"mine left it on from 12 on through 18s and never stepped on it"
Well I would hope she didn't step on it since it was on her head the whole time.
Like I said before, I'm not the one behind the plate, she is. So whatever makes her feel comfotable as a catcher, I'll support.
She's never actually broke her helmet, just the screws in the top that hold the mask piece on so it's all been easy repairs and she's certainly never broken it once per game...maybe like once or twice per season.
So I guess as long as they're safe, feel comfortable with it, and make the catches and plays at the plate with it on or off, either way is acceptable and just like many specifics of softball, it's more player's preference than anything else. JMO