Painful

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So my 10U daughters team finished 2nd for about the 7th time in 2 years over the weekend. It is her 4th year of travel and she is devastated. She had a chance to drive in the winning run and popped up and then dropped a 3rd strike which led to the winning run. What is such a bummer is that she got on base ever time all weekend except that at bat and is a crazy good catcher (no one stole a base on her all weekend).

She was devastated on the way home. She tried to hold back the tears but was just broken hearted. On one hand she is one of if not the best player on the team and a big reason they were undefeated going into the finals. On the other she made the error that cost them the Championship. My wife actually held her in the car while she got it all out until she fell asleep.

I love watching these games but my wife and I really feel for her. She will go back to work this week. Probably killing herself over the pop up and dropped 3rd strike. She usually takes a loss pretty well but they have such a good team and they are so close. They all really wanted to win this first tournament. I am worried about her focus and drive. She can be a bit fanatical when it come to winning and working out. Not sure if I should let her just work it all out or try to pull her away for a few days and help her clear her head. A real type A personality (and she is the 3rd of 4 kids.......should be more chilled out). She likes to go down stairs and do her own T work and such. So I can imagine her putting in major time this week.

 

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I think they call these growing pains. Pressure does funny things to you and when your young you don't always handle it the best. My dd is a senior this year and I can always pick out the kids on her HS team that are feeling it by the way their approach to the game changes.

It's a shame, but dealing with the pressure properly is part of the game. At 10u I would bet the kids don't even realize the effects of the stress that they put on them self.

 

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In a hs game a couple weeks ago my dd walked 2 batters, hit a 3rd and then gave up a grand slam. It wouldn't have mattered much if our bats were really hot, but as it was, we lost the game. She, like your dd, was devastated. These girls are learning so much from your dd's age probably through high school. Don't fret to much, she takes it hard because she is a competitor. She wants to strive always to be the best. Hold her when she cries, tell her it's a team effort not just her effort and she will grow better because of it!

Good luck to her this year and all her years. There will be many more tears, and much more happiness for her!

 

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4th year of travel ball at 10U?

 

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We start them young out here, where have you been? My dd is 8 and this is her 3rd year on a 10U team and I would put her up against just about any 10u player. A few years ago 8U travel teams were just about unheard of. Now they are forming leagues for them around the state and soon there will be more tournaments for them. They sure are fun to watch!!

 

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Playing last summer, last tourney of the year and for our 14u team. We are rallying in the final inning, down a bunch initially and dd comes up, bases loaded, 2 out, down 2. The other coach calls time to get his infield focused as they were clearly rattled.

I walk down the 3rd baseline to confer with my dd who is ....CRYING! For those of you that know her, she usually rolls on in situations like that but the moment got in her head. I asked her what in the heck was wrong with her and she tells me,"I don't want to be the one to end our season." Absolutely heartbreaking and I put my arm around her and told her hey, come on this is a game, it is supposed to be fun, do your best and let the results take care of themselves!

She gained her composure, and smokes a line drive at the second-baseman who makes a great snag over her head, ballgame, season over. She was crushed for about 1 hour...then we reflected at great length on the way home of the positives from the game and the season. I think the key is making points on the positive while talking about what you do to not repeat the negatives.

 

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My dd is 8 and this is her 3rd year on a 10U team and I would put her up against just about any 10u player. !

Some 12u as well. Can't wait to see her in the paper:yahoo::yahoo:

 

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It seems a lot but when you see the path it become clear:

Year 1 - my wife starts a team (we had no idea what the heck we were doing) in April...........LOL, we had a hard tinme getting girls so we let Angie play. She was doing competitive gymnastics and while small she is a bulldog and fearless, team was horrible but she was a great leadoff

Year 2 - team was much better, we actually had tryouts in the Fall and trained. Angie was only going to be a practice player but she was so good we let her play........

Year 3 - came into her own, a leader on the team

Year 4 - she is awesome, but tends to try to do too much. Hence the pop-up. Dropped her back shoulder trying to smash it..........my wife and I could have cried for her because she knew it as soon as she hit it.......

We have 2 girls from the beginning on that team. They are both extremely good. I think it is wise to start them as early as possible. My DD thinks softball is all about work and preparation. She does not know any better. She has never played Rec or LL. So it has never been easy. It has always been about perfecting the craft.

We worry about burnout. But she is like this with BB also. If they are keeping score she wants to win. She is possibly even worse about her grades. Not a bad sport.....just very focused and competitive.

