The place I always come to for softball advice :)

[default]

I coach rec ball....I shouldn't but they needed someone so I stepped up. I have worked very hard educating myself on the game and how to teach the kids. My problem is the parents, aka assistant coaches. I have one that likes to be very demeaning to the girls. I don't like that. I have found that girls respond better to a soft voice and positive reinforcement. I have another that just doesn't show up and neither does her daughter and then she is angry with me because her daughter isn't progressing. I know I can boot the assistant coaches but it would be nice to have a little help. What do I do with this? How would you approach this situation? Games haven't even started yet and I am ready to be done

 

[default]

Have a one on one with the Assistant stating no recruiters will be at any of these games, and their job as a coach is to teach and be a positive role midel for the kids. Have a meeting with all parents stating the goals of the league which usually is to have the girls know a little more than when you first got them. Tell the parents to just let the girls #1 have fun,, blow bubbles, cheer, learn the game, get dirty and if they already forgot read number one again.

Good luck with it, I miss those times with the rec kids...

 

[default]

I commend you for volunteering your time, if your the coach, then your the boss. Tell the parent that says their daughter is not progressing that is the reason why there is practices, and they are not showing for.

 

[default]

Ooh I even missed that one Freddie can't learn if they aren't there......

 

[default]

Man do you have your hands full.

You need to find better assistants.... In rec ball I always encouraged my parents to come to practice and just play with their daughters and her firends. Out of a dozen kids you'll find a few parents that will come on a regular basis, they are just waiting for the invite. The assistant that doesn't show-up won't be much of a problem to replace find a warm body with a smile, if he/she can catch even better.

The bigger problem is the demeaning coach..... It has got to stop. If he (assume its a guy) interacts with his daughter that way, that has got to stop. He will destroy a team and **** the fun right out.

How to do it? the league will frown on beating him with a stick so you'll have to try to talk but don't expect miracles maybe just damage control.

 

[default]

#1 Great job stepping up and coaching! Coaching would be so much easier if the adults didn't act like 3 year olds who don't get there way. All the above statements are solid advice. Talk to the parents and the demeaning assistant, with him, lay down the law..... he straightens up or he walks. Tell the parents they need to get the girls there on time every time if they want there dd to improve. Above all else let those girls have fun, I'm assuming a younger age? If so instill the love for the game, I don't know what I'd be doing if it weren't for Al Myer my dd rec coach from Fairless. I owe him a great debt, and so does my dd. She's moving on to h.s. next yr, still playing and loving the game because of great coaching early on. Again I commend you for stepping up and coaching. Sometimes you may think its hopeless, but wait till those girls light up and smile and really start playing and enjoying the games. Its all worth it then. Stick with it for the girls, its all about them anyway!

 

[default]

Hang in there too, as its all worth the efforts as when ten years later they are waiting on you at a restaurant or grocery store and say how much fun it was, there's the reward for all the work.

 

[default]

Thanks for your involvement. The kids will remember you for a long long time.

We have always had a "one voice" rule on our teams since the kids were 10u's. That voice is the head coaches. From the time the players get out of the car at practice, and from when they enter the softball complex for tournaments, the voice they are to hear is that of the HC. Asst coaches can help and talk to the players during practice at the request of the HC. During games Asst coaches have responsibilities that they watch. Some asst coaches have certain responsibilities during drills and they communicate during those. But the evaluation, direction and teaching comes from the HC - period. Our parents know that as well. Heck if the parents feel the need to talk constantly they are assigned a special seat on the outfield fence down the right field line (that is where I was assigned when I was a Stingray parent). When coaching is done right there has to be one voice, one vision and one person in charge. When the kids know who that person is they tend to listen and respond better. Constant banter from others muddies the water. As they get older and "specialty coaches" are involved that changes that dynamic a bit. But even in that situation the HC is still the motivator, director, teacher and disciplinarian. Tough job!!

 

[default]

Dang Amy, you're brave!! Nip it in the bud!!! At the rec level your main objectives are to make each girl a better player, get everyone playing time (be fair, although fair isn't always equal) and for them all to have fun. Anyone who is going to prevent this from happening needs to be dealt with quickly. Your commitment is to the girls and the parents need to know that their job is to show up on time and cheer for and support ALL the girls and the coaches, that's it.

