Need help.....this is getting old...fast

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Ok what is up with coaches not being honest after a tryout. Here is my situation. My 11 yo has played fastpitch for 2 years now. It is her favorite thing in the world so we talked to her about taking some private/semi-private lessons this winter to strengthen her skills then looking into travel ball next year. She is not a terrible player but I also know that she needs work. Well we were convinced by others-including some coaches to let her try out for some travel teams. Even though it was against my better judgement we have gone and done so. Only to be rejected over and over again-which is not surprising to me but here is my big problem. Out of these 4 teams none of the coaches have answered me when I have asked what specifically my daughter needs to improve on (to be fair to the last team she hasn't had enough time to get back to me-but I hope that she will). I either get blown off with no response or I get the run around of she is young and small or something like that. I don't want answers that they think will keep me a happy camper-I want honesty!! I just want to know how they would rate her skills. I want to know HONESTLY if she works hard this winter if she has the ability to make a team next year-which was our original plan-I want to know if they think that maybe she just isn't cut out for travel ball at all. Not everybody is and I know that but how do I find out if she is one of those girls. I am tired of the good luck and try again speech. Ok-if she is going to have a shot next year we need to know what she needs to improve on. DOes she have anything to work with or is she just not even close....Is there any coach near the Youngstown area that would be willing to take a look at her and tell me honestly what they think is holding her back. Even if it means that you think she has no talent at all. Then at least I can stop taking her and wasting everybody's time!

 

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Re: Need help.....

Hi there. ?I have a couple questions to ask you. ? Please do not take these the wrong way. ?
From what I have read, you did not think your daughter should have gone to those try-outs. ?You were not surprised she was rejected. ? What level of skill do you see your daughter possesses? ?While at the try-outs, what area did you see your daughter not doing as well as some of the others? ?If you did not think your daughter was travel ball ready, what areas do YOU think she needs to work on to better her game. ?For instance, ny daughter COULD NOT run! ?I wanted to ring her neck everytime she jogged to first base! ?> ?So we worked on that! ? She is not setting any records but.....she is getting there faster. ?Are there things that are visable to you? ?
Be proactive, you saw what was out there at try-outs. ?I believe you know where to begin the work. ?
-Carolyn

 

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No problem-not taken wrong.
-I believe you know where to begin the work-But if I knew why would I be asking?As a parent we are not good judges. She appeared to do about the same as more than half the girls there. I know that her batting isn't strong but neither was anyone else I saw (with the exception of a few). The reason I took her is that I was told by others that I should do so-including some of her coaches. With that I assumed that they saw something that I didn't. I am not a coach and I do not know what they are looking for.....that is why I am asking for someone to look at her and tell me her weaknesses. Is that asking too much?!

 

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Not at all. I see nothing wrong with asking for an opinion of someone that might be more knowledgeable on a subject. But let me tell you, I have sat on the sidelines of a lot of games wondering "just what does that coach see in that girl!". Different coaches like different things. One might work on his offense while another is bound and determined to give all of his attention to defense. Seeing that I am a new coach to the travel world, I am looking for determination and a will to learn! I want a girl that "wants it!"
This is JMHO.

 

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Okay after reading a few of your posts if I may add some items for you... Also please do not take the wrong way (just questions)

1- At the tryouts, does she do whatever they ask or tell her with a smile and just go? (Attitude, Hustle, needs to come from within)
2- A ball that gets by her, does she turn around and watch it thinking go ahead give me another, or tear after it anyway?
3- On the individual skill exercises, does she aggressively go after the fly balls or throws to her or is she timid? Hard to guess as no one on this forum was there.
4- Is the child small in stature and will never hit with power? if so, if she has some speed, switch her now to the left side and learn to slap bunt and she will become more valuable. Her average will go down the first year of doing this, but in the end it's worrth it.

But what I may also tell you is I believe you may be near the Thunderplex up there and they could offer an evaluation and lessons I am sure that she could in fact work on. I hear what you are saying with notifications after tryouts, but believe me, with 60 plus upwards of 100 girls, a coach cannot give an explanation of why one doesn't make it. We even had video camera at ours for our town and even that was hard to figure final selections. But a coach should at a minimum, have the courtesy to at least get back to one via email or a call unless they fully state "if you do not hear by XYZ date you didn't make it" and just move on.

Down here around Columbus they have a "Travel League" that plays around the towns ?double headers two nights a week to get the girls on the edge of full blown travel ball, that extra experience to see. That along with one or two tournaments sometimes gives them the insight of what they need to do to step up to the next level. so you may look for one like that up there.

These are just some thoughts, that I hope help you with your frustration, but again to the topic of the coaches explaining why is not a realistic result of a tryout if there are allot of girls.

 

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I understand that different coaches want different things but when you get two coaches that let you know that they aren't going to offer your daughter a postion and give you reasons that don't even make sense then what should I think. That they don't want to be honest with me and that my kids stinks to high heaven, that they are being honest that they wish they could take my daughter but....Maybe they are being honest with me and that is her downfall but I just can't see turning a kid away because of lack of size (not that she is tiny for 11-just average) and lack of experience-that she can't get without an opportunity-I won't go into specifics on here. My daughter IMHO has the basics she can hit the ball-not kill it (but she did screw this up at a couple tryouts because she was doing something new-trying too hard-and messed up her stance and swing-majorly, she can stop almost anything that comes behind the plate-but she isn't big and intimidating, she is a quick runner-she can't slide (she has never been taught-yet), but she doesn't have the fast hard throwdown to 2nd. Her throwdowns to 3rd and 1st are nice but she needs work on the throws to 2nd. That is what I see with her-a lot of potential with a coach who wants a girl who wants to play more than most.....Those are the things that I see but that was a lot of girls at most of these tryouts. So I want someone to tell me if I am missing other things and maybe she just isn't cut out for this. I plan on getting her work on her hitting and her throwdowns but what I want to know is there more that she needs work on? Something that as mom I am missing?