To be honest our org is a B+/A- level. And I am not sure if she will be happy here forever ( we run the org....LOL). She likes winning and she likes being around girls who like to win. And I am not sure we can get enough like her on that team. The next 2 years should be fine but at 14U if the teams are not at the highest level she may start asking to look elsewhere.

 

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Some 12u as well. Can't wait to see her in the paper:yahoo::yahoo:

I just have to put some meat on those little tiny bones.

 

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Take her to watch Soul Surfer. My daughter was beating herself up for every little mistake and had very little confidence. My husband and I took her to see that movie and afterwards she completely turned around. It put everything into perspective for her and we didn't have to say a thing. Goodluck!

 

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So my 10U daughters team finished 2nd for about the 7th time in 2 years over the weekend. It is her 4th year of travel and she is devastated. She had a chance to drive in the winning run and popped up and then dropped a 3rd strike which led to the winning run. What is such a bummer is that she got on base ever time all weekend except that at bat and is a crazy good catcher (no one stole a base on her all weekend).

She was devastated on the way home. She tried to hold back the tears but was just broken hearted. On one hand she is one of if not the best player on the team and a big reason they were undefeated going into the finals. On the other she made the error that cost them the Championship. My wife actually held her in the car while she got it all out until she fell asleep.

I love watching these games but my wife and I really feel for her. She will go back to work this week. Probably killing herself over the pop up and dropped 3rd strike. She usually takes a loss pretty well but they have such a good team and they are so close. They all really wanted to win this first tournament. I am worried about her focus and drive. She can be a bit fanatical when it come to winning and working out. Not sure if I should let her just work it all out or try to pull her away for a few days and help her clear her head. A real type A personality (and she is the 3rd of 4 kids.......should be more chilled out). She likes to go down stairs and do her own T work and such. So I can imagine her putting in major time this week.

Oh for crying out loud! You held her until she got it all out and fell asleep!!! It's just another loss, Grandma hasn't gone to heaven. You have elevated the status of a single loss to that of a real crisis.

Did your daughter lose the game? Maybe, but I know there were a dozen plays that had they gone another way it could have changed the outcome. Make her understand she didn't lose the game any more than the girl who grounded out with runners in scoring position.

EXPLAIN TO HER SHE DIDN'T LOSE IT, BUT SHE DIDN'T DO WHAT SHE HAD TO DO TO WIN IT EITHER.

 

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LOL

I was just highlighting that some losses hurt more. And it is hopefully an opportunity for her to grow.

She woke up this morning and said " Well we qualified for Worlds so that is out of the way...."

So I think she has moved on. But the moments after it is hard to see that hurt in their eyes. My wife hates crying. But this DD has never been that upset over any loss.

My older one just cries at the end of ever season because she is upset that some girls may be leaving the team and she will miss them. The older one is a great teammate and loves the team. But she is not nearly as driven or competitive. Just is not wired that way. She is good and actually really good under pressure. But she does not play at the same level. She will struggle to be an Elite player because she is not self motivated enough. But who knows........it can go either way. She is 13 so I think the next couple of years will be interesting.

 

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Spartansdad I feel your pain. My oldest DD won't even carry a 2nd place trophey to the car. I really think she would rather get knocked out in the 1st round than make a final and not win it. My middle child (11u) will be disapointed but happy to have made the finals. Now my 8 year old son is taking after his older sister. He played in a pre-season tournament and took 2nd out of 16 teams and kept his sunglasses on during the team picture so we wouldn't see his tears. In the long run I think the competitive spirit will help them but as a parent it is hard to see the disapointment!

 

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LOL

I was just highlighting that some losses hurt more. And it is hopefully an opportunity for her to grow.

She woke up this morning and said " Well we qualified for Worlds so that is out of the way...."

So I think she has moved on. But the moments after it is hard to see that hurt in their eyes. My wife hates crying. But this DD has never been that upset over any loss.

My older one just cries at the end of ever season because she is upset that some girls may be leaving the team and she will miss them. The older one is a great teammate and loves the team. But she is not nearly as driven or competitive. Just is not wired that way. She is good and actually really good under pressure. But she does not play at the same level. She will struggle to be an Elite player because she is not self motivated enough. But who knows........it can go either way. She is 13 so I think the next couple of years will be interesting.

I know I take it harder than she does when she doesn't do well so I know exactly, what your saying.

 

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I like it! Patti Gasso made a comment at a coaches clinic that she thinks players take losing to well these days. In her opinion it's from playing so many games in the summer at 1 tournament. She's probably right, the only loss that hurts is the one that knocks you out. (another reason high school ball is important lol)