degrading parent......

[default]

OK all here is my dilemma. I have coach for several years and I have had good and bad parents, by today a parent took the cake.
A public degrading of his dd at a game in front of the kids and parents. Now I will say I have watched this father the last few weeks and he will yell out at his dd during practice for every little thing. Now this is a 10 year old. Thing is if I say something I will be told not to tell him how to parent and of course trouble will follow. When he yells at her I feel I have lost her, I try to talk to her and she will not make eye contact. I feel there is going to be a serious man issue with this one. My older dd's cannot even get through to her because they have seen this and are bothered by it. Today is the first time other players have shown tension because of it.

Now the first time this happened I pulled her to the side and got that she does like softball but her dad makes her play. I actually asked one of the girls to reach out to her at school and it helped some.

After all of this I feel she is lost and I have tried everything I have learned through the years and from raising 3 dd's of my own as a single parent.
I am at wits end and do not know the best approach to this volatile situation

I just hate it and think it is a sad sad world sometimes.

 

[default]

sent you a private message

 

[default]

Not knowing but listening to your comments, my first instinct was that he may be abusive...away from the field. I hope not and truly hate those type of people. Verbal or physical, it doesn't matter. Both are devastating.

 

[default]

I truly hope not .... One of my daughter's thought the same. Either way it tears me up inside

 

[default]

Its unfortunate that KIDS become 'undesirable' because of PARENTS

 

[default]

You're the coach....bottom line!!! The parent can raise the child however they want, but when they are in the presence of your team there are certain expectations you have of your players and your parents/fans. I would have a parents meeting and hand out some rules of conduct and penalties if they are not followed. Its sad that in this day and age that we as coaches have to tell adults how to act. Get it nipped in the butt and let everyone know you are not going to tolerate that type of behavior...and most will fall in line. If not then let them know their daughter may be excused from the team if they cant follow your team rules. Tough love...but I think it will be effective in curbing this overzealous parent.

 

[default]

You're the coach....bottom line!!! The parent can raise the child however they want, but when they are in the presence of your team there are certain expectations you have of your players and your parents/fans. I would have a parents meeting and hand out some rules of conduct and penalties if they are not followed. Its sad that in this day and age that we as coaches have to tell adults how to act. Get it nipped in the butt and let everyone know you are not going to tolerate that type of behavior...and most will fall in line. If not then let them know their daughter may be excused from the team if they cant follow your team rules. Tough love...but I think it will be effective in curbing this overzealous parent.

I would tend to agree with 90% percent with your statement except the last sentence-and I think that is the major dilemma that lebananon dad finds himself in-kicking them off the team is the easiest route, but the worst one for the child. Chances are he will just sign her up with another team, and smear your good name along the way...

 

[default]

I would never punish a child for something they cannot control. These are young ladies in the early years. But I cannot and will not argue with a parent in front of the ladies. I have addressed this at the beginning . But also I am a volunteer and he is on public property and I personally cannot tell him to leave. Even if I did he would not leave. Then this would escalate to a point worse than it is. My only option I can think of is when we play at our home park is have a board member observe and recommend action. Thank you all these are truly bad unfortunate situations

 

[default]

I would try the angle of explaining t the team parents that the organization has had phone calls with complaints about the abusive behavior towards playersand may cause the entire team to feel the effect. Maybe in a round about way, he will get the picture that he his out of line. Without a face to face, it will be tough to get your point across.

 

[default]

Oh how my heart is hurting for this child. I am sure that all of you are familiar to the abuse of our little people throughout the world. Whether I am a coach, parent or spectator I would have to become involved for the sake of that little girl! The trouble in this world is we all gripe about things such as this but do nothing!!! Right wrong or indifferent I would contact children services and explain the situation. They will have answers for you. DON'T take a back seat. TAKE ACTION! This little girl missing a little round ball and going through this certainly can lead to something VERY SERIOUS down the line! These kids and PARENTS need help! Help them get help! GOD Bless our children!

 

[default]

Me and my assistant are gonna have a very serious talk on Monday with this father. What he is doing will never make his daughter better or like the sport. She has to want to learn and do it. At the point he has her so gun shy she isn't capable of opening up and learning.

I will let you all know how it goes

 

[default]

Good luck with the meeting. If there is any hint of abuse i would report it to either the police, child services, or some other authority. Protect the children at ALL costs!

 

[default]

You will find the right words and you ARE doing the right thing. Keep us posted!! Thanks for taking action.

 

[default]

I recommend talking to the girl's mother to get more background info and recommendations on how to deal with him. You have all the right intentions and just need to find the best way to fix it.

 

[default]

you know I have not seen the mother

 

[default]

I'm not sure I am capable of telling you the best course of action...I sense your agony with this matter. What I would like to share with you is something that Pat Murphy from Alabama told us at a coaches' clinic this winter. He told us to always keep in mind when coaching...that right now, you may be the most important adult figure in one of your players' life.

Hope this helps...

 

[default]

My heart goes out for the young lady. Have you ever thought about doing a Major Paine on his *** ?