Making Mistakes

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From Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.

Too often, kids think they shouldn't make any mistakes in youth sports. In fact, up to 75% of the kids we work with are hard on themselves after a loss or mistakeWhen they think they shouldn't fail, they avoid making mistakes-which is a real mental game no-no.
If kids play to avoid making mistakes or to avoid failure, they stop taking risks. They play tentatively. They second-guess themselves, rather than just "going for it." And when they avoid failure, stop taking risks and second-guess themselves, they don't perform well. They get stuck and don't learn.
So what should sports parents do? The trick is to teach young athletes that making mistakes really does benefit them. In fact, they really learn and grow when they make mistakes or fail-if they embrace the right mindset.
Kids need to understand that failure is part of the game. How many golfers win the tournament? Only one our of 144! How many tennis players win a tournament? Only one!
Athletes who respond to adversity in a healthy way and see setbacks as a means to grow rather than a reason to lose confidence and motivation will learn faster and become more successful. That's in part because they feel confident taking risks. To help athletes embrace a positive mindset about setbacks, they need to first identify the types of mindsets that can hurt them. Often, kids feel frustrated, angry, try too hard, lose confidence or give up altogether after setbacks.

Next, help kids understand that making mistakes is part of sports and part of being human. They need to accept this fact. In addition, young athletes should learn how to process their setbacks so they don't dwell on them. It's critical to learn how to move on.

After a setback or mistake, kids need to cool down, think about what they did well, and think about what they could learn from their setback. What could they do differently next time? It's also a great idea to read about athletes who have overcome adversity.

 

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We have always pointed out that making a mistake is OK as long as the player does not hurt themselves or someone else.

I point out who do you think taught you how to walk? All your parents did was move the coffee table to make the area safer for you to practice as you taught yourself how to walk.

One of my kids parents was just deployed to the middle east and we were talking about how hard she was being on herself about her swing. We pointed out that what he does for a living can cause loss of life or serious injury. Softball is just a game and usually it is the parents that take it too seriously verses the player.

We point out if you make a bad play, you have no control over it as you can not go back in time and change it. However you do have control over how you react to it!

At a NFCA convention Dr. Ken Raseva (not sure of the spelling) had a miniature toilet. He said when you make a mistake you need to let it go and then he pushed the handle down on the toilet and it makes an electronic sound like an actual toilet flushing. He restated you need to learn how to let it go! He went on to point out if you make an error on the field and do not let it go you probably will not have a good at bat either because you are still thinking about it.

I have said for many years that softball and baseball is a game played by kids, However it is orchastrated and run by adults and adults do not like to loose to kids or other adults!

This is why I enjoyed the book, The Talent Code. When you break the task down to the little details in slow motion your body remembers the moves faster. When a student makes a mistake we start the move over. We have mirrors so they can see it, feel it and fix it. You know when they stop and restart that they are starting to get it. Sometimes I do not start the motion to soft toss until they realize they are not in the correct position. All the yelling and screaming has never worked for me so I just do not do it.

I like to point out to the girls the swing or throwing has a sequence just like when they put on make up. Foundation, blush, eye color, eye linear and lipstick last. If the swing or throwing is taught as a process the task seems to be learned faster has worked well for me in my opinion.

Howard

 

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Well said gents. I am going to send both these posts to a pitcher I work with who is a perfectionist and very empathetic. She constantly worries about making mistakes in the pitching circle and how it might affect her team. When she is in practice session her motion is exactly what I want and what it should be, but when she enters a game she quickly slides back to her old form if she has any failure with the new correct form. People will always lapse back into there old patterns when they are put under a stressful situation. It is human nature I believe. The old pattern is familiar and comfortable so very easy to get there unless the person is very stubborn and determined about staying true to the mechanics that are correct. The Talent Code is a excellent book, I also really enjoyed "Creative Coaching" by Jerry Lynch.