coach vs player

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What do you do when you get on a team and after practices and tournament games find out the coach and ur DD have conflicts? I confronted the coach, she just said the DD has attitude, that their was no conflicts, My DD is a pitcher, we asked to pitch in a game,the coach said she would lok at her at a practice, after many times asking when she was going to look at her-she just put it off, coach still never look at her after she said she would-she lied to our family,
We had a chance to play for another team on a weekend,my DD pitch and played very well-when our coach found out, she kicks us off the team! we still have two tournament games left for the year,should we get some refund?
The coach never called the parents only the DD, I emailed the president of the origanization,who is a pitching coach for Dayton/Springfield area,to give us a call. She has not called us.
What is one suppose to do?

 

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This one sounds very 1 sided. When she took your dd on the team it obviously was not as a pitcher or you wouldn't have been asking her to look at her at practices. A coach will usually only take a certain number of pitchers for a season and if your dd wasn't taken as a pitcher, than she most likely will NOT see the circle for the entire season. You will lose the pitchers you have if you are giving their mound time to a fielder who someday has aspirations of pitching.
I'm a huge advocate of guest playing, I think it is great for the girls but you have to keep your current coach informed of what you are doing. You can't sneak off and play for another team and expect the coach not to be mad about it. In a way, by replacing you they are doing the same thing to you that you did to them and you do not like it AT ALL.
You will not get a refund. When you signed your papers, you committed to the team and by leaving it and playing for another team without keeping them informed, you pretty much broke your obligation.
It sounds like your dd was taken as a fielder of some kind and you hoped the coach would see her pitch and change her to a pitcher. When that didn't happen, you claim you were lied to and cheated and jumped to another team. When they found out, they booted you and now you can't understand why you were replaced and you want your money back. :lmao:

 

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This one is a sticky one and there are not gonna be any perfect solutions.

First off depending on your daughters age group it may be more appropriate for her to speak with the coach directly. On our 14U team we tell the girls from the start if there is an issue about playing time, fielding or what ever, that they need to go to the coach not thier parents. Most of these girls are in HS and have the same rules.

Not sure where your daughter fits in on the pitching scale if she would be the 1, 2 or 3 pitcher, what she was told when she made the team. Her success rate etc that is tough to comment on. We tell our pitchers we will go with what is working, just because you're the number one today does not mean you the number one tomorrow. We do try to give them all some time in pool play but on Sundays, we play to win and that usually means at least one of our 3 pitchers will not see the rubber.

As far as the other tournament goes, this also is a 2 way street. Did the coach know you were going to play in that tournament? A courtesy to the coach just letting her know may have helped, may not have. Plus you need to look at roosters and sanctions. This could have an impact on both teams depending on both situations.

As far as the refund goes, the team has already paid its tournament fees, uniform bills, sanctioning fees and insurance fees, there may not be any money available to give back. Again it all comes down to communication that was set up from the start. If she was kicked off due to eligibility that may be a reason for no refund, but being kicked off is still a hard thing to swallow I am sure.

I am not sure if I helped and hope I do not sound like I am taking sides. Communcation is usually the key to everything. There are more experienced and more knowledgable people on here that will have different opinions. Hopefulle someone like Buckeye Heat (@cgs) or Klump will see this, they usaullay have some very good advice.

 

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Ahhh Klump you were quicker with your typing than me. I knew you would handle this.

 

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My DD is a pitcher...

If she doesn't pitch in games or practices, then how do you know? If you think she is but coach thinks she isn't, guess who's going to win?

I confronted the coach...

Me thinks me sees the problem. It's all becoming a lot clearer now.

 

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P.S. - Let me guess - 12U?

 

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14u-she is a 8th grader,we join the team when they had 9 players, they were still looking to fill all positions, we told her at the beginning she pitches,plays infield and outfield, after we join, three more join the team after us, and the very last girl, says she pitches and she puts her in,that game-Especially the team were called the one game wonder because out of all the tournaments games we only won one-b/c of pitching, thats when we reminded her that our dd pitches, that she is faster then the two that was pitching, I just mad b/c she said she would look at her and never did, but then pitch another girl who said she pitches and she was the worst one of them all. If your team is not winning games,wouldn't you be looking at girls who say they can pitch and just give a look.If you wanted to win games!!!!

 

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I definitely see the issue is probably 2 way.

A complete lack of communication.

If you expected your daughter to pitch you should have stressed that. Pitchers tell coaches "I Pitch......or I am a Pitcher.......then silence" not I can pitcher and play IF and play OF. When I here that I here good athlete who can play where ever needed. I do not hear she is a pitcher......

Another thing, you should ALWAYS tell your coach you are going to pick up on another team. But for my wife, once June 1st hits............forget about getting any blessing. And be ready to stay with the new team if you go without her blessing. Once our season hits she does not want her girls playing anywhere else. She has off weekends booked so you can REST for her team not play for someone else.

It almost always seems to boil down to a lack of communication.

 

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Definitely sounds like a communication problem. Always Always keep the communication lines open.

 

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we always refund... prorate from Jan 1 to August 1 by day... team costs may go up but all know this.

Open communication is like saying "common sense"... if common sense was so common why don't more people have it. Talking out both sides of the mouth is probably a key thing here... just be honest. All else will work our more clean (this is to the coach).

 

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What do you do when you get on a team and after practices and tournament games find out the coach and ur DD have conflicts? I confronted the coach, she just said the DD has attitude, that their was no conflicts, My DD is a pitcher, we asked to pitch in a game,the coach said she would lok at her at a practice, after many times asking when she was going to look at her-she just put it off, coach still never look at her after she said she would-she lied to our family,
We had a chance to play for another team on a weekend,my DD pitch and played very well-when our coach found out, she kicks us off the team! we still have two tournament games left for the year,should we get some refund?
The coach never called the parents only the DD, I emailed the president of the origanization,who is a pitching coach for Dayton/Springfield area,to give us a call. She has not called us.
What is one suppose to do?

