Couple Beers w/ Dinner After Games

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #1

I was talking to a coach yesterday who related a story from last year where he took his 10U travel team out of town (overnight) and went to a BW3 with the team after pool play on Saturday. He stated that because he, the coach had a couple of beers with his dinner that some of his parents through a fit with his organization about him setting a bad example in front of the players.

Assuming there isn't more to the story (such as he got trashed and made a total fool of himself) do any of you have similar experiences? We've done this with some of my teams and it's never been an issue, but I suppose some people could object on moral or religious grounds.

 

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #2

Another case of the "Winning Of A Nation". Those parents need to take a chill pill. Teams we have been with have done the same thing and I join them.

 

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #3

I remember what 10U was like.....there was plenty of times we needed a few beers and some wings after pool play.

 

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #4

Ohio Wave said:

I remember what 10U was like.....there was plenty of times we needed a few beers and some wings after pool play.

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many times beer won't cover the issue up....

I have been very stern in not drinking anything around the girls at any tournament. I don't drink beer because of it's taste and I'm just not thirsty enough to crush a 12 pack of anything. When in Panama City we had everyone back to our house and all parents had some drinks and I did as well. In that case, and after some mental debate, I did. I'm not a prude, but, an image/example is important to me. It has to be something the parents agree with in general in my opinion and since all of them were having one or two themselves the issue didn't exist. Not all have this fortunate group of parents that I do.

There's also a difference in having a beer or two and a case...

 

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #5

Ohio Wave said:

I remember what 10U was like.....there was plenty of times we needed a few beers and some wings after pool play.

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Oh yea, You got that right. :lmao:

 

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• Sep 13, 2009

• #6

I think conduct is the key. If the coach doesn't get carried away and maintains a professional demeanor there shouldn't be a problem.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #7

I used to really struggle with this one. I would be out to dinner with family and friends and If I had a beer in front of me and I saw one of my players walk in I would get rid of it immediately. I just didnt want to send the wrong message or set a bad example. As the girls got older, I would say first year 16U, I decided having a beer with some wings was not such a big deal. When we were on the road this year and at the hotels us coaches would occasionaly have a couple of beers in the evening while discussing the trials and tribulations that this game sometimes presents...lol. Its just not such a big deal to me anymore. On the other hand I have witnessed a coach or two and some of their parents just plain sloppy drunk at tournaments...THAT IS BAD!!! I have found that this just isnt an issue at the bigger events...no beer!

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #8

Everything in moderation.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #9

Agree with 4carrs- everything in moderation....when my dd's team was at Nationals in Chattanooga, every night the parents and some of the Coach's sat out by the pool and had a couple beers while the girls took a night swim...we had a fun group

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #10

Carrs is a wise man. As long as noone is out of control, I see no harm. I don't drink because I don't like the taste, but far be it for me to deny anyone else a drink or two. I am a coach and I don't care if my parents indulge, they commit alot of money, time, and weekends to me, who am I to say they can't have a beer watching a ball game on a hot day?

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #11

Coach Sonny said:

I used to really struggle with this one. I would be out to dinner with family and friends and If I had a beer in front of me and I saw one of my players walk in I would get rid of it immediately. I just didnt want to send the wrong message or set a bad example. As the girls got older, I would say first year 16U, I decided having a beer with some wings was not such a big deal. When we were on the road this year and at the hotels us coaches would occasionaly have a couple of beers in the evening while discussing the trials and tribulations that this game sometimes presents...lol. Its just not such a big deal to me anymore. On the other hand I have witnessed a coach or two and some of their parents just plain sloppy drunk at tournaments...THAT IS BAD!!! I have found that this just isnt an issue at the bigger events...no beer!

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I would say don't be doing anything you are embarrassed to be seen doing, ever. Personally, I don't see what the wrong message is with drinking beer in moderation so I'm not embarrassed to have any kids see it. I'm with fanandfun, I love sitting by the pool with the coaches and parents. relaxing with a few beers while the kids swim. Really adds to the tournament experience if you have a fun group.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #12

I wonder if those opposed to having a beer in front of the players follow the same rule at home when their dd's walk into the room. Perhaps they hide the beers at home if the dd has a friend over.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #13

Tough one and a value judgement. Seems like something that could/should be cut & dried. However, it isn't really. Each team has a "culture", and the age may even factor in a little also. Have seen this be no problem whatsover in some enviorments, and tear teams apart in others.

Personally, no issues with it on my end if done properly, in moderation, and with some sensitivities to those around us.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #14

pickledad --very well stated . I've heard things said in earshot of kids AFTER a few adult beverages that I'd guess never been said if ETOH were not involved. . Things that very well may be true -- but some things are far better left unsaid , or left to the appropriate staff to handle.

I'm not against an occasional drink by any means . But if you want to get tanked don't do around the team . Really -what good could come out of that situation ? have a cold one or two , enjoy the commaradity of being part of a team --but IMO getting smashed around the girls never ends well. MD

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #15

ManitouDan said:

I'm not against an occasional drink by any means. But if you want to get tanked don't do around the team. Really -what good could come out of that situation? Have a cold one or two, enjoy the commaradity of being part of a team --but IMO getting smashed around the girls never ends well. MD

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Well put!

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #16

Teams we have been with the girls always had a curfew, like in room by 9:00. I guess if you are getting trashed by 9:00 where the girls could see it, might be a problem, in many ways.

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #17

There are many good lessons to be learned via parents doing things IN FRONT of their kids(Arguing respectfully, Drinking in moderation, showing affection, telling them "I Love you".......) And I'm an extremely conservative Christian, but we also have a responsibility to NOT PRETEND that certain things don't exist and then go do them in private. I see too many kids being raised in a FALSE sterile environment and they don't learn or experience things first hand and tend to have to "learn the hard way".

Five years ago, I couldn't have wrote this, but once I realized I was creating a bubble for my children that would eventually pop, once they were on there own, it became quite obvious that it's important to show them how to do things responsibly with moderation.

I've yet to meet the couple that doesn't fight, indulge in some manner so let's be shining examples of HOW TO, opposed to HOW NOT TO. Although, there are great lessons from the HOW NOT TOs also. Just hope I get to point those out, opposed to be the one being pointed out. ^_^!

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #18

i wish i could express myself like this
thank you triplethreat..... so refreshing

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #19

well said triplethreat

btw, it was great meeting and talking with you Sunday at Expressway Park. Can I get one of those back rubs next time we meet? :lmao:

 

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• Sep 14, 2009

• #20

musty... I knew something about you wasn't right...omg...