, and the kids/parents love him, he is a great coach (he gets carried away every now and then, but who doesn't). I just want to know how you coach's do this and how your wives handle this for so many months out of every year.

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my wife is beside herself due to this. Hard to balance if at all. It is a lifestyle and it is huge. Kids are little once... and not going to miss it. She's coming around to it. Plus I help with the organization and the inner workings. Time is always an issue and the phone rings 2-5 times a night. I'm glad she is hanging in there on this one...

this is an interesting thread...maybe we could get u to blog ur thoughts as the travel year comes back around next year...i know being everyone's favorite neighborhood statman takes its toll on the wifey..although she got the consolation prize of the summer by meeting the addicted members from ofc and not rolling her eyes, she has to sit while i shoo her away when there's a wild play, or when i need a diet coke from the cooler and she's sitting on it...god bless the wives!

Stattie's wife is a true gem. I really enjoyed hanging out with Mr and Mrs Statman down at GAPSS.

10umom said:

First off let me start by saying that I am the coach's wife! Yes our daughter plays on the team as well, and my husband coaches the travel team. (I have read some of the things you guys post about travel coach's, I will just leave that one alone!) Anyway, the problem that I am having is the fact that I have not had a decent conversation with my husband for almost 3 months now. Don't get me wrong, unless we discuss softball, we speak everyday. Things are a little different this year with us actually taking over the whole league in our area, and he coach's our daughter's rec team and her 10u travel team. Granted my husband and I have been married for 10 years next week, and he has been our daughter's coach and travel coach for 2 years now. Then he decided to drop the bombshell on me that he was going to take a 12u travel team next year! I just wanted to smack him! I told him that it was too much. But in all seriousness, I do love him, and the kids/parents love him, he is a great coach (he gets carried away every now and then, but who doesn't). I just want to know how you coach's do this and how your wives handle this for so many months out of every year.

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My husband is in your shoes and has been for over 12 years. He understands for me this is in my blood and it is very hard for me not to have anything to do with fastpitch. I take a set time and focus only on us and our family. Typically this is the spring time. I coach older girls and they are in High School at this time and I cannot touch them. This works great for us because the hubby loves to fish. We take extended trips together doing just that, sharing our love of the outdoors.

Find away to work it with a special time for the two of you. The memories he is making with your daughter will last a life time and it is an unknowing gift you are providing to him that many father do not have the opportunity to share.

I will always have the luxury of being NAC. Although, some call me "Woody". You know............Toy Story.

Been coaching for 15 years and married for 26 years. My wife goes to every game (high school and travel) and has as much fun as I do. Started back when my daughter played and now my daughter is actually helping me coach. Each year, we take on new girls in our organization and I know most of the girls on all 10 of our teams. My wife, along with myself, treat these girls like they were our own kids. She has been behind me 110%.

Hi everybody my name is Bubba and I'm a fastpitch addict.

Since my DD began playing ball I spend every waking moment on the dirt pitching, hitting, or fielding (during the week) and tournaments on the weekends. In the winter we pitch on wrestling mats after my son finishes his practice, or we are at batting cages. When it is too dark I'm busy figuring stats, reading OFC or talking with other coaches about softball.

My garage now is a softball training center, our basement is been converted to a weight room and exercise room (that if anybody has ever seen me I don't use) for my kids. My grass hasn't been cut since 2006 and the gutters are falling off the house.

I vaguely remember what my wife looks like as she goes to tournaments on the weekends, and the pictures from our wedding on the wall 20 years ago (man we look different, I hope thats my wife I'm taking to the tournaments). I still think my Mother is alive but can't remember where she lives or her telephone number. My job is great because I can talk ball and as I fire people I get to say "YOUR OUT OF HERE" instead of it being said to me.

I even hear myself talking about taking on a 10u team when my DD goes off to college in 4 years. I believe that they could bite railroad spikes in two when they get to 14u working 8 days a week and working with a trainer for healthy eating, a batting coach, and weight trainer. Maybe we could do home schooling and have a 6 hour class in fastpitch every day.

