Good article about why coaches aren't respected like the old days

[coachjwb]

http://coachfore.org/2016/02/11/three-reasons-coaches-arent-respected-like-the-old-days/

 

[GoDragons]

So very true!

 

[Louuuuu]

That was a good read.

I think it all started when someone decided that all players get a Participation Trophy. And it's been snow-balling ever since. "Earned" is going on the endangered species list, while "Entitled" is becoming an epidemic.

 

[wow]

This article is spot on when it comes to accountability. The part about parents supporting the coach is so important. If as a parent you don't support the coach and believe in what they are trying to do, not only for the team but your kid, its not the right fit. The section about fearing a coach was a interchanged with respecting the coach. I would much rather my DD respect, then fear any coach.

 

[Pacerdad57]

This is what happens......

 

[CARDS]

Ahh...The good ol,days.

I understand the Accountability issue and it goes well beyond youth sports.
However; one thing I take away from the article is some of the Old School references. Folks, its not 1989. The instructional delivery resources, student/parent and school administration expectations are nowhere near what they were 20 years ago. The training styles, physical demands, legal demands are far greater now than 20 years ago. A coach 20 years ago did not have to worry about social media. Now everything is newsworthy once it hits you tube, facebook, snapchat or the OFC.

Sports itself has evolved and will continue to evolve as players get bigger, stronger, faster at earlier and earlier ages. Coaches like employers, managers, business owners, teachers etc. cannot do what they have always done. The climate of our country has changed so much the past 20 years (and it is continuing to change), so much that if one is not innovated in their approach they will struggle to draw talent, customers, supporters, corporate sponsors etc.

Since this is a football article I will reference some football info: I remember when I was in High School if you were 200lb you were on the line, ball carriers/ receivers were 125 to 160lb now the QBs are 180-200lb and the line is pushing 300+lb. We never had televised games now, every game is on TV delay or live. The action is fast and hard. The expectations are even greater for coaches and players since every outing could mean college looks.

In all sport players are receiving better instruction at younger ages. The parents are investing much more money in their kids sports now than 20 years ago. As far as softball one of our feeder High Schools has a $500 pay to play for softball and when parents are putting out that kind of money they now feel they have the right to have more say in their kids sport. If they are a booster and are involved more in the school there is even more pressure on coaches and ADs.

Coaching just like managing employees has changed. What was acceptable 20 years ago has faded into the sunset...

 

[coachjwb]

Cards ... good point ... things have changed, coaches need to evolve, etc., and I think this does weaken the 3rd point ... but not the first two points so much. The entitlement issue is real and there's just nothing good about it in my mind. And that entitlement is passed on to the kids from the parents ... too many parents (not saying most, just too many) either preach it to the kids directly or show it by their actions. When they undercut coaches, when they talk bad about them in the home, and when they go over their heads to AD's/principals/organization presidents, kids learn from it.

 

[CoachB25]

I am about to get back into coaching HS Softball. I have been asked to "tone down" my approach since it has been a few years since I coached softball at the HS Level. I have continued to coach other sports at the HS level but resigned softball to watch my dd play in college. She just graduated. I am old school and so, this will be interesting. I've been the HC in 4 HS sports and have never had a losing season in any of those sports. I have coached baseball internationally. I have have always had intense practices. Now, I am to worry about self esteem instead of getting after it. I had always thought that the way I coached taught self esteem because of high expectations and the success. To me, we do it backwards now. JMHO

 

[WalkOffHR]

Ahh...The good ol,days.

I understand the Accountability issue and it goes well beyond youth sports.
However; one thing I take away from the article is some of the Old School references. Folks, its not 1989. The instructional delivery resources, student/parent and school administration expectations are nowhere near what they were 20 years ago. The training styles, physical demands, legal demands are far greater now than 20 years ago. A coach 20 years ago did not have to worry about social media. Now everything is newsworthy once it hits you tube, facebook, snapchat or the OFC.

Sports itself has evolved and will continue to evolve as players get bigger, stronger, faster at earlier and earlier ages. Coaches like employers, managers, business owners, teachers etc. cannot do what they have always done. The climate of our country has changed so much the past 20 years (and it is continuing to change), so much that if one is not innovated in their approach they will struggle to draw talent, customers, supporters, corporate sponsors etc.

Since this is a football article I will reference some football info: I remember when I was in High School if you were 200lb you were on the line, ball carriers/ receivers were 125 to 160lb now the QBs are 180-200lb and the line is pushing 300+lb. We never had televised games now, every game is on TV delay or live. The action is fast and hard. The expectations are even greater for coaches and players since every outing could mean college looks.

In all sport players are receiving better instruction at younger ages. The parents are investing much more money in their kids sports now than 20 years ago. As far as softball one of our feeder High Schools has a $500 pay to play for softball and when parents are putting out that kind of money they now feel they have the right to have more say in their kids sport. If they are a booster and are involved more in the school there is even more pressure on coaches and ADs.

