Attitude-

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There are a lot of parents out there that are just entering in to the world of travel ball. Many of us have outstanding athletes. We spend all summer catering to our dd to realize when the season end they have a big attitude problem.


How do you pump your dd up to know that she is the best but also have her maintain a good attitude?
What suggestions do you all have to help dd's be great?
What suggestions do you have for parents?

 

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Wow really good question! Let me guess DD is either 13 or 16.......Frankly , I would like to know some of the stratagies too.....it is hard when you are trying to raise a strong, confident woman and not an arrogant witch with a B......

 

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Tough questions, and maybe someone out there has the answers. I will make a couple of suggestions. Attitude problems don't just appear at the end of the season. Sometimes we may only realize it has developed when a season comes to an abrupt end. Most teams go to Nationals somewhere and very few walk away with the 1st place trophy, which means nearly everyone ends on a loss without "next weekend" to look forward to. Additionally Nationals throw everyone together away from home for a week. Lack of normal rest patterns, eating habits, inability to get away from teammates often bring out the conflicts that have been an undertone for the team all year long.
Make sure you DD is always a good teammate, whether on the bench or in the field. They need to learn to accept praise and criticism from coaches and teammates during practice and games (note I did not say parents). They also have to learn to pick up a teammate when they are down, but also be willing to be picked up. If we only pump them up and try to convince them they are the best, expect problems. If we help them learn from mistakes, defeats and failures they will learn to be better balanced adults.

 

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Good stuff dogs..
Remind them that the drive comes from within, but she is no better a person than anyone else, nobody puts their pants on both legs at a time, it is ok to believe in yourself, but there is no room for arrogance. Keep her focused on talking in the "we" vs. me or I modes. Tell her It is also okay to learn from a team or player you are playing against, as we know there are many star players out there that are fun to watch no matter win, lose or draw. Be a great player, but be a better person first, that's what will get her through life, as we forget sometimes it's only a game.

At the end of the day can you stand back with your spouse and say "we did okay with this one".... As It does start with us as well.

 

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We are having a hard time defining the fine line between confident and COCKY!

 

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Someone with the "right" answer for this one stands to make $$$millions$$$$

I have always felt that a "bad" attitude that occurs within the framework of competition can be a positive sign. While not a good thing, usually means you have a real competitor on your hands and as a coach it is our job to help them re-direct their reactions. I guess what I mean is that it usually means they care about the results. Not saying that it can't be a problem, just that the alternative is not so good either, i.e. the "who cares?" attitude.

As for the just plain old meanness... A much bigger project in my opinion. Difficult to change personalities. Hopefully there are enough positive influences to point to as models.

 

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Honestly, it sounds like softball is way too important in the original posters household if her attitude is that bad. as much as it pains some to hear, the world isnt yellow fiber optic. i believe in engouraging your kid, but it sounds like youre taking it a tad too far. what does she do when she realizes she isnt as "great" as you made her out to be?
Teach her to be "great" teammate like suggested, a "great" student, and most important, a "great" person, and i doubt the attitude will evn be a issue. the Softball will take care of itself.......

 

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I feel it comes from respect. We all need to respect our opponents, caoches, parents, teammates and ourselves druing competition. That does not mean we accept failure with a smile on our face but respect the criticism and learning that comes from it as an opportunity to improve ourselves.

As our dds grow up travel ball will be one of the experiences that has showed them how to deal with life. Hopefully they will learn to stay positive and maintain focus on their job and helping others do their job when bases are loaded with a full count two outs and the tying run on third in the bottom of 7. Sometimes the run will score and sometimes it won't but did I do what my team needed and expected me to do. If we respect those involved I believe the answer will be yes.

 

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I have seen girls work hard and put all of her focus in to the game. Never smart off to coach or team. Get in the car and watch out. With ours, it has been 3 months of h*** trying to get her attitude back in check.

I know--it should never have gotten out of hand. But it really does sneak up on you.

Okay parents/coaches: at what age does it stop!!

 

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Consistency!! Parents are in control. Teach them team work, leadership, and values consistently and they will turn out just fine. I bet all of us would agree that all kids, expecially girls, go through "their" year.

Just like hitter23 said, don't let softball consume your life. Balance. Enjoy your weekend and work hard on your game but don't forget the chores, family and of course the pool.

 

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Unfortunately the problem was allowed to develop - by both the parents and the team's coaching staff.

