College Teams and Drinking

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Underage drinking, smoking, drugs, sex etc. have become a problem in our society because of a culture of acceptance. I once worked with a lady who gave her son condoms because "he's going to do it anyway". Wow! I was blown away by that logic! Everyone's doing it, so it must be right! No wonder some kids grow up to be career criminals...

 

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all you have to do is check out your kids myspaces. look at all their friends and their friends friends.. (yes this is consider lack of trust or invading their privacy but in todays world you should) parents would be amazed at how these kids 17-19 yrs (i'm sure even younger) are non stop talking about different parties they are attending.. which ones they are getting drunk at.. and even posting pictures half dressed and holding alcoholic beverages in their hands.. is it peer pressure? i know these kids parents... they would be shocked.. why they are not into their children's lifes and checking on this themselves i have no ideal. I would say from the posts on this thread that we parents are the minority and that we talk to our children and they feel comfortable enough to be open and talk to us about these things and keeping them busy with sports ?and with example we are leading them to make the right choices in life. Not saying every choice will be right or we may not like every choice but i feel we have given them the right tools to be a not only a good softball player but a good person. Underage drinking isn't right and shouldn't be tolerated but its happening...
thanks for letting me ramble........... ?

 

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all you have to do is check out your kids myspaces. look at all their friends and their friends friends.. (yes this is consider lack of trust or invading their privacy but in todays world you should) parents would be amazed at how these kids 17-19 yrs (i'm sure even younger) are non stop talking about different parties they are attending.. which ones they are getting drunk at.. and even posting pictures half dressed and holding alcoholic beverages in their hands.. is it peer pressure? i know these kids parents... they would be shocked.. why they are not into their children's lifes and checking on this themselves i have no ideal. I would say from the posts on this thread that we parents ?are the minority and that we talk to our children and they feel comfortable enough to be open and talk to us about these things and keeping them busy with sports ?and with example we are leading them to make the right choices in life. Not saying every choice will be right or we may not like every choice but i feel we have given them the right tools to be a not only a good softball player but a good person. Underage drinking isn't right and shouldn't be tolerated but its happening...
thanks for letting me ramble........... ?

Not considered rambling in my opinion!

Am I a perfect parent? NOPE. I do try 24/7 to be the best I can and have the best interest of my DD in mind. Sometimes this means earlier curfews than friends or calling to check on overnight arrangments, but is that a bad thing?

The other side of it is my DD is going away to school .. one year from now I will have NO input on her overnight arrangments, her choice of friends, etc. The interesting part of that is how I will handle it! I think my DD will be just fine! ;D

 

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When it comes to college teams and drinking, I think we need to ask ourselves why underage drinking is not ok. Is it because it's against the law for those under 21, or is it because we have a moral problem with drinking, or is it because we are concerned that anyone under a certain age does not have the maturity or emotional stability to handle drinking? Or some combination of all of those?

For me, the latter of those three would be my main concern if I were involved with a college team. Yes, it's against the law for a 20-year-old to drink, but so is going 70 in a 65. My concern with it being against the law would be more of what the penalty would be, rather than the fact it's against the law. I view a 20-year-old drinking a beer about as seriously as I do a person driving 70 in a 65. I have no moral problem with drinking. So for me, that leaves the concern of the well-being of the person if she is drinking and isn't mature enough to drink responsibly.

So, you might ask, you're ok with a 14-year-old drinking if she can handle it? No, I'm not. I do think there is an age at which we need to assume that nobody is thought to be capable of drinking responsibly. For me, that age is 17. Or perhaps better yet, once someone is out of high school (graduated), then she should be able to drink as far as I'm concerned. I hope no one is alarmed by that, as age 18 was the law just 20 or so years ago.

The bottom line for me is that I would have rules in place for drinking for a college team more for strategic reasons and not for moral reasons. During the season, we obviously don't want our players getting drunk and having hangovers. We also don't want our players 21 and older getting the younger ones in trouble with the law for drinking. Out of season, I just can't see myself banning drinking for a 21 or 22-year-old. I agree a coach has every right to ban it to promote healthy bodies, just as a coach can mandate conditioning programs for the same reason. But just as I wouldn't ban pizza or candy bars, I wouldn't ban drinking out-of-season for those who can legally drink. I don't think it's realistic to expect them to follow the ban.

 

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I know all of our dds are perfect but sometimes even they will make bad choices in their lives. We as parents need to raise them so those bad choices are at a minimum and stay informed about their lives to stop them if possible. If staying informed takes a little "research " :-/ now and then we would not be doing our jobs to raise and educate our children about making their own choices. Hopefully they make as many good ones as possible. JMHO

 

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Excellent post Joe, like you read my mind!! Being a former college assistant, I think your approach is the best.