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From Lisa Cohn and Patrick Cohn, Ph.D.
Too often, kids think they shouldn't make any mistakes in youth sports. In fact, up to 75% of the kids we work with are hard on themselves after a loss or mistakeWhen they think they shouldn't fail, they avoid making mistakes-which is a real mental game no-no.
If kids play to avoid making mistakes or to avoid failure, they stop taking risks. They play tentatively. They second-guess themselves, rather than just "going for it." And when they avoid failure, stop taking risks and second-guess themselves, they don't perform well. They get stuck and don't learn.
So what should sports parents do? The trick is to teach young athletes that making mistakes really does benefit them. In fact, they really learn and grow when they make mistakes or fail-if they embrace the right mindset.
Kids need to understand that failure is part of the game. How many golfers win the tournament? Only one our of 144! How many tennis players win a tournament? Only one!
Athletes who respond to adversity in a healthy way and see setbacks as a means to grow rather than a reason to lose confidence and motivation will learn faster and become more successful. That's in part because they feel confident taking risks. To help athletes embrace a positive mindset about setbacks, they need to first identify the types of mindsets that can hurt them. Often, kids feel frustrated, angry, try too hard, lose confidence or give up altogether after setbacks.
Next, help kids understand that making mistakes is part of sports and part of being human. They need to accept this fact. In addition, young athletes should learn how to process their setbacks so they don't dwell on them. It's critical to learn how to move on.
After a setback or mistake, kids need to cool down, think about what they did well, and think about what they could learn from their setback. What could they do differently next time? It's also a great idea to read about athletes who have overcome adversity.
Too often, kids think they shouldn't make any mistakes in youth sports. In fact, up to 75% of the kids we work with are hard on themselves after a loss or mistakeWhen they think they shouldn't fail, they avoid making mistakes-which is a real mental game no-no.
If kids play to avoid making mistakes or to avoid failure, they stop taking risks. They play tentatively. They second-guess themselves, rather than just "going for it." And when they avoid failure, stop taking risks and second-guess themselves, they don't perform well. They get stuck and don't learn.
So what should sports parents do? The trick is to teach young athletes that making mistakes really does benefit them. In fact, they really learn and grow when they make mistakes or fail-if they embrace the right mindset.
Kids need to understand that failure is part of the game. How many golfers win the tournament? Only one our of 144! How many tennis players win a tournament? Only one!
Athletes who respond to adversity in a healthy way and see setbacks as a means to grow rather than a reason to lose confidence and motivation will learn faster and become more successful. That's in part because they feel confident taking risks. To help athletes embrace a positive mindset about setbacks, they need to first identify the types of mindsets that can hurt them. Often, kids feel frustrated, angry, try too hard, lose confidence or give up altogether after setbacks.
Next, help kids understand that making mistakes is part of sports and part of being human. They need to accept this fact. In addition, young athletes should learn how to process their setbacks so they don't dwell on them. It's critical to learn how to move on.
After a setback or mistake, kids need to cool down, think about what they did well, and think about what they could learn from their setback. What could they do differently next time? It's also a great idea to read about athletes who have overcome adversity.