I just want to cry!

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Man, tonight was a major letdown for our team! We were winning after the full third inning and in our league the games are only supposed to go for 1 1/2 hours. After the third complete inning we were over that time limit. The ump would not call the game and let inning 4 go on. At the bottom of the 4th we had 2 outs and bases loaded, my daughter (pitcher) fielded ground a ball and threw it to the catcher to make the play. I have no idea what happened with the catcher, but she basically just froze. The ball hit her glove, fell right on the plate and she just sat there and looked at it for about -- no kidding-- four full seconds and then the runner hit home plate without her even picking up the ball. After that, they scored one more and we lost. This would have been our first win : ( after 3 losses and 5 rainouts - the girls were so excited they were about to burst (and actually thought they had won when the 3rd inning was over and time was supposed to be up). My daughter feels awful because she was the pitcher in the last inning when they lost it (even though she went through the 3rd inning with no runs scored) because she walked several girls.

I know it was not just that one play that lost a game-- it never is. It is just that one play was so just out of left field -- there was absolutely no reason for it to have happened like that-- any of the girls should have been able to make that play with no problem at all. I can't explain it and really have no inclination to ask the catcher about it because she is only 9 and probably feels bad enough as it is- I am not going to make it worse. Plus other girls botched some other plays during the game and others (many of our best batters) struck out swinging at garbage or just watching strikes go by- so she was not the only one who made a mistake. It was just SO HEARTBREAKING it took everything I had not to cry myself because I have put everything I have into coaching these girls this season. Every practice and every game takes me hours to prepare for -finding good, fun, new drills; going over technique and new ways to teach it, running through positions and lineups and tweaking them; fighting to get field time at our school (who gives the boys' teams top priority), reading coaching book after coaching book, watching videos, etc. etc. etc.
It was just such a huge letdown and so disappointing for the girls not to bring what they have in practice into a game. I am so dejected but know that I have to make tomorrow's practice fun to get their spirits back up too. I'm not sure how to do that just yet -- I think they know what they did wrong, so I don't want to make them feel badly, but I feel like I have to review mistakes with them somehow-- or do I? How do I walk that line between giving them constructive criticism while not making them feel even worse than they already do? I tried to keep an upbeat and happy face after the game and told them I was proud of them for being good sports (the other team was not and their coaches weren't either) but they were all on the verge of tears and were probably in tears (like my daughter) on the way home. I know it's just a game but it is still so hard!

 

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Ahhh....the wonderful world of 9 yr old girls. Don't worry Irish, young kids are resilient and they will bounce back.....I promise.

Don't bring up the game to them at the next practice, just keep trying to keep it fun so they continue to enjoy the game while they are learning.

Len

 

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I can hear how upset you are...and I'm glad you are using this forum to get it out of your system before you work with the girls again. I've seen some of your previous posts and I give you bigtime credit for asking for advice and it sounds like you work very hard to give your girls the best instruction you can. You are living proof of how hard it can be to be a good coach. If you didn't care, you wouldn't be so upset.

Your girls are very young, and as you said in some of your older posts...some have zero softball experience before working with you. You've had an uphill climb the whole way and I can completely understand your frustration.

I hope that after a little time and distance from the game mentioned above, that you will be in a better state of mind and able to give the girls strategies for not repeating their mistakes, while keeping things light and fun...these are 9 year olds and don't need the joy of the game s-ucked out of them at such a tender age. They are on the team because they enjoy the game. They want to have fun and want to get better...hope you can continue to help them with both of those goals.

Wishing you the best of luck. I know it's not an easy job and I appreciate all who take it on for our girls.

kjbm

 

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Thanks Lenski and Katjoebenmom-- just your posts have already helped make me feel better!! I knew this was the place to come! Not many other people understand what I put into this and I know you guys do! I have to keep repeating to myself-- they are only 9; they are only 9.

 

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lol...glad to have helped a little.

As I'm sure you already know...at that age they totally take their cues from you. An upbeat attitude and enthusiasm are absurdly contagious. Pass it on.

 

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One of my best kept secrets of coaching is about to be shared with you but I have to warn you, if anyonme else finds out I'll have to hunt you down .lol.

The key thing with the girls you have shared so much about is to make sure no one girl feels like the loss was her fault. At practice, adress the kids asking each one to share something they think they did wrong. You may need to help them remember something. It might be striking out because they took their eye off the ball or missing a throw or dropping a fly ball. After each tells what they did and-----perhaps with your help----explains why it happened, ask the question "Did you do this on purpose?" Of course they'll say "No" and that lets you respond with another question "Did you try as hard as you can?" The answer will be "Yes" which will allow you to respond "Then we're OK with your effort if you promise me you'll remember this and do it the right way the next time. Now, let's all go learn from our mistakes and get ready to be a better team the next time."

Replay some of the situations on the field and instruct everyone the proper way to handle it in the future. As mentioned, the kids will bounce back, most will be able to find something good about their game. Help them put a smile on their face by reminding them at the end of practice they DID have a good game----even in the loss. Support and positive enforcement of their best effort yet will send them home thinking they can be the team to beat in the future. They simply need to come out the like big girls and play hard again.

 

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Here is a fun drill you might want to try. It's very educational for inexperienced players and only takes a couple minutes each day after the girls have warmed up playing catch.

Each pair of girls is a team and they all compete at the same time. The object of the competition is to throw the ball back and forth as many times as they can in, say, 30 seconds. Start with a distance they normally do well at. The girls should learn the following lessons:
- Bad throws will kill your score.
- Tensing up causes problems both physically and mentally.
- Rushing causes problems - especially with throws. They have to catch, transfer, step and throw in sequence. It doesn't work if they try skipping one action or starting one early.
- They'll find their pace where they can execute as quickly as they can without making many mistakes.

These are all important lessons they can apply in the rest of practice and ultimately in games. They should start getting the hang of it about the second or third time through. After that, you can reinforce it by doing it once or twice periodically.

You can vary the distance between them from short tosses (aka quick hands) to longer throws (with additional time). You can also have them work on short underhand tosses and/or groundballs.

 

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Thanks SoCalDad and Daboss- I will try both!

 

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Don't take things too seriously, they are only 9. If you are crying after a loss, they will be crying after a loss. Praise all the good things they did, correct the bad things they did, and try harder the next game. That is all you can do. Right now you are trying to build a solid fundamental base and a love for the game, wins and losses shouldn't matter at that age. Keep it fun!!

 

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Klump...Totally agree with you! Build a base and keep it fun..It will all fall into place! My 12u team played so poorly last Sunday, that my inside voice was screaming "the only good thing I can say about the game, was that it was over!" LOL! Then I realized that this was a good building experience. The girls hated losing like that and worked extra hard at our next practice...

 

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I have to agree with Klump, don't take it so seriously. I have a feeling its your first time through. Many of us who have had kids go through the ages and then start over have the luxury of knowing your girls arent going to remember this game. Half the time I dont even know the score of my 10U rec ball game.