Did your daughter try out for this team or was she accepted on the team sight unseen?

Len

 

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Agree with what has already been said by others - communication with coach, expectation/role when joined the team, discuss (not CONFRONT) coach with issues - is key.

What irks me is the "winning = pitching" mind set. Ask how many pitchers would like to be on the field by themselves and still expect to win the game - my guess would be "NONE". Sure, younger age groups can benefit by overpowering pitching, but without any defense or hitting, you won't win many games. Our team would have won more games that we did this year if there was a defensive play or two here and there, or that timely hit needed to extend the lead or get back into the game.

 

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Good points made and I'd like to point out, you really shouldnt just go around being a pick up player. Playing in qualifiers etc., can make you an illegal player and could tick a coach off. That is why its standard practice to get your coaches OK before playing as a pick up player since she/he would know if you would be putting your DD's status on her current team in jeprody.

 

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This one sounds very 1 sided. When she took your dd on the team it obviously was not as a pitcher or you wouldn't have been asking her to look at her at practices. A coach will usually only take a certain number of pitchers for a season and if your dd wasn't taken as a pitcher, than she most likely will NOT see the circle for the entire season. You will lose the pitchers you have if you are giving their mound time to a fielder who someday has aspirations of pitching.
I'm a huge advocate of guest playing, I think it is great for the girls but you have to keep your current coach informed of what you are doing. You can't sneak off and play for another team and expect the coach not to be mad about it. In a way, by replacing you they are doing the same thing to you that you did to them and you do not like it AT ALL.
You will not get a refund. When you signed your papers, you committed to the team and by leaving it and playing for another team without keeping them informed, you pretty much broke your obligation.
It sounds like your dd was taken as a fielder of some kind and you hoped the coach would see her pitch and change her to a pitcher. When that didn't happen, you claim you were lied to and cheated and jumped to another team. When they found out, they booted you and now you can't understand why you were replaced and you want your money back. :lmao:

I was saying these same exact things when I read the original post. As a coach that would make me mad, playing for another team without at a minimum letting me know wouldnt be acceptable.

 

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I definitely see the issue is probably 2 way.

A complete lack of communication.

If you expected your daughter to pitch you should have stressed that. Pitchers tell coaches "I Pitch......or I am a Pitcher.......then silence" not I can pitcher and play IF and play OF. When I here that I here good athlete who can play where ever needed. I do not hear she is a pitcher......

Another thing, you should ALWAYS tell your coach you are going to pick up on another team. But for my wife, once June 1st hits............forget about getting any blessing. And be ready to stay with the new team if you go without her blessing. Once our season hits she does not want her girls playing anywhere else. She has off weekends booked so you can REST for her team not play for someone else.

It almost always seems to boil down to a lack of communication.

Ditto!!!

 

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Thanks ALL-The coach is a 21 year old girl, whos riding her daddys tailcoat. She still has not have the nerves to talk to me. Her daddy emailed me. I know for fact 6 girls are leaving the team. She doesn't know how to coach and to communicate.

 

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You obviously are missing the message... and its coat tails...just sayin'

 

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I'd think a coach would be looking at practice, does the team not practice? Even as a 21 yr old that obviously played the game before can see if a kid really is a pitcher or not, if your kid pitched in practice, then I'll assume she didn't meet the coach's expectations. If she didn't pitch in practice, then you should of said something then! Nothing worse than parents asking about playing time, especially during a tournament weather winning or losing and especially at the 14U age level!

 

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14u-she is a 8th grader,we join the team when they had 9 players, they were still looking to fill all positions, we told her at the beginning she pitches,plays infield and outfield, after we join, three more join the team after us, and the very last girl, says she pitches and she puts her in,that game-Especially the team were called the one game wonder because out of all the tournaments games we only won one-b/c of pitching, thats when we reminded her that our dd pitches, that she is faster then the two that was pitching, I just mad b/c she said she would look at her and never did, but then pitch another girl who said she pitches and she was the worst one of them all. If your team is not winning games,wouldn't you be looking at girls who say they can pitch and just give a look.If you wanted to win games!!!!

I would have taken a look at her if I were the coach, especially if the other pitchers were struggling. Always trying to improve the team. Just like everyone else has said, definately a lack of communication.

 

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What do you do when you get on a team and after practices and tournament games find out the coach and ur DD have conflicts? I confronted the coach, she just said the DD has attitude, that their was no conflicts, My DD is a pitcher, we asked to pitch in a game,the coach said she would lok at her at a practice, after many times asking when she was going to look at her-she just put it off, coach still never look at her after she said she would-she lied to our family,
We had a chance to play for another team on a weekend,my DD pitch and played very well-when our coach found out, she kicks us off the team! we still have two tournament games left for the year,should we get some refund?
The coach never called the parents only the DD, I emailed the president of the origanization,who is a pitching coach for Dayton/Springfield area,to give us a call. She has not called us.
What is one suppose to do?

First of all, the President of the organization has been out of town in Tennesse since the 17th of July with her 10U team at the World Series with no access to the internet. She just returned last night, came home with an internet outage due to the storms. My DD actually plays on the team. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out who you are talking about if anyone is familiar with this organization.

Secondly, the coach in question was an assitant to my DD's 10U team last year, and we had no issues with her at all. She has been nothing but fair.

If you are going to come on a public forum and tell your story, try telling the whole story. Either you can or I can.