Coaching just like managing employees has changed. What was acceptable 20 years ago has faded into the sunset...

This response save me a LOT of typing. I agree 100%. No sense even comparing today to the 80's when most of us were in HS and college. Social media, cameras and Internet discussion boards like this have redefined amateur sports.

 

[Fairman]

Society has changed and not all of it is for the worse. Welcome to the 21st century.

Respect is not automatically granted by our children but has to be earned (they learned that from us). Mutual respect is now the rule of the land. We have trained our sons and daughters to be critical thinkers, to evaluate and to decide for themselves. The drill sergeants of yesteryear would not be permitted to coach by our laws and the societal norms, their methods would be termed child abuse. Your dd wants to know why and how before she does the task. She's not in the army. She is playing a game with many varied and alternate attractive options open to her.

Those options were opened in 1972 when we passed Title IX to the benefit of all of our dd's. Equalized opportunities for men and women has expanded our dd's horizons tremendously. However most coaches were coached by demanding male martinets, those 'wonderful' old line coaches. It will take another generation to transition from those dark ages. (How many baseball players were told not to lift? How many football players were not allowed to drink water during practices? Do you remember when female BB players were not allowed to play a full court game?)

Clint Hurdle (Pgh Pirates Manager) told Dave Roberts (New Dodgers Manager) that 'the players want to know if they can trust you, if you care about them and if you can make them better.' This attitude is hardly recognizable and certainly is the opposite of the 'Good Ole Days'.

It's time to stop blaming the kids that we coach for our short-comings. The 'good ole' days are dead and gone; thank goodness

 

[kelbot]

In travel ball it's important to communicate your expectations of your players and be upfront about your coaching style before making an offer. Doing so eliminates a lot of the aforementioned undermining.

School ball is a different monster. Your hand is forced for who the coach is. But that coach should tailor their approach differently for each girl. Not coddling, but understanding that it's not one size fits all.

You can be demonstrative and/or demanding without being condescending and/or borderline abusive. Asking for respect without giving it doesn't work. But if you communicate an expectation for how something should be done and it isn't done that way, it's reasonable to let them know and be visibly dissatisfied or disappointed.

One unique thing about softball is that a lot of coaches are male and all the players are female. I understand this is an equal opportunity world we live in now, but it's na?ve to think there aren't some inherent differences in how you coach a girl versus a boy. I can't imagine my HS football coach as a softball coach. There would be a mutiny.

All that being said, I must be in the minority. I enjoy seeing my DD get a well deserved butt chewing. Go get her, coach!

 

[coachjwb]

Again, yes, times have changed and coaching styles of 30 years ago don't work today. But the premise of this article has very little to do with the style of the coach, and much more to do with the lack of respect and support coaches are getting from parents and administrators. I have seen quite a few very good coaches in multiple youth sports with more current and "politically correct" styles get run out of town because of parents who were pissed off their kids weren't playing, or weren't playing where they wanted them, or weren't winning enough to suit them, or who the parents thought they could coach better than, and chicken-s..t administrators who didn't have their back. It is just typical in this day and age that this article has been turned around now to be the coaches' fault ... they are out of touch and haven't "earned the respect" .. this is one of the main reasons there is an issue ... parents are teaching their kids by example that it's always someone else's fault.

 

[yossarian]

parents are teaching their kids by example that it's always someone else's fault.

I couldn't agree more. The question shouldn't be "why aren't you playing my kid more?" It should be "what can my kid do to earn more playing time?"

The helicopter parenting has to stop. If not, we all better learn to speak Chinese fast.

 

[CoachB25]

This is my 29th year of coaching HS sports. I'm the guy I guess most of you fear. To bad I wouldn't be given a chance by you to help your dd discover what she could really become. I had another meeting today and a part of the emphasis was that I need to tone down my approach. We start next week. I thought that perhaps I'd bring a chair, maybe get a bucket of chicken and ask the players to get their work in if they want to.

Ok so that isn't going to happen though I once saw a guy coach that way. I'll have a detailed practice plan in hand. I'll probably be high energy and focused. If the players aren't ready for that then ...

