How would you handle this one?

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This past weekend I saw something in a 10U game that really surprised and disturbed me. a 3rd base coach got a player thrown out at 3rd base on a close play and as the player stood up to run back to her dugout on the 1st base side, the coach grabbed her by the facemask on her helmet and pulled her right up to his face. then while holding her head up towards his, he scolded her with his finger (I could not hear what was said because he was not yelling) but it was an intense conversation I am sure.

let me say that the players slide in 3rd base was nice, just the timing was bad. it was a close game (maybe 2-1) at the time.

My understanding is that this coach does not have a daughter on the team and that he has a history of eruptions on the field. if it would have been my daughter I would not have been able to let it go as constructive coachng, I think that it went way over the line. How would you handle this if it was your daughter?

 

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First of all, you do not need to intimidate players to be a productive coach...At this age, you want travel ball to be a good experience...I am not saying that you need to coddle the players....just teach them. These talented girls want to learn and become better players. How did the player react?

 

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Because I wasn't there It's hard for me to say. The reason is there are times that my dd's coach would grab the girls face mask and get real close, but only to say "nice slide" or "great hit" in a firm motivating voice. It looks a lot like he is yelling at them in a low firm voice but he isn't.

I am definately not saying that you don't know what you saw. and certainly it is not right to intimidate them when they make a mistake, but sometimes we see something other than what is actually happening. IMHO

Luckily our coaches recognize their errors and do not blame the girls.

 

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Hmmm...grabbed my 10u dd by the facemask and pulled her right to his face and scolded her with a finger in her face?

I'm telling you right now, I would not have reacted in any politically correct manner, and I don't care if it was during a game or practice. ?>

I would have gotten loud and wrong real quick, and possibly physical. ? ?How dare he??? ? Maybe it's just me, but I would have gone all mother bear on that &#$hole. ?> >

History of eruptions? ?I'd show him an eruption.

 

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Being a proctor of a youth coaching class, totally unacceptable behavior and if left unsaid, it will go on again. Please, Don't anyone try and tell me this is just "tough coaching, suck it up, what ya gonna do in her work days" there is no place for this type of behavior in any youth sport, PERIOD! >

 

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Should not be tolerated!! We had a coach for the 10U this year who would do the very same thing. The parents ran the coach off and parents took over. The girls actually did very well after the change!!! It's amazing what the girls can do when they aren't under such stress!!!!

 

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Motivating players is no easy task, especially young girls. Coaches who use fear and intimidation are just plain taking the easy way out. The more they yell, the louder they get, is the more they are overcoming their own shortcomings. Probably never really gave the right way a good try. I never could get parents who turn a blind eye to their kids being treated that way. :-/

 

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Two years ago I coached a team and had my catcher drop a third strike, overthrough the ball at first and the winning run scored. So I during the post game hand shake I booted her in the ASS the whole way down the hand shake line. My catcher was 9 years old at the time.........JUST KIDDING!!!!!

You know tuff love motivation is sometimes out of line at the younger ages. Maybe if it was my kid I would grab her but not someone elses kid!

 

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To grab a child's facemask and jerk them towards you is UNACCPETABLE!!!!! Whether it be to praise or scould them is wrong! You do not know what type of injury you could cause the child. Snapping the neck that quickly could cause injury. If that was done to my daughter, heaven help the person who does it. Whether it be at practice or a game. I know I would confront that so called coach and I'm sure what would follow would not be Christ like.

We need to remember when we are coaching these girls, they are looking to us for the Correct way to play the game. And that is not the correct way to play the game. I have been around coaches that forget that the game is NOT about them. It IS about the girls. They will win and they will lose. The memories they develop and improving their craft playing the game is what makes them all winners.

I hope that if anyone ever sees a coach do that to a CHILD, that you would talk to someone about the improper behavior. Remember one and all, it is called the GAME of fastpitch softball. It's just a game.

Mark

 

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Two years ago I coached a team and had my catcher drop a third strike, overthrough the ball at first and the winning run scored. So I during the post game hand shake I booted her in the ASS the whole way down the hand shake line. My catcher was 9 years old at the time.........JUST KIDDING!!!!!

[highlight]You know tuff love motivation is sometimes out of line at the younger ages. Maybe if it was my kid I would grab her but not someone elses kid![/highlight]

Tuff love for young girls is never right, boys yea, our little angels no.

Dice, you haven't been around, figured you were doing a gig in Vegas. ;D

 

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Well the silver lining in this is that this was probably the last or next to last tournament. There are plenty of other options out there for next year. Time to move on.

mustafo brings up a good point about boys vs. girls. What if this was a football game and the coach grabbed a players face mask. Would katjoebenenenmom still go all "medieval" on the coach or is it acceptable in football?

 

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I'm not sure I would have been able to contain myself. I would have probably grabbed him by his hair and drug him across the field and then give him a good butt whoopin!

We had a coach who would constanty belittle girls. He did it from the time they were 10 years old. He was never physical, but boy could he give them a tongue lashing! It's now 5 years later and he's still doing it. But not in our league or travel program. The end result is he has a new group of girls every year. My understanding is he is having a tough team fielding a team.

These people should not be around kids!

 

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Ringer, as part of our training class there is a video that shows exactly what you ask. No, it is not acceptable, but has become "accepted as normal behavior", which there is the problem.

No coach should ever touch a child in any manner perceived to be intimidating in nature.

Even in a positive manner, coaches must be vigilant in how they touch a child in today's world which could be perceived in a negative way as well. Boys get a slap on the butt from their coaches when they do something good, would you do that to a young lady? I would hope not. High fives are the best way to go in that manner. Even a hug to a child you have known for years could be misconstrued...

 

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I think that when a coach treats a player that way for a mistake they keep thinking about that mistake and can't pay attention to the next play and essentially make another mistake...coaches should use positive encouragement and help the player correct what they did wrong in a positive way.

 

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Sounds like a football coach move. As long as it's not violent probably acceptable for older boys.
10 year old girls, what the....no way.

 

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What if this was a football game and the coach grabbed a players face mask. Would katjoebenenenmom still go all "medieval" on the coach or is it acceptable in football?

Ringer---as soon as the boy is bigger and taller and stronger than the football coach, then maybe he could resort to grabbing a face mask to ?bring the boy's face down to his level to get his attention --- but I still won't like it. ? :-/ ?( Guess that's why moms don't run the army.) ?

Can never say I would be okay with it being done to a girl or at least not to a young girl (and certainly not by a male coach---I know, I know---not fair, but that's just how I feel ?:-*).