 

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Parents help form the attitudes and behaviours of their dd at an early age, we all know that as parents. ?If you start telling your dd she is a superstar in coach-pitch softball don't be surprised when she walks around with a Barry Bonds attitude when she is 14 years old. ?I'm not saying you shouldn't praise your dd, you should, honestly and often. ?But in my coaching experience, the worst player attitudes come along with the worst parent attitudes. ?Common issues including blaming other players or the coaching staff for losses, continually pointing out the weaknesses of fellow teammates, making fun of lessor competition, and just plain meaness. ?When parents condone or participate in that behaviour a coach can not change the player's attitude. ?No one...no one, is bigger than the team...at least on my teams! ?When a highly skilled player with a bad attitude leaves a team (along with their parents) I'm always surprised how little they are missed. ?The best way to handle bad attitudes---zero tolerance IMHO.

 

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Papabear you hit the nail on the head. Softball is simply(I know some will feel differently) one small part of life. Attitudes are learned at home. Parents have to have the ability to draw the line and say enough is enough. We are the role models. As much as we hate to think otherwise the vast majority of players out there won't make a living playing sports. The real focus of sports should be learning the skills necessary to succeed elsewhere.

 

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Here's what ya do ,....If there's any type of disrespect or rebellion in a girls attitude ,..you set her hind end on the bench .and you leave her there until she gets the message . If she's your star hitter or pitcher,...like I said ,..you leave her there until she humble's herself . Nip it in the bud ,..and most of the time thats the end of it ,....let it brew and your fighten it for the rest of the season .
Parents ,...if you see your daughter sulking or acting ignorant in a game tell the coach to pull her . I did it and it works . My daughter was struggleing on the rubber and was moved from the rubber to 1st . I saw the dreaded rebellious look ,...gave her a couple plays to loose it . She insisted on carrying the attitude ,..so I went to the coach and told him ,..get her out now and sit her until she understands this is unexceptable . Happened once this summer ,...betcha it never happens again . Now write me the check for the Million bucks ! LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!! Its all about parents and coach's sticking together.

 

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Rod03....Your check is in the mail...thank you it so starts with the parents.

 

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I like to have my players see the good that others do. ?This takes their focus off themselves and helps them take notice of the hard work and skills of those around them. ?We point out plays after games, during practices, etc, and always about someone else. ?They enjoy hearing about themselves, but seem to get more out of praising their teammates. ?When we play against or watch other teams, I try to point out good things they are doing. ?Again, moves focus away from them. ?I will praise my girls, cheer for them, encourage them with all that is in me. ?I demand that they do the same for others. ?

 

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Good post 14Heat ,...I'll even share a bit of my million on that one .

 

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Found this a few years ago, only wish I could take credit.

Being a softball parent is probably the toughest job on the field. It is hard to do well, and seldom does anyone applaud you when you do it right. But to the team?and to your player?your job is exceptionally important. The responsibility is enormous. Do your best to be a good representative of your team?and your daughter's #1 supporter:


1. Softball is a SPORT - Kids are supposed to have FUN playing softball.

2. Your daughter might not be as good of an athlete as you were
when you were in school. Don't force her to be something she isn't.

3. If you weren't a good athlete in school, it is not your daughter's job to
make up for what you didn't do.

4. She knows when she makes mistakes. Catch her doing something right.

5. Teach, but only teach when you know the right things.

6. BE PATIENT! If you are the parent of a pitcher there are many body "mechanics"
she needs to master before she can start throwing hard. THEN, she
has to master both mechanics AND speed before she should start working on
accuracy. Be patient!

7. Umpires do their best and ARE trying to be fair. If you disagree with an
umpire's call, try to keep it to yourself. Your daughter doesn't need to think that
the problems she might be experiencing can be blamed on the umpire.

8. Not all good parents make good softball coaches.

9. Not all good coaches make good softball parents.

10. Again, softball is a SPORT. Let your daughter have the privilege of:
(1) doing it on her own, (2) doing her best, and (3) having FUN doing it.
Win or lose, your objective is to make her feel good about herself and make sure
she is smiling at the end of the game.

 

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I like the recurring theme that it is simply a game...a game that can teach so much more than rocket arms, sluggers and pitching stars. It is OK to demand effort and positive attitudes...

About that million...................I'm a little shy!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

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Above all...YOU are the parent. What you say goes! and stick to it!!