What would you Do?

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Here is something for you to chomp on....What is a coach to do when he's faced with taking a kid who's parents or parent has been a cancer to every team his kid has played on. I know what DADDY would do...What would you do!....That rhymed...PHENOMINAL! Oh and I forgot ..their so dilusional about there own kids talent they start hating on everyone elses?

 

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I have to say ( I am a little concerened about your fetish with the Andrew guy) :-? You might want to talk to a doc about this.

I think all teams should be picked with the parents in mind!! In this circle we all run in the word usally travels FAST about parents and also other things I would think if you already know he or she is a cancer and you still choose to pick them, then you might not complain when a situation occurs.

 

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Daddy,

You might want to listen up here. If you know you are dealing with a "cancer" and choose to take the player.. you get what you ask for. If you have the ego to think that you can cure cancer... you will learn an important lesson at the cost of your better players. Nix the cancer.

I also agree... lose the Dice picsand join those who want to talk softball. I could easily add pics on every post, but it is becoming tiresome. Talk softball....and leave the Dice at home.

 

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I know this may sound bad but from my advice don't pick them. It this is a high school situation then it may be a little different because of the board and administration pressure, but if this was an ASA team then don't pick them.

 

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JOHNNIES "YES SIR!"

I know the dice pic has nothing to do with softball but the topic does! Oh and JOHNNIES who moderates the sight durring the wee hours of the knight?

 

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You would be surprised...

Bear and I are always on duty....

 

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During the younger days I would pick the player. Now, forget it. Makes you wonder about some (but not all) postings this late in the year of players needing teams. Yes, it can and did make for a loooooooong year with a bad parent. Lesson learned.

 

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My opinion is that it depends on the player. If the player has the talent and the positive attitude to play on the team, then I always give the player a chance. However, I will address the parent beforehand, and lay out all of the ground rules. I will of course also have a conversation about their reputation, and the ramifications to them not adhering to my rules. This is really hard to do, but it usually pays dividends. The kid can not help who her parents are, and I would hate to short change a kid because of the stupidity of an adult.

Now, if the kid has a "chip" on her shoulder, or a bad attitude as well, I walk away with a clear conscience.

 

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If we are talking about a player new to the team or the organization, I would have to say that my responsibility to, in order of priority, returning families and other new families, would be to take a pass, of course after really being thorough in an objective determination of how the reputation was earned and what is factual and what is out of context or untrue, I have over the years run into situations in which the poor reputation had more to do with a difference in philosophy than anything else, think about the many times we have watched and heard about athletes given a "change of scenery" and blossoming in the new environment.

I have always tried hard to avoid "visiting the sins of the parent upon the child", and if we made a mistake in choosing a new family, will do everything possible to salvage and avoid the loss of a player because of poor behavior by the parents, however, if they just don't get it and don't seem to want to get it, the responsibility to the other families and players must take precedence, the really unfair thing about all ofthis is we have found ourselves and the others, players and parents, tolerating behavior in a situation in which the player in question was a "rainmaker", I noticed a few posters indicated that with years of experience you learn that even then it is not worth the unpleasantness inherent with a family of this type, that I think is learning from your mistakes.

Good question, and good answers, guess it comes down to what the goals and objectives are for your team, I think any team needs to establish in writing their core philospohies and expectations of teams, coaches, players, and parents, and then make sure EVERYONE knows them and knows they are just not words, that you believe in them and believe that they will make everyones experience on that team or organization a good one, communication with players and families is paramount, many times when you make it very clear what is expected, families that cannot understand and live by these philosophies and expectations just move on.

 

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No chance, even if the kid is a great player, there are other great players out there with great parents too!

 

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Sad as it is for the girl I would say pass.
One bad parent can ruin the whole team.

 

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Most of the time it isn't a descision between great player and bad parents. If she is a great player, it is very rare that you have problems with the parents, because their kids will usually be playing the most anyway. It always seems to be the #9,10,11 or #12 player's parents that are the problems because they can't accept that their stud is a #9 - 12. They don't understand that even the US Olympic team has a #12 player. It doesn't mean they sukk, it just means they are on a very good team. If you as a parent can't accept the competition that your kid will have to endure, then find a weaker team where she can shine amongst her team mates if that is what is important to you.

 

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HEY RINGER! BINGO!!

 

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I think the obvious answer is to remove the "cancer" from the team, as it does eventually poison the atmosphere for everyone. The one problem is that you don't always know who the cancer is until after they join the team and they act out during the course of the season. The sad part is the kids are always the ones to suffer the effects from these parents including their own kids. Also, I think they forget that coaches do talk and I'm sure wonder why they've been on 3-4 teams in two years...just my 2 cents



Tribe rules!

 

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As if dealing with the source of the cancer is not bad enough, the problem gets worse when in some cases the cancer metastasizes. Other players who do not necessarily share the same plight, or even in some cases one of your best players, is convinced the coach(es) are not being fair and they all walk. Usually the cause is a big-mouthed parent who finds a willing ear or two, or three,...So what would have been an easy situation to deal with by following your instincts turns into a disaster. So my advice is if you know, let it go. People have to learn to be responsible for their actions. A parent has to feel real good about shooting off at the mouth and getting DD excused from the team. FF

 

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fpfanatic.... ditto.

 

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Wondered how long it would take to get around to this topic this year
Just my opinion but sometimes there is that kid who has the misfortune to be labeled a cancer or worse carry a labeled parental cancer tag.....although I believe there are very few who fit that category, admittedly there are some.......and darn good players who could help a team.......hmmmm....our work starts in August at tryouts and continues on until school ball starts...a short break and then start again until the following years tryouts......whew softball really is year round.....what a shame it would be to have the majority of the players, coaches, and parents walking on eggshells all year to appease a cancer....A good team can have great players but a great team has great players and harmony.
I say look for the good athletes, with good team habits....forget about any potential problems.