Creating a team

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I know this is like preaching to the choir but I need to share/vent/rant.

DD?s 14U team is new, have never practiced with all 11 present, and picked up their coach the weekend before the first tournament. Half the team just finished freshman year and the youngest just fininshed 7'th grade. 4 capable pitchers and 1 catcher. Each girl is skilled or they wouldn?t have been brought into the organization. The coach is a college D1 player who brought along a teammate, both ladies with impressive backgrounds and want to run DD's team with the same expectations as their college team.

The need to vent and rant is regarding parental units. Why do adults need to hassle coaches about bench/playing time or DD sitting a game because she missed practice? It doesn?t matter if coaches are college-aged or near retirement, they are in charge of the team and should be supported in their efforts. Parents should be modeling for their DD?s the way to cope with coaches and teammates who let them down, in whatever way that is perceived. Parents should be cheering their kids even when they make errors. Parents should be thanking blue for the effort instead of arguing every call that they question. Parents should be applauding every girl (yes, even the other team) when she makes a fantastic play.

The need to share is because before this Saturday afternoon, this group of girls wouldn?t chant/cheer because the majority of them out-voted the few who want to. 2 girls sit the bench each game-usually the ones sitting had long faces and didn?t cheer the team. Girls didn?t hang together between games. The sideline was quiet. Parents were busy giving their DD?s direction/instruction/criticism as well as giving the coaches a very hard time about rules, expectations, and consequences.

The coaches agreed to some team-building activities between games on Saturday so the girls grudgingly went along with it. We had fun, the girls laughed, learned about each other, exchanged phone numbers, and started forming a true team attitude. The next 2 games were amazing, we only won one of them but the girls showed more enthusiasm, played better, made fewer errors, and smiled while on the field and while sitting the bench. They still won?t cheer or chant but their chatter is impressively loud. The parental sideline was rowdy-mostly in a positive way. :yahoo:

We?ve won a total of 2 games so far but there is now a light shining to guide them toward more. Now to work on the parents. . .

 

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No one gets out of coaching because of the kids........the parents are the root of almost all issues. Not always because some coaches just bad. But in general if a parent tells a kid this stinks......the kids will follow.

 

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I sympathize with you travelin mom. We have our own set of problem parents this year as well. Several times this winter/spring, one girl on our team would make comments to my dd when my dd would ask her about an upcoming game that this girl didn't need to attend a scrimmage or indoor game (and would go to basketball instead) because her parents said she's "just playing outfield so softball doesnt't matter". The sad part is, the Coach knows about the comments and has tried to give the girl playing time at X position during pool play but the young lady just doesn't have the skills yet. I've had numerous other parents on the team tell me about other comments that this family has made (as i do my best to avoid them). This past weekend, this young ladies mother made a scene several times by cheering when other girls on the team would make a mistake.....whether it be hitting into a double play (which my kid did), or not fielding a fly ball (which my friends daughter did). Nothings worse than knowing that you have parents on YOUR team cheering when your kid makes a mistake ......ugh Ok.....i'm done ranting too

 

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I sympathize with you travelin mom. We have our own set of problem parents this year as well. Several times this winter/spring, one girl on our team would make comments to my dd when my dd would ask her about an upcoming game that this girl didn't need to attend a scrimmage or indoor game (and would go to basketball instead) because her parents said she's "just playing outfield so softball doesnt't matter". The sad part is, the Coach knows about the comments and has tried to give the girl playing time at X position during pool play but the young lady just doesn't have the skills yet. I've had numerous other parents on the team tell me about other comments that this family has made (as i do my best to avoid them). This past weekend, this young ladies mother made a scene several times by cheering when other girls on the team would make a mistake.....whether it be hitting into a double play (which my kid did), or not fielding a fly ball (which my friends daughter did). Nothings worse than knowing that you have parents on YOUR team cheering when your kid makes a mistake ......ugh Ok.....i'm done ranting too

That's easy!!!! Talk to the parents the first time this happens The second time ,their off the team.
This issue is covered in our contract. We've been blessed with awesome families so far. Bologna to let 1 or 2 families make you dread going to the next tourney
I don't know why coaches put up with this

 

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I agree - a bad seed just makes the whole experience miserable for everyone.

 

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I can relate, we have one young lady who likes to point out negative things about certain players (I think to build her own confidence). Does it in front of parents/coaches, nothing is said to her. Brings down the whole team. It doesn't take much to tear down a team's spirit.

 

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Jekyll and Hyde is all that comes to mind when reading the posts being shared. If only there were a magic potion that was required for parents before each season. It’s human nature to react to a play whether it’s a good reaction or one of sorrow. The problem is when are these emotions displayed? People are going to moan if an error occurs while opportunity due to the mistake will make others happy. I’m not sure you can separate the reactions just because it may be your daughter involved. I believe we can become too sensitive to a reaction and perhaps some thicker skin is all that’s needed.

We instruct the kids to stay focused on the task at hand and tune out any spectators. If they are listening to what others were saying all the time, they would probably quit and go home. Realistically; if they’re listening to all that stuff they might as well go home because they won’t be giving there all. Lol.

Out of control parents have been around since we started having kids. Things get taken care of. Maybe you should say something to them. Maybe they don’t realize they are doing it. Move and watch the game elsewhere. You have options. Don’t let a Jekyll and Hyde parent ruin your day.

 

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I offered the girls another team-building activity for this Saturday, one that they can hang on the dugout fence and that the parents can also do. . .the girls thought that part was cool and have readily accepted so I’ll haul the stuff to Elyria with me this weekend.

Hmmm. . .perhaps I should start a consulting company and offer the fun to other teams.

 

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I will be in Elyria, show me what ya got.....lol

 

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I'm sorry we'll miss the dugout art, but I appreciate all your creative work in taking a negative and turning it into a positive. Fantastic job. Travelinmom.

 

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Best team building ever during rain delay yesterday! 2 teams of girls who would be facing each other in the semi-final, having their clean version of a rave! Great tunes and dancing, lots of laughing, and plenty of photo ops for the adults. Coaches were even in on it! Never got to play softball but the memories will last forever.

 

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2 teams of girls who would be facing each other in the semi-final,

Unfortunately we never got to finish the quarter final games........

 

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Most of the problems can be avoided during the tryouts. Red Flag the players and parents that would not help with the team chemistry and do not offer them a spot. Now, that being done... working with the players about expectations is only part of the job... do the same with parents...and stick to your guns.