 

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okay, you are answering allot of your own questions here. You are probably going to tryouts of teams that truly want high caliber girls. Yes even at younger ages there are those teams. Desire and want to play is one thing, but teams looking for high caliber players want girls they do not have to teach basics to. (sliding is a basic) but I haven't been to one tryout yet that asks them to slide. Average size is good, my youngest is small for her age, but does catch. It takes allot of work to do it and the throw down is key for any team. My oldest was cut at 7th grade for being too small, but went on through high school and received a college offer, so no matter how good or bad yours may be, if she loves the game, pay for the lessons, start in a smaller travel circuit if your town offers one and work up to the better teams if possible. It can be done....Try not to dwell on the negative and seek out advice as you are doing.

Good Luck.

 

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Thank you. The tryouts we went to are the only ones available in our area-everything else is more than an hour away and with school and work and winter roads that just isn't safely possible all winter long.

 

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As someone who has had to make several hundred of those calls, I try to have a list of areas that need some work for every girl (or parent thereof) that I talk to. Usually it's not really one major thing, but a culmination of minor things ones; or at times, being skilled in the wrong position (i.e. an excellent first baseman, but the team already has 3 and really needs a SS). The hard ones are when you're cutting a girl, not for her lack of skill or attitude, but because of the parents - try talking your way through that one...:

Couple of things I've found out over the years:

Believe it or not, I found out early on that "too young" can be a reason (not one I'm particularly fond of), particularly for an older team that is planning on moving up together the year after. True story: When my DD was 10 she tried out for a 12U travel team (there were no 10U teams around at the time). About 5 days later I get a call from the organization telling me my DD had scored in the top 5, was in the top 2 for hitting, and would have made the team, but.... they didn't want to take a spot away from a girl that was in her last year of 12U eligibility. Not an easy thing to explain to a 10 year old.

Size - it matters and it doesn't. A bigger kid will tend to get noticed faster, and draw more attention, than a smaller one (it's human nature). It's important to be seen doing the right things when noticed, however.

Your batting average for last year's team doesn't mean much, if anything, at tryouts unless the coach has seen you in action or knows the person that kept the stats. Like it or not, the coach has to go with what they can see - if your mechanics are flawed (possibly due to trying something new), and/or you can't seem to make contact, that's what the coach is going to evaluate you on. Same goes for fielding and throwing.

12U is a hard group to make as an 11 year old unless you are maturing at a faster rate than your peers. Can have the same problem at 14U as a 13 year old, particularly at P, C and SS/3B where one year's added strength and agility is really noticable.

Some girls come into their own later than others. Had a girl try out for me three years in a row; cut her every year because her hitting and throwing skills just weren't good enough. (She was a good kid, and really tried to do what I asked, but just couldn't put it together.) Saw her at try outs this year (at a younger age group than I'm coaching) and couldn't believe it was the same girl - suddenly here's a girl who had power, couldn't miss a pitch at the highest tryout speed for her age group, and could throw a runner out from her knees or while coming up from a diving catch.

Attitude counts as much as skill. I try to not only to watch the girls when they're "up" for their turn at the station, but also to watch them when they're waiting, how they interact with other girls at the tryout, how they to their parents or to friends, arriving, and when they're leaving (you'd be surprised at what you'll hear as they're heading for the car sometimes). Sometimes I'll mention another way of doing something or make a small correction just to see if they'll give it a try the next time through.

 

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My dd played 14u at 11 because shes a hitter work on hitting this winter if she can hit they can find a defensive spot for her dont give up this is a hard sport to play at an elite level.

 

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Just to throw in a curve.
could it be a parent problem?
we as coaches look at the parents as well as the kids.
If we get the inside scoop that the parent is over bearing we may not pick that child.
Even if she is able to play.
Sad but true.

 

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Just do not give up! Keep pushing your child not to ever give up her dream of playing. Encourage her as much as possible. I always tell my kids to give 110% in everything they do in life. That is all anyone can ask for.
We were pretty concerned that our daughter would be rejected by all the Teams. That that might hurt her self esteam. Well, we were wrong! When she didnt get the call on the first one she just shruged and said I didnt want on that team anyways. She didnt like the Coach & the girls were too "girly". ;D (Yea, shes a BIT of a tom-boy.)
It only made her driven to do better, as she did at the second tryout & got picked up.
As far as Coaches looking at parents being too over-bearing. I had to laugh. Do you know what it is like to "be" the coach for 7 years and suddenly be sitting on the bench watching? It is no easy task. But it can be done with respect to the "other" Coach taking over your player. Respect is the key. Then there is restraint. I hope I can remain calm! Haha!

 

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Brandallee3........
sent ya a PM.

 

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Just to throw in a curve.
could it be a parent problem?
we as coaches look at the parents as well as the kids.
If we get the inside scoop that the parent is over bearing we may not pick that child.
Even if she is able to play.
Sad but true.

No not a parent problem. I stay back and don't say a word. I introduced myself to a couple of coaches and mentioned vacations during tryouts but that is about it. Definitely not overbearing-this is her thing and I let her handle it herself.

 

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I did get some feedback from a wonderful coach that she met up with this past weekend. And she is willing to give her some pointers at her practice-now that is a coach who I respect! We will have something to work with and go from there for next year! Thanks!

Good to hear. Good luck!