coachjwb, you bring up an interesting point which could be a topic all by itself. How many girls choose teams to tryout for based on the fact that they have friends on that team vs. tryout for a team strictly because of the teams competitive element? Is this a root cause of so many mediocre teams? When you choose teams based on friendships alone, I think you compromise the team's potential.
For a girl to grow and mature and come out of her shell, I think it's important for her to know how to make new friends. If she just hangs with her kindergarten group, she'll get left behind somewhat as her other friends (not just sports friends) spread their wings and branch out. There's nothing wrong with keeping childhood friendships - even into adulthood. Those are some of the deepest and cherished friendships we have.
For a girl to go tryout for a team where she (or the parents) knows absolutely no one - and make the team based on her skills, not who she knows - is a great testament to her skill and ability. It also gives her a confidence boost knowing what she can accomplish on her own. A bonus is that she has also meets a new circle of friends.
To get to the point, if more kids and their parents who are "tweeners" (11, 13, 15, etc.) in travel ball would work more on skill development instead of worrying about where their friends are, the level of play in travel ball would gradually improve. If playing with your friends is your primary concern, stay with a community based rec team. There are exceptions, like the teams (who I won't mention) with very knowlegeable coaches who start a group at a very young age, and generally stick together. But those are the exception, not the norm.