Inappropriate Parent Comments to his own DD

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I was umpiring this weekend and heard a dad that gave his DD a hard time when she made a mistake. He said some swear words to her while she was playing 2nd base. He was the only parent down the 1st base line. I am not sure if anyone else heard other than me and his DD.

Right after that she moved toward 2nd on a line drive and caught it and threw to 1st to double the runner up and I did not hear a peep out of the dad. I ?in turn walked over to her and tapped her on the shoulder and let her know it was a great play.

This was at 12u. This young lady was about to cry when her dad was saying the things he said.

My question to other umpires out there, if I am not sure that anyone heard the dad could I remove him from the game area for swearing out loud?

 

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I think umpires need to buckle down on comments from the sidelines. An opposing teams parents--not the kids--did everything they could do to tear our pitcher down this past weekend -- it didn't work. These parents needed muzzles. I had never been so upset with a group.

I think that Blue should be able to eject any coach or player from the game. The comment should have been addressed.

 

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wow -- i thought you were talking about a 10U team -- saw alot of that this weekend from coaches and parents

 

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I too am hearing way too much of this especially at the younger age groups. I think that our programs need to educate the parents on sideline behavior. One team that I know of wonder why their players are so emotional...... trust me, I got kind of emotional hearing all of these sideline Dads yelling at their girls.
I was talking to another coach this morning about a certain player and the coach says there is no way that he would ever have this girl play for him because of the baggage (Dad) that came with it.
A Mom told me last week that after a player's Dad acted like an idiot to the umpire, the daughter went over to the umpire between innings and apologized for his behavior... and said how embarrassed she was by him.
Parents, listen up.... act like a fool and you will end up looking like one.

 

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I overheard another group of parents talking this weekend about the difference in parents in rec leagues and travel ball. "Rec league parents cheer and say,'Nice try, sweetie!'" no matter what the situation. Travel ball parents understand that their daughter isn't trying, won't tolerate mistakes and will get on them for it."


After a while, why would the girls want to play? I do agree that the programs should offer or make mandatory some kind of parent sideline education class. Throw in a few words about positive reinforcement while you're at it!

 

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I believe some tournament and sanctioning body rules prevent foul language. Umpires should have a right and a duty to control the game and eject players and coaches that violate this rule. Unfortunately foul language has become part of our culture and I hear young kids who think nothing of it when they swear. You gotta wonder where they get it from, home, school TV,......

 

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Are you joking bucks4vr? The worst displays are at rec ball games. The younger they are the worse it is. 8U coach pitch, boy and girls, is by far the worst for over the top parents. The kids are fine, It's the parents that get out of control.

 

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This weekend I got to catchup with some coaching friends in Columbus. One of our common comments was the poor attitude and behavior of players, and frustration with parents. Many of us have been coaching for many years, and have to say it has become a problem. Personally I thought this year I would be free of conflicts since my 12u team was a first year team with "all new to TB" players. I could not have been more wrong.
I find myself being more of a parental figure then a coach in the dugout with attitudes and disrespectful behavior towards other players, coaches and umpires. Actually had a 12 yr player tell an umpire he didn't know how to make a call this year, talk about embarrassment. Worst part was, when she was pulled from the game, the parent was not pleased and couldn't believe her dd would do such a thing and thought the coaches were in the wrong.
(that was just one ex. from the season)
Sad part is I hear from many teachers that it is no better in school enviroments as well.

 

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I agree with "TheRinger". ?You get the worst behavior from rec leagues. ?You see very few games that go by where everyone is happy. ?

The loosing teams parents are usually the mouthy ones. ?We had a group this weekend that complained because the girls were saying "hey batter". ?Blue just shook his head. ?How about make the parents wear muzzles and make the girls wear mouth pieces so they can't talk.

I agree with cheers as long as they are positive and directed toward their own team. ?I would allow the "Hey batter" as well.

 

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Memo to coaches(dads): ?Stop getting so frustrated. ?It isn?t about you. ?YOU aren?t 41-6. ?YOUR TEAM is. ?Lighten up. ?Other than a hand full of you, most of your talent is obtained in the off-season with individual work and private lessons. ?By the way, my DD does not respond well to that type of coaching. ?She just learns to tune you out.

The kids won?t remember in 10 years how many wins they had but they will remember how you acted and how you treated them.

 

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A friend of mine recently started Umping, after his first tournament I asked how it went and he said....The younger the age group the worse the parents are. Thats kind of sad.

 

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Coaches coach, players play and parents cheer. Period, end of discussion. I save my comments until after the game.

99% of the time they know they made a mistake and yelling at them will only take away their focus and there goes another error. How would a grown adult feel if those comments were made to them yet they think nothing about abusing a child.

 

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A friend of mine recently started Umping, after his first tournament I asked how it went and he said....The younger the age group the worse the parents are. Thats kind of sad.

For UJ and fastpitch11........

 

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AS an umpire you should called time out immediately and removed who ever was swearing off the the field notified the uic and tournament director.As an umpire you need to take charge! The kids dont need to hear this type of language and can be under unsportsman like,

 

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Rec ball for DD has become a nightmare! She's in her second year of travel ball and probably her last year of rec ball. She's 12u.

My dream organization in 8u to 12u teaches all the girls fundamentals and how to play all the positions. Before each game the girls pull their positions and batting order from a hat. Let the girls trade positions if they want. Halfway through the game time limit they re-draw for positions and again trade positions if they want. Wonder if this would work?

 

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This is such a basic issue ?that you would think it wouldn't need to be discussed. ?The ONLY role of parents at the game is the unconditional support of dd and the team.

Do some parents think becoming angry and vocal will encourage players to do better? ?Do they think the girls are making mistakes or not playing as well as they could/should on purpose?

Every one of these girls knows and feels badly enough when they make errors or don't get a hit, and the LAST thing they need is a parent pointing these things out and humiliating them. >

Sorry for the rant, but obviously, this is something I've seen wayyyy too often. :'(

Anyway---getting back to the question in the original post---we probably have to wait for Bretman to weigh in on whether umps can toss a verbally abusive parent. ?I don't know, since we've been told the ump should tune out what's being said on the sidelines.

 

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Lets say we are in a school environment, a place where kids learn. Would a school official allow a parent to come into class and rant, rave, and swear when a kid misses a question? Not in our school.

Would you allow a teacher to rant, rave, and swear at the students? I don't think so.

At the 8U thru 12U groups, coaches are still mainly teachers. They have to have a great deal of patience. However, they cannot coddle the girls or they will not learn and move to the next level. Parents also have to have great patience. They need to understand that just one inappropriate comment can demolish a week's worth of work. So, if you have a good coach, the parents should not critique DDs performance, the coach has already done that. The parent should ask the coach about what DD can work on (sound familiar?, just like when DD is having problems with school work).

The hardest part a coach or parent has is trying to figure out just what motivational technique will work on an individual and on a group. What works for one girl might not work for another. When we figure that out, let me know. I do know that yelling, swearing, and carrying on like a fool does not work.

 

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WV

I agree with you; however,

coach is a teacher does not stop at U12.

As a high school teacher, I do not teach the same way my sis-in-law teaches first grade, yet we both use the same techniques and methods to take our students to the "next level."

I for one have the utmost respect for my coach, he was one of my best teachers. Not only did he teach me the skills I needed on the field (and the court) but valuable life and living skills. I am forever grateful to him, and will always love him like another father.

I still look to him for advice, even as an "old lady" ;D

 

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Thanks Johnnies...

I'm having flash backs of th WWF.

It's a wonder that I acctually thought that stuff was real back then. : :'(