 

[default]

I sympathize with you MacieC... I too still coach a rec league team, as well, for my youngest. It is a completely different from travel. I could probably write a 5 page article regarding the trials and triumphs between the two. You just have to take the approach of focusing on the good in rec ball. Unfortunately, dealing with the overly "negative" assistant just comes with the territory sometimes. Usually stems from another thread that is going around "that he/she thinks their DD is better than she really is". Their child may be better than the majority of the girls in rec, therefore, they get a little over the top when the other kids aren’t up to par. Sometimes you just have to override their negativity with excessive positivity and find a way to help them realize that these kids come from all different situations at home. And yelling at them negatively is doing nothing for them. The bottom line is that 80% of the girls who play rec ball are just doing it for something to do and to have fun. In our league, we have 15 kids on the team. So, you just have to focus on the having fun part and try to incorporate learning at the same time. You will find out quickly who those 20% are that want to get better and will take what you do at practice and work at home to do so. For the others, you just have to keep them interested in the game and hope they continue to get better as the season goes. Because of the limited practice time in rec ball, I typically don’t start seeing improvements in most of the kids until the third week of games.
When it does finally "click", it is very rewarding though. As Hilliarddad said , as its all worth the efforts when you are at a restaurant or grocery store and the kids yells "coach!!" and says how much fun it was. My biggest reward is seeing the same kids out there the next year because I know I did my part to help them enjoy this game and they wanted to play again.​

 

[default]

Tell the demeaning coach that even tho the Rec softball world is a small world, their actions are still a reflection of you. You're in charge and this method is not what you are all about. It doesn't matter if you know everything or anything, you still have your name tattoo'd on this project and you want them to tone it down or be less involved in any team actions in the future. Any reasonable person should understand this. Having said that you can expect a negative reaction. lol. Use your people skills to persuade them to try it your way. More of a sugar and honey kinda coach instead of the old military drill sergeant tactics now banned from the service. The no show parent/coach simply needs to be told they need to be there to learn anything. It is their right to not come to every function but don't expect to get everything from the program like the other kids if they miss at any time. It's easy to point out the ones that show up for everything because they normally are happier and play better than most of the others. There are exceptions but point out average kids reach average levels of skill depending on how much effort they put into the experience. Their daughter may still be average but at a lower skill level because they haven't attended each event. This is no different than school. Kids that are home-schooled can still keep up if a qualified person is helping them do so. If not, they'll show up at school after some time off and be noticably behind the others both intellectually and socially. Good luck!

 

[default]

Same goes for me. Al and his Wife Julie coached me since I was 12 and I owe them so much. Without them, I wouldn't be the athlete that I am today. It all started with a coach stepping up...

 

[default]

Kudos for stepping up!

I take it from other posts by you that this is 10U. At that age and younger, you should try to get as many parents and siblings involved in practices as possible and encourage them to also practice frequently on their own. This is also a good way to identify candidates to be your assistants.

Head coaches have to manage and coach their assistants as well as the players.

- Demeaning coach: You have to talk privately with them about it. One way to broach the subject is to say you've received comments/complaints from parents about their negative approach and you've noticed it too. It will be more productive if you tell them what you want them to do instead. My advice for all youth coaches is to focus their interactions with players on 2 things - instruction (i.e. what to do and why) and encouragement. Wrap up by telling them you want their help, but it has to be done within your team guidelines/philosophies.

- Missing coach/player: Why has her DD missed practices - is it a schedule conflict for DD or that a parent can't get her there? If it is a ride issue, see if she can get a ride with someone else on the team. What has she been doing on her own? If the parent is an assistant, she should be working with DD to at least make up for missing practices.

 

[default]

Thanks so much everyone! This is going to be a challenging year to say the least....assistant coach nevershowsup, informed me today that I need to allow all of the girls on the team to be pitchers. I have 4 girls that are currently taking pitching lessons and they are my pitchers. She said "well I see what we have and I am sure one of the others would be better." OMG I am not going to make the season with this one!!!

 

[default]

When I was coaching my youngest, it was 10U, we along with the rest of the softball rec world, had a dearth of pitching, but there were girls who wanted and expected, to pitch in games. So we worked on it every practice, and once a week, the girls who wanted to pitch had to throw to one of our catchers with everybody watching and a coach whose dd wasn't pitching calling strikes. The rule was everybody who wanted to pitch had to throw at least half of their pitches for strikes. If you did, you got in that week's rotation. I don't know if this was the right thing to do, and hopefully we didn't scar anyone emotionally. But it was all there for anybody to see which girls could do it, which girls worked at it to get better and which ones just talked but didn't work. And we had no complaints.