Great subject. Comes down to the type of coaching you think you are looking for. In every case you have to be able to buy in to that coach and support the team, that includes supporting the coaches and occasionally agreeing to disagree and have some patience. More often than not it can be the parents themselves that determine an experience for their kids and the team. I have been on teams that the parents completely destroyed any chance of the coaches being successful for their girls and on teams that had less talent maybe, but had a strong core of parents that kept the coaches energized by supporting them and buying in. Parents have to see that coaches are always learning also, