TheSoftballZone
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Coaches and Parents should be aware that success for your Softball Team or daughter could very well depend with the Chemistry between the Softball Coaches and yourself.
You've may have witness it during tournaments or may have even been part of a Girls Softball Travel Teams program that for one reason or another the Chemistry is like a Bad Dream and in some cases a nightmare!
I've experience it from both sides, still haven't decided what was worst being the Coaches in this position or being a parents stuck on a team that had parents out of control when anything didn't go there way. In both cases the experience was very bad for everyone involved. The poor daughter that everyone felt sorry for because of her parent(s) actions, the Coaching Staff and the poor players that were stuck in the middle with emotions at the breaking point for them and this poor girl.
From a Coaches points I've been confronted by parent(s) like this and even with its being ugly as could be I try my best to defuse the confrontation ASAP. Here what I try to do with some success.
Background the (the collision course), it all started because I didn't start his daughter in the semi Final game. I had already talk with his daughter and explain that I wanted to save her pitching arm for the next games as I felt we could win the semi final game with are number #3 pitcher who was having a remarkable weekend on the mounds. My plan was to insert his daughter in the game when are number #8 batter came up to bat, if we had less then two outs with at least one base runner on the bag. I even talk with my number #8 batter and told her we would remove her from the game and inserting JW in her position on the diamonds and that JW would be batting for her as well. She was fine with this because she really been struggling with her bat all season long and didn't even want to bat. So all the player involved were well aware of the game plan and all of them were 100% fine with the plan.
So the game begins and out of the corner of my eyes I see one unhappy pappy come my way. His Daughter even seen him coming and ran out to stop him, she even try to explain everything to her father but he was like a heat seeking missile and I was the target of his madness. By time he started to walk in the Dugout I was already standing in the door way. I won't even repeat the words that came out of his mouth, let look at what I try in order to defuse the mess.
My first reaction was to remove him as far from the girls and the game as I could. I ask Mr Dad if he wanted to walk with me to my car? I basically always had at least one items I may or may-not need during the game in my car. As we was walking I try to explain to Mr Dad that his daughter and I had both talk before the game and she was fine with the game plan for the semi final and needed him to understand we were trying to win the tournament. That didn't really work very well as he only became more upset then he was already. I then try, (I'll listen to him approach) I even agree on a couple points he made and even agree that maybe his daughter should have talk to him before the game or that I should have explain the game plan to him before the start of the game. But I ask him this question. Do you think I should explain are Team game plan to ever parent before ever game? His reply to me was (I don't give a **** about anyone else!) That done it for more, I told him that if he couldn't watch the game and put his mouth in check and be on his best behavior that we would just let the other coaches Coach the game, and him and I would just set in the parking lot and wait until the game was over. We set in the parking Lot! When the Game was over he unleash even more words and became even more confrontation then he had been before. He did a nice job of just really taken a great weekend and ruin it for everyone.
I'm not sure how other Coaches would have handle this problem but that what work for me, just to conclude the team lost the game by 1 run, the father pulled his daughter off the team end of story.
Coaches don't let them warning signs of pending problem ahead go unnoticed, that was my first mistake I seen this coming from 1000 miles away and did nothing. Not because I didn't want to do anything, but mostly because I was a new Coach and was afraid that if I try to confront him early in the season that I would end up with a big mess. Well I had a big mess any way, but I learned fast that Chemistry between Coaches and Parents shouldn't be over look.
You've may have witness it during tournaments or may have even been part of a Girls Softball Travel Teams program that for one reason or another the Chemistry is like a Bad Dream and in some cases a nightmare!
I've experience it from both sides, still haven't decided what was worst being the Coaches in this position or being a parents stuck on a team that had parents out of control when anything didn't go there way. In both cases the experience was very bad for everyone involved. The poor daughter that everyone felt sorry for because of her parent(s) actions, the Coaching Staff and the poor players that were stuck in the middle with emotions at the breaking point for them and this poor girl.
From a Coaches points I've been confronted by parent(s) like this and even with its being ugly as could be I try my best to defuse the confrontation ASAP. Here what I try to do with some success.
Background the (the collision course), it all started because I didn't start his daughter in the semi Final game. I had already talk with his daughter and explain that I wanted to save her pitching arm for the next games as I felt we could win the semi final game with are number #3 pitcher who was having a remarkable weekend on the mounds. My plan was to insert his daughter in the game when are number #8 batter came up to bat, if we had less then two outs with at least one base runner on the bag. I even talk with my number #8 batter and told her we would remove her from the game and inserting JW in her position on the diamonds and that JW would be batting for her as well. She was fine with this because she really been struggling with her bat all season long and didn't even want to bat. So all the player involved were well aware of the game plan and all of them were 100% fine with the plan.
So the game begins and out of the corner of my eyes I see one unhappy pappy come my way. His Daughter even seen him coming and ran out to stop him, she even try to explain everything to her father but he was like a heat seeking missile and I was the target of his madness. By time he started to walk in the Dugout I was already standing in the door way. I won't even repeat the words that came out of his mouth, let look at what I try in order to defuse the mess.
My first reaction was to remove him as far from the girls and the game as I could. I ask Mr Dad if he wanted to walk with me to my car? I basically always had at least one items I may or may-not need during the game in my car. As we was walking I try to explain to Mr Dad that his daughter and I had both talk before the game and she was fine with the game plan for the semi final and needed him to understand we were trying to win the tournament. That didn't really work very well as he only became more upset then he was already. I then try, (I'll listen to him approach) I even agree on a couple points he made and even agree that maybe his daughter should have talk to him before the game or that I should have explain the game plan to him before the start of the game. But I ask him this question. Do you think I should explain are Team game plan to ever parent before ever game? His reply to me was (I don't give a **** about anyone else!) That done it for more, I told him that if he couldn't watch the game and put his mouth in check and be on his best behavior that we would just let the other coaches Coach the game, and him and I would just set in the parking lot and wait until the game was over. We set in the parking Lot! When the Game was over he unleash even more words and became even more confrontation then he had been before. He did a nice job of just really taken a great weekend and ruin it for everyone.
I'm not sure how other Coaches would have handle this problem but that what work for me, just to conclude the team lost the game by 1 run, the father pulled his daughter off the team end of story.
Coaches don't let them warning signs of pending problem ahead go unnoticed, that was my first mistake I seen this coming from 1000 miles away and did nothing. Not because I didn't want to do anything, but mostly because I was a new Coach and was afraid that if I try to confront him early in the season that I would end up with a big mess. Well I had a big mess any way, but I learned fast that Chemistry between Coaches and Parents shouldn't be over look.
