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From Patrick J. Cohn, Ph.D and Lisa Cohn Sports Psychology for Athletes, Parents, Coaches | Coaching, Books, CDs
Youth Sports Psychology for Parents of Young Athletes
Young athletes who are perfectionist can struggle with confidence in both practice and competition.
For example, perfectionist athletes have high demands about the quality of their performance. This can lead to self-doubt when they don't perform up to these high demands.
Perfectionists also have a hard time transferring the confidence they develop in practice to competition. In addition, perfectionists often want approval from others.
They want to be accepted by fellow athletes, coaches, and friends. And if they don't think they are gaining approval from others, their confidence can sink.
Here's the good news about perfectionist athletes. Perfectionists are very motivated, have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and have a desire to learn and improve.
A practice mindset is usually the perfectionist's strength. In addition, coaches love to work with these types of athletes because they have a strong work ethic and are very coachable.
But here's the bad news... Perfectionists:
--Lose confidence quickly not performing well
--Expect to perform perfectly (make zero mistakes)
--Are very critical of their performance
--Tend to dwell on mistakes and missed chances
--Are stuck in a practice mindset, which hurts them in competition
What's the solution?
The answer is not easy. Many of the athletes we work with fit into the category of perfectionists. We understand the challenges, but perfectionist athletes do not. The can resist change and deny it hurts them.
The first step is to help athletes uncover the beliefs that underlie perfectionism (and keep them stuck). It's also important to help them understand how perfectionism might hurt their confidence.
For example, we find that athletes often believe they must be perfect to perform well:
"I should demand high expectations of myself because I work so hard to achieve my goals."
OR
"The best way to perform perfectly is to avoid making any mistakes."
As you can see, these beliefs do not help young athletes perform their best.
Here's the process then:
1. Help athletes understand the disadvantages of perfectionism and agree they are getting in the way.
2. Uncover the beliefs and behaviors that support perfectionism.
3. Replace the unhealthy beliefs that hurt confidence with a philosophy that helps confidence grow.
Here's an example of number 3 above:
"My performance does not have to look and feel perfect for me to have a good game."
Youth Sports Psychology for Parents of Young Athletes
Young athletes who are perfectionist can struggle with confidence in both practice and competition.
For example, perfectionist athletes have high demands about the quality of their performance. This can lead to self-doubt when they don't perform up to these high demands.
Perfectionists also have a hard time transferring the confidence they develop in practice to competition. In addition, perfectionists often want approval from others.
They want to be accepted by fellow athletes, coaches, and friends. And if they don't think they are gaining approval from others, their confidence can sink.
Here's the good news about perfectionist athletes. Perfectionists are very motivated, have a strong work ethic, are committed to their goals, and have a desire to learn and improve.
A practice mindset is usually the perfectionist's strength. In addition, coaches love to work with these types of athletes because they have a strong work ethic and are very coachable.
But here's the bad news... Perfectionists:
--Lose confidence quickly not performing well
--Expect to perform perfectly (make zero mistakes)
--Are very critical of their performance
--Tend to dwell on mistakes and missed chances
--Are stuck in a practice mindset, which hurts them in competition
What's the solution?
The answer is not easy. Many of the athletes we work with fit into the category of perfectionists. We understand the challenges, but perfectionist athletes do not. The can resist change and deny it hurts them.
The first step is to help athletes uncover the beliefs that underlie perfectionism (and keep them stuck). It's also important to help them understand how perfectionism might hurt their confidence.
For example, we find that athletes often believe they must be perfect to perform well:
"I should demand high expectations of myself because I work so hard to achieve my goals."
OR
"The best way to perform perfectly is to avoid making any mistakes."
As you can see, these beliefs do not help young athletes perform their best.
Here's the process then:
1. Help athletes understand the disadvantages of perfectionism and agree they are getting in the way.
2. Uncover the beliefs and behaviors that support perfectionism.
3. Replace the unhealthy beliefs that hurt confidence with a philosophy that helps confidence grow.
Here's an example of number 3 above:
"My performance does not have to look and feel perfect for me to have a good game."