Player Attitudes and Drive to be Successful

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I'm looking for advice from those of you have been coaching much longer than I have.

I have about 4-5 girls on the team who quickly fall into this self defeating attitude anytime they don't succeed...ie. strike out, bad throw, make an error, etc. At that point I might as well write them off for the rest of the game. It's obviously contagious to the point where the team feels so defeated that we can't even do the simple, basic stuff correctly. How have/would you start to deal with this situation? What do you do in practice and what do you do during games?

Additionally, we have a group of girls that simply don't act like this stuff is very important. They only hustle when they want to and that's not too often. How do/would you start to attack that situation?

Lastly, in general, how "hard" are you on the girls during practices? I want to demand that they practice hard and give 110% effort, but how do you guys/gals demand that from your players? Do you make them run when mistake are made or less than full effort is given? Is there other "punishment"? Is it individual or as a team? They need to understand that practice is where we work hard so that in games we can play hard and be successful.

I have a great group of girls with all the talent in the world, but they either don't believe they can play to their potential or simply don't have the desire to do it. As a coach, it really makes for some loooong, frustrating weekends.

Any advice would be much appreciated.

 

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I use to make the whole team run if one person was walking on the field. Then I was given this advice, make the whole team run except the guilty party. Make them stand in the pitchers circle and watch the rest of her team run the bases. You won't have to say anything to them again because they will police themselves from then on.

 

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IMO what you describe is part of the "talent" that each player brings to the table.

It is almost impossible to coach attitude and effort. You can ask for it, you can demand it, but unless they either want to give it or you have the leverage to force them it can be a very frustrating experience.

I think all coaches will tell you that unlocking passion for the game being played is one of the hardest things to get. And it is also why so many college coaches will tell you that they look for attitude and passion in a player. Having the ability or capability to physically play the games verse the drive to excel at the game are 2 very different things.

 

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I don't know if this will help or not but when I coached I had a similar problem. What I did was figure out who your natural leaders are. Who do the girls follow etc. Then have a nice talk with those girls. Explain to them that you need them to give 110% effort and that the other girls look up to them (this was usually the older ones on the team). I literally laid it out for them that as you go the team goes. Your attitude with everything is being watched by your other teammates they will follow you etc. Don't be mean about it just try and have an "adult" conversation with them and ask them if they can make sure they hustle for everything and try not to show their emotions. I know that it is easier said than done but it happened to work for me once. The girl responded and the team responded with her.

 

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You all make some good suggestions! Two things I just thought of that might help. First how about having a sit down meeting before the next practice before you start and have a serious conversation with the team about what it means to be passionate and play hard? I wouldn't preach to the girls, I'd make them tell you what they think it means. I bet they give you good answers that reflect the way that you'd like them to practice and play. Once they're done answering, I'd simply say, "ok, show me, let's go!", and see what happens. Another thing to try is to have the team all go watch a college game ( since it's off-season now ) watch a replay of the college world series. Tell the girls to pay attention to the energy and passion the girls play with. That should help model to them what it means to practice and play with passion. Good luck!

 

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Your attitude during practices can help with the mindset during games. Don't let up. Demand they make every play as if it were their last and get rid of the "That should be good enough" effort that players will demonstrate at times. At times, you'll have players downplay a miss or mistake because after all, it simply is warm ups or just practice. If this is the case, show me you can make that play or the message I'm getting as a coach is you do not have the ability and we need to work on this more or find another player to give me a better effort here. Players will mask problems or lack of talent in many ways. Watch for it, fix it at practices, then demand they step up their game to its new level on the weekends. With work and support, you can turn some around. The others simply have demonstrated they probably will choke when you need them so plan a different course before it hurts the team effort.

 

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Rather than use punishment as a deterrent to lack of hustle, why not use praise as a positive reinforcement? The key is to catch the girls doing something that is truly "praise worthy". Be careful though, because they aren't stupid and can spot fake praise a mile away. Great coaches are pros at this. They rarely raise their voice, but when they do it is almost always when making a positive comment. I think using this approach from a young age turns out kids who truly love the game and have a passion for playing. The kids you see in college having the time of their lives didn't get there by being punished for doing things wrong; they were encouraged to take chances and push themselves to their limits. Hustle was just another element of the game, like learning to throw, catch and hit. Hustle and running must be built into the practice routine.

