Inappropriate Parent Comments

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This past weekend, my pitcher DD was brought in in relief and we were down by 5 or 6 at the time. One dad on the bench said, "We might as well pack our stuff and go home now." I didn't hear it or know about it until the next day and this particular individual has similar things to say about every girl on the team. We are new to this and I'm wondering 1) is this the norm? and 2) is it worth confronting an individual such as this? This is U10.

 

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Shallow minds have a tendacy to say shallow things. Do you honestly think he would give much consideration to your concerns, if he can sit in front of 10 year olds and cut them down.
Tell the head coach to get this idiot out of the dugout, or your looking for a new team, ASAP!!!

 

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I too have been amazed at some of the comments that parents make during games. Everything from heckling the umpires, loudly second guessing the coaching decisions, to even cussing at their daughters! Come on people, this is not only disrespectful to the players, but it makes your team look very bad. What's the old saying? "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all!" I'll go one further, if you can't stop from embarrassing yourself, your daughter, and your team, STAY HOME!!

 

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If you are not sure if this is normal you must be new to organized sports in general. I have seen it a lot over the years but we are new to travel too. There tend to be some idiots out there, unfortunately. I really don't think it is worth confronting him especially if you plan to stay with the organization and will be seeing him around next year. If he says negative things about all the girls then obviously he a perfect child and needs her to be on the team all by herself. You might want to mention it to the coach and let him know that you don't appreciate him talking about the girls that way and ask him to speak with him. If the girs were to hear him it could be devastating to her self esteem. We encountered something similiar this year with the mom who keeps score for us. My daughter (11) overheard her telling her daughter that everyone did good except my daughter-she said this in the dugout with my daughter 2 feet away. She cried about it for a while on our way home before she finally told me what was wrong. First instinct was (defense mom) to reem her a new one. But I figured that really wasn't the adult way to handle it. I did mention it to the coach and few other parents I talk with and have since just avoided this mom as much as possible. I am sure that nothing was said to her by our coach but enough people know that I am upset about it that I am sure it got back to her. Now if I were to hear something like this was said in front of my daughter again I am not sure that I could keep my cool. I would probably end up leaving with a restraining order (lol) after I got done screaming at her ;D.

 

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A good manager will fully appreciate that a true ?team? cannot condone such comments.
Talk to the manager in a private and professional manner, and give the manager a reasonable time to address the issue (also in a private, professional manner).

If the negative comments continue (about any team member), it is time to get your kid with another manager ? one who has the intestinal fortitude to do the right thing ? and squash all negative comments.

 

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I have personaly spoke to quite a few parents that have expressed this kind of comments this year. I just cannot belive it. I personaly would not stand for it as a coach or as a parent. My DD has not been the target of such comments. That I know of. These are kids out there bustin there rear ends. There is no player out there trying to fail. They know when they screw up. They just need to be taught the right way. By the coach, not a parent of another player. It really makes me mad to hear of this type of stuff.

 

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We are definitely new to travel sports. This particular Dad voiced his opinion eariler in the season, but nothing like that. He yelled at his daughter often, though not really in front of too many people, because he thought she played better mad. He apprently thought he could say whatever he wanted to on the last weekend.

One of my problems is that parents like that really hurt the kids and their desire to play. I guess there's no real way to know what you're getting when you sign up for the team. Too bad we can't have parent tryouts also!

 

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My concern is if the parents are open with their comments at the field, what are they saying at home. These comments are heard by their children and only undermine the team!

 

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I also have sat at many games and listened to inappropriate comments by parents and it really bothers me. To sit there and say a player on their DD team sucks is just wrong. I also have heard parents loudly second guessing coaching decisions and that bothers me too. I guess its like being an armchair quarterback..its not as easy as it looks. But by in large the worst group in general are grandparents. They have no idea that the player they are criticizing has a parent sitting next to them..nor do they seem to care. I agree with crunchtime...if you can't say something nice then don't say anything at all. And another thing ...if you as a parent are always negative ...what message does that send to your DD? let alone the rest of the team? JMHO

 

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I have to say that I have seen and heard a lot of things this summer that have made me sick thinking about it. There are actually parents that I know who will not sit with team parents because they are so sick of what they hear.

There was a photographer at one of our games once, and he told me that of all the sports that he photographs, girls softball is the worst when it comes to the parents.

 

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I totally agree parents are the worst, they take the fun out of it. They second guess you all the time. I coached travel for three years now and I really think I am done because of the parents. Where ever my daughter may chose to go I will support it and sit and watch. My job will be to take her to pitching and hitting. Parents rarely thank the coach if at all, but they sure talk about the coaches when a game was lost. Personally my time did really well. parents do not realize the paperwork that is also involved and more hours are spent with travel team than else where.

Taking the personal feeling about this subject away, I have heard some nasty comments from the opposing teams parents. We were at a tournament in Shady Side, Ohio this year and played a team whose parent was off the hook.

 

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lol bucks I love it parent tryouts!!
All coaches I'm sure have had parents like this , fortunatly they usually don't stick around long, they are always looking for greener grass or a team that never loses.
Coaches job is a thankless job at times, I've been very fortunate my parents are great, very supportive and complement the coaching staff often.
Your always going to have parents comment on your coaching decisions, but if you really think about it when your not coaching and your at a sporting event don't you do it too? We all do.
It's funny when it works your the greatest when it doesn't they could of or would of done it differently. Wouldn't we all if we already knew the outcome?

 

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Buck4vr---sorry to see that this is such a common topic on the website today.

There are idiot parents on just about every team, some more vocal than others.

I'm not sure there is anything that can be done, other than ostracizing that parent.

The only other thing that could possibly be done would be to stage some sort of intervention, and this would have to be done with the entire rest of the parents assisting. ?Maybe having the parents and the coach, as a group, confront this loud-mouth before a game, and insist that he not say anything unless it's positive.

Of course, this could just as easily backfire and cause an escalation in hostilities. :-/

 

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our team and we have one "Mrs Softball" parent who paces back and forth like a expecting father throughout game critcizing aloud to anyone player who dares makes a mistake and now it's spreading to the coach. ?In her eyes her dd is the best (not) infact everyone on the team can improve. her DD is so embarrass to where the girls feel sorry for her. ?When a parent openly critcizes other DD's, you open the door for the parents to do the same, but we have more dignity. ?and it really takes a toll on their own daughter. ?lighten up, IT"S SOFTBALL.