 

[allheart11]

I don't allow my daughter to be disrespectful to any of her coaches and I appreciate a coach who is fair and "tough". These are life lessons here that these girls are learning. I know there are some bad coaches out there. There are people who are not in it for the love of teaching the sport. There also might be a coach that is well respected by other people and you still don't like him. Softball is something that is teaching our daughters how to deal with life. Whether it be a coach, a boss, a roommate, a boyfriend, a teacher, etc.-if the person makes you feel bad about yourself, it's time for a change. If you are working hard and remaining humble and honest, then you have nothing to fear. I am trying to teach my daughter how to be an employable adult. If you can't handle a coach calling you out on lazy behavior and a bad play, then you won't be able to handle a boss calling you out on doing a bad job at work. However, there's a difference in a tough coach who is fair and a coach that has other motivations. Without being a "helicopter" parent it is still our job to teach our daughters how to handle relationships. If you have a bad relationship with your coach and it's hurting your self esteem and career, it's time to speak up and if speaking up doesn't work, it's time to leave. These young ladies need to learn to trust their instincts. When a young woman stops trusting her instincts and listening to others over herself, the door opens for abuse. And not a single one of us wants our dd to be in an abusive relationship. Just my 2 cents. Best luck to you all this season!!

 

[CARDS]

I think what a lot of parents do not understand is todays High School Coaches must adhere to the guidelines/goals set forth by their School District, AD and OHSAA and not always does these guideline/goals align with State, District and Building standards/initiatives... The dysfunction of education... LOL.

A varsity coach can and should be demanding on their players, They can and should set High expectations and standards for the players and program but the accepted "motivational practices" of the past just will not fly in most programs today.
Most ADs are not going to risk their job over a coach that did not follow the guidelines they accepted when taking the position...yes, these contracts are generally year to year and if it is not a good fit on either end you move on.

A good coach can motivate their players without cursing, threatening or intimidating their athletes. These coaches male and female alike dedicate a little more time into becoming a better coach every year.

With that said, we have all seen or know several coaches (some of which at strong programs and that will go unnamed) won their share of varsity contest. However; they did not have the ability to build a program in todays Coaching landscape. Their disconnect with their AD, parents, players and programs became their downfall.

A lot of parents do not know some School Boards have adopted documentation up to 24 pages of a coaches code of conduct that include the development of athletes, compliance, parent/player communication, district communication, program communication, fundraising etc.

This was not around 10-20 years ago.

I know of some good coaches that honestly were poor over all program managers and were dropped from the Varsity level because they did not police their JV or Freshman programs. (Some districts even have the Varsity coach accountable for 7th 8th grade teams).

Larger districts generally have more guidelines than the smaller ones. Urban, Suburban and Rural Districts could and do have different standards.

As far as the entitlement issue;
Yes there are students and parents that feel an entitlement of some type but in my opinion no more than 20 years ago. The difference now, is how these individuals are handled.

One of the bigger areas of concern I feel is accountability.... This issue could be a thread in itself with the changes in todays public education and proposed changes in the future as we talk High School Sports.

 

[FastBat]

The honest truth is, like everything else, a few bad coaches ruined it for the rest of the good softball coaches. That's the difference between now and 25-30 years ago. I am really old, lol, and in my history of playing softball, I can think of many of my life changing, amazingly, great softball coaches. But, in my 12 years of playing, I can also think of a couple very bad coaches. They shouldn't have been coaches, but it's those few that changed the way parents and players viewed coaches. It happens across all sports. It does have a lot to do with accountability, it's not about style of coaching.

 

[travelinmom]

Good vs bad coaching aside. The article is about the lack of respect and discipline. Kids are more disrespectful now than event just 10 years ago. It does start at home and for the kids who don't have high expectations at home, they must have them from coaches and teachers. Society in general has lowered the expectation bar because the stress is too great, it isn't fair, or whatever else we call it. I don't believe any of us over the age of 45 can say we suffer permanent mental health issues because our parents told our coaches to sit us out or our teachers to give us detentions for bad behaviors.
I just read an article last week about how kids are less resilient now than they were 10 years ago. Depression and suicide rates are up for college kids. They found that kids cannot cope with bad grades, have poorer social skills, and are unable to advocate for themselves because they don't know how thanks to over protective parents. A very sad but true assessment of our culture today.
I don't always agree with coaches or teachers but my conversations with my kids over the years have supported the person in charge. On the 2 occasions I felt the adult in charge was a bully or failing miserably in their job, my DD was part of the conversation and resolution; understanding that the outcome would not be changed but she should create the opportunity to be heard. Otherwise, suck it up dear because life isn't fair and it is better to learn how to cope now than being unemployed in 10 years.

 

[CoachB25]

I'd like to give an example without making this too much about me. Tonight, we were told we could only be in the gym for 1 hour since our school is hosting the basketball regional tournament. So, we had to be sharp and get after it. I am a yeller and so we were everywhere yelling all the time. When we finished, one of the teams playing tonight had just entered the gym. Some parents accompanying them must have commented about me yelling within the hearing of the team. One of our girls said to me as we exited the gym, "please don't ever change." For the most part, the kids know. You have to pat them on the back and kick them in the butt. IMO, you have to give 8 positives to any negative since the players seem to internalize criticism so much. You have to let the players know that you care about them not only as a player but away from the field. If you can do that, you will earn respect.