In a dream world ALL your girls would hustle and do everything you ask. But this ain't no dream world - real life says that some kids will NEVER hustle, and will try their best to drag others into their world - misery loves company. These are usually the kids whose parents had low expectations - they were encouraged to be lazy. As a coach, the only way to rid your team of this disease is to weed out those bad apples. When you choose kids at tryouts look especially for that hustle element. Weight your choices towards attitude and hustle above everything else. A few new kids on your team will set an example of what you expect. Those kids are where your leaders come from. If your kids aren't hustling, step up the pace of your practices. Have them run between stations and drills. Devise drills that force them to be aggressive. From a young age I told both my kids that there was a golden rule that you ALWAYS run onto a ball field. That carried over to my daughter as a pitcher in college. I can't remember her EVER walking onto or off of the field.

Honestly, when I watch a kid's ball game I hate to see coaches "yelling negatives" at the kids. I just think a concept of correction and praise works far better than punishment. Yes, it's a crude example, but rubbing a dog's nose in it's poop or shaming it hours later does no good whatsoever. But as a puppy, if you start using a routine of going outside with them, then praising the dog when they "do their business" outside, they learn exactly what it is you want. Pretty soon it becomes second nature.

 

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I've had this problem the last couple years as well. I have a group of talented girls but only about half "want" it and we have had a hard time gelling as a team. The girls that have the drive give 110% and the others give about 75% if I'm lucky. I started looking back through articles and stuff that I've acquired through the years and ran across something from SoftballExcellence.com called How to Develop Mental Toughness, Team Leaders and Motivated Players. Its a free download and while I'm not a big fan of the kum-by-ya, everyone is a winner attitude, I got a few things out of it that I'm going to try - like talking to the team about what teamwork and leadership mean to them, one thing they do well, one thing a teammate does well etc while they are stretching. I'm hoping by opening up the lines of communication before each practice and game and focusing on the positives they will get in a better head space.

 

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I deal with this every year at different levels and I think I found the best answer to start you off with these players is, Positive Coaching and Attainable Goals.
I use positive coaching and read up on this as much as possible, that is the first step a coach needs to use. The second and most important step most coaches and players miss out on is simple........ To be successful in life and in sports or whatever you do, you must always have a common goal. Winning is way too much at the beginning, We play one game at a time, one inning at a time, one pitch at a time. If they all know what the current goal is they can work for it. After reaching that goal set another, one goal at a time......it will come together in a game after working on it.
Set a player up for success and build on that and if you stay your coarse one day it all comes together with success and a well balanced player. It takes work and most of all passion to teach in small amounts at a time. Too much at one time is over load. Break it down and work it in without the players even knowing they are learning skill sets.
Its puzzle....... if you do puzzles you have a organized way of starting off and stay your plan in setting a goal to finish. I put target nets in the field for our players to hit in batting practice for points, it is a game to them but a skill is being used to play that game. Practice at a fast pace and in games things come together.
If they make a error or bad judgement on a play just let them know what you want in that case next time, give possitive words. Positive actions produce Positive results. You may get that needed A&E after this.
The passion and desire to do something right all kids have down deep inside. Praise all that is good and work to fix that which is bad.

 

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... If they make a error or bad judgement on a play just let them know what you want in that case next time, give possitive words. Positive actions produce Positive results. You may get that needed A&E after this.
The passion and desire to do something right all kids have down deep inside. Praise all that is good and work to fix that which is bad.

Excellent post. I just want to reinforce a couple of key points.
- If you want someone to improve, it is more important to instruct them on what to do than what not to do. You can explain why you don't want them to do something, but you need to finish with what they should do instead.
- Softball is a tough game to master. To develop players, coaches should focus their communication on instruction and encouragement.

The OP basically comes down to the main 2 things that coaches can require from players - good attitude and effort.