Like feistymom, I am so, so, so blessed to have a husband who understands that this is not just a weekend hobby for me. I grew up in Phoenix and started playing in 1st grade. Simply, softball is part of who I am. Of my 3 beautiful children, 2 are special needs. I left my teaching job, which I LOVED, to stay at home and care for the oldest. So hubby understands better than anyone just how important it is for me to get out and do something I truly love. Just like I understand and support his need to go fish once a week, and take a 10 day fishing trip to Canada when my season ends. This is how we support each other. Not a lot of "us" time during the summer, but this is what works.

I just finished coaching a team where dad was coaching dd. I have watched them for a few years, and got to experience their relationship up close this summer. It is special! Their bond is strong! Seeing how they talked to each other - with mutual respect, and interected - like best friends, and how she would look at him - like a hero, made me respect this family all the more. All because of softball? NO. But having all of these summers together, shared experiences, driving time, meal time, hotel time, etc has enhanced their bond. This is a strong, confident young woman going out into the world, and she knows daddy is there to support her (even into 23U).

Not every girl has this opportunity. Not every dad wants to be this involved. 10umom, you basically asked how us coaches handle our home life. I would say that the few months of chaos is well worth the relationship dads get to forge with their daughters. DD's who have this strong father/daughter relationship are less likely to seek male attention elsewhere. I know it is tough right now, and you miss the normal 2 parent rountine. But you will see it pay off down the road.

Best of luck to you and your family. God bless!

My wife decided it would just be easier to hop on for the ride and be apart of it, then to sit back and fight it. It has helped me out a ton having her there, for me and for the girls.

These are some really good posts. I don't think most parents understand the work that

is put into coaching a team. The planning, the time searching the internet for tips etc.,

looking for equipment that will help the team become a better team, driving a car big

enough to carry all of the stuff that goes with coaching (the nets, the buckets, the tents,

balls, the hit sticks, the everything else) coming up with practice plans, picking the right

tournaments for their individual team, figuring out how to relate to each and every kid on

the team, doing the lineup before the game, deciding which pitcher to use- even though it

might hurt someone else's feelings. The list goes on and on and on,

I know one thing for sure--- it is a lot easier being a spectator, and it is a HIGHLY

unappreciated job. Thank you coaches, for all you do!!

In the beggining it was much the same with my wife. As I became more involved in travel ball I began to see how much I needed to learn about this game. To be good travel ball coach it takes an incredible amount of dedication to the sport. It is a lifestyle, especially if you are coaching your dd's team. I say that because when you are not on the field playing or team practice you are on the field or in a gym working on the dd's game. When we are not physically working, we talk about the game and situations in order to develop the mental game and help her develop her instincts for this game. To make things even crazier my dd is a pitcher. To pitch at a high level demands that this game becomes a lifestyle. Pitchers work year round perfecting their craft and coaching dads are right there with them every step of the way. My wife also coaches volleyball to which she is very dedicated. Both of us were athletes and competed at the college level in our sports. So, we understand the dedication it takes for coaching. We have been doing this now for the last 4 years. I no longer am coaching a team, however, I work with my dd every day. We have become a travel ball family and when as a family you decide to dedicate your time to this great game it will create opportunities for you to bond very deeply. We spend our weekends together as a family enjoying watching our dd play. Because of the opportunities that this game offers (if you are willing to put the in the time) we have been to to some great places like Oklahoma City, Indianapolis, and we will be in Illinois for nationals next week. Whats the difference between camping or traveling in the summer for vacations or traveling to great places in the summer for several "mini" vacations and enjoying the experience of watching the dd play a game that she truly is passionate about. In my opinion, it is what you make of it. If you invest yourselves as a family into it you will have great memories and lots of funny, exciting, and inspiring stories to tell. 10umom, I am sorry that you feel neglected to some degree. If asked, I am sure that is not your husbands intention. The only thing that I can say is that there are thousands of little girls out there that would give anything to have their dads devote even one minute of his time to them. I know 18 year olds that are nearing the end of the travel ball experience with their dads. I have known one of them since she was about a year old. I can tell you that these families invested it all into the experience and the dd's are great kids, well adjusted and confident young women. They are going to college because of this game and one of them even donned the Red, white, and blue in Argentina at the Goodwill Games. So be patient, and if you choose to invest yourself into the experience it may end up being some of the best times of your life. It has been for us.