Attitude: You need to figure out why they go into a funk to properly address it. Regardless of the reason for it, they need to learn that it hurts their chances of making the next play and perseverance after a setback is the greatest life skill they'll learn from playing softball. Here are a few possibilities and you may need to experiment to figure it out.
- Lack of confidence: Encouragement and praise when they do it right.
- Attention getting: Giving them extra attention just reinforces it.
- Defense mechanism: They crawl into a shell due to past experiences of coaches and/or parents yelling at them for making a mistake. They need to know physical mistakes are excused as long as they're giving their best effort.

Effort: Playing time is the best motivator. Effort in practice should be a factor in playing time. If a reserve is busting her hump in practice and on her own to improve, look for opportunities in games to reward her. If a player is not giving her best effort in practices and/or games, warn her and follow up by making her sit more than usual.

If you're not getting the effort you want in practice, it might be due to the way practice is run. Keep them busy and not waiting around a lot. A well organized practice encourages max effort during drills by keeping them to a reasonable length and provides short water breaks in between drills.

 

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I appreciate all of the comments thus far. As we coach we always tend to use positive reinforcement and point out the positives as a way to enforce what we want to happen. I didn't want my original post to look like I wanted to punish the girls, but I wanted ideas on how to convey that we are serious about what we expect from them. At this point we've had a few team talks about what they like what they don't, what it means to be successful, etc. I immediately see a change in their attitudes but it only last for a practice or two. They then fall back into this "I just made a mistake so the world is going to end" mentality that is very difficult to bring them back from during a game.

 

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DaytonFP, this is a common curse among females, athletes or not; the majority tend to run the negative loop in their heads.
You can given them the most positive feedback ever, but they don't hear it that way. Most will wallow for the remainder of the weekend and pull the entire team into their misery. A very special few will wallow momentarily and manage to shake it off, then attempt to rally the team. Age and experience can help a little but heart and passion cannot really be taught, those are "god-given" and must be nurtured because those are what make a true athlete.
It only takes 1 negative nelly to ruin a great group so tread carefully, praise the ones who rally the others, and choose carefully how you elect to motivate them. It is a tightrope that even us mothers fall from regularly. Good luck!

 

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Need to hire my youngest daughter, she loves herself too much to get negative.:lmao: Just as 1 girls can bring their team down, it takes 1 girl to pump up her team.

I think she wanted to be a cheerleader and I shot that down when she was 8.

 

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Need to hire my youngest daughter, she loves herself too much to get negative.:lmao: Just as 1 girls can bring their team down, it takes 1 girl to pump up her team.

I think she wanted to be a cheerleader and I shot that down when she was 8.

Sounds like my youngest! :yahoo:

 

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I use to make the whole team run if one person was walking on the field. Then I was given this advice, make the whole team run except the guilty party. Make them stand in the pitchers circle and watch the rest of her team run the bases. You won't have to say anything to them again because they will police themselves from then on.

This advice is Ok maybe in rec. ball but, as you continue on into the upper levels you will find you will need to replace good players every year if the coach does not manage the team...

Just like a manager at an employment situation... Deal with the individual involved...If it means you have to cut some consider it addition by subtraction.... ANY coach that would have their players be the discipline on the team is not a coach....

I agree with several posters that we are living in the era of NCLB with a lot of players that feel that giving the 'true minimum' is acceptable. The harsh reality is those that step up and help direct today’s youth to the path of success will lose some but, gain others that will spread the message of reward for work in the future...

As far as practice... I was practice them as I would expect them to play HARD and FAST... If you do not leave sore and tired you did not do your job as a player or coach...

Get the Sue Enquist video coaches choice DVD mental toughness training and establishing a perspective for the game...She addresses this issue directly...We use this in our softball school at all ages...

 

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Kids aren't born lazy. Somebody has to teach them the meaning of a hard day's work. And guess who that is? Coaches - welcome to the world of teachers who deal with this every day in the classroom. When discipline is not learned at home, it forces teachers (and coaches) into an endless remedial teaching loop. Blame the parents, NOT the kids.

 

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Rather than use punishment as a deterrent to lack of hustle, why not use praise as a positive reinforcement? The key is to catch the girls doing something that is truly "praise worthy". Be careful though, because they aren't stupid and can spot fake praise a mile away. Great coaches are pros at this. They rarely raise their voice, but when they do it is almost always when making a positive comment. I think using this approach from a young age turns out kids who truly love the game and have a passion for playing. The kids you see in college having the time of their lives didn't get there by being punished for doing things wrong; they were encouraged to take chances and push themselves to their limits. Hustle was just another element of the game, like learning to throw, catch and hit. Hustle and running must be built into the practice routine.

In a dream world ALL your girls would hustle and do everything you ask. But this ain't no dream world - real life says that some kids will NEVER hustle, and will try their best to drag others into their world - misery loves company. These are usually the kids whose parents had low expectations - they were encouraged to be lazy. As a coach, the only way to rid your team of this disease is to weed out those bad apples. When you choose kids at tryouts look especially for that hustle element. Weight your choices towards attitude and hustle above everything else. A few new kids on your team will set an example of what you expect. Those kids are where your leaders come from. If your kids aren't hustling, step up the pace of your practices. Have them run between stations and drills. Devise drills that force them to be aggressive. From a young age I told both my kids that there was a golden rule that you ALWAYS run onto a ball field. That carried over to my daughter as a pitcher in college. I can't remember her EVER walking onto or off of the field.

Honestly, when I watch a kid's ball game I hate to see coaches "yelling negatives" at the kids. I just think a concept of correction and praise works far better than punishment. Yes, it's a crude example, but rubbing a dog's nose in it's poop or shaming it hours later does no good whatsoever. But as a puppy, if you start using a routine of going outside with them, then praising the dog when they "do their business" outside, they learn exactly what it is you want. Pretty soon it becomes second nature.

Great post Sammy and I agree with you as usual!

On a similar topic and one that I've really focused upon in the past 2-3 years and really mastered in the past year is figuring out proper or effective communication. An example of great communication gone bad that many use... a girl misses a ball that required a dive to get a glove on the ball... coaches all yell... "Sally, get dirty! C'mon, get low and get dirty, that was your ball"... well, my take on that is the word "dirty" is terrible in every way. Using other words later in the day and even better at practice instead of .003 seconds after the lost opportunity occurred, the long term affect would actually be changed with a strategic approach but since we are so caught up in the moment and worried about the wins/losses, emotions dominate real coaching decisions. What's a better way... weeeeelll that's a hard answer. You have to know what THAT PARTICULAR player responds to first and this requires real coaching to begin. Some players may like to know why the coach thinks it's even remotely possible to get the ball, another may see it as a play to get hurt, another has no confidence in diving one side or way or the other, and sometimes even the most athletic player may have taken a play off and it could have been that simple. But since us coaches know it all, did we pause for say 5 seconds to process it all before blurting it out!? Much of this is age dependent but the key is the coach MUST BE OLD ENOUGH and smart enough ALREADY to differentiate the difference between all of the scenarios and apply to proper approach, if not, grow up as a coach and figure it out. This also means "coaching your assistants coaches, parents, grand parents, and the like to be on the same page and not slam the player either. Girls are smart and because many emotions are internalized you have to see it from their POV and you had better find how to communicate with them properly as individuals and a group... not knee-jerk in the moment for I'm 100000% certain they already knew that they didn't dive for one of 100 reasons. So, use a little notebook if you must to write it down and turn it into a new drill or repeat an existing drill and you may never even need to call Sally out... she'll know 3 days later that the drill is for her and you wouldn't even have to say a word. Funny how that works out. Most of the time, it's the coaches fault for never even showing them how to get down low, layout out, land on their side, or catch and throw from their knees, or whatever really needed to happen and what's really behind the phrase "get dirty".... think about it... what the heck does that mean!? Should they scoop a glove full of sand/dirt/brick dust and pour it down their pants or over their heads???

Boy, I wish I did this 7-9 years ago... where would I be today? It's a process, a marathon, and I'm telling you what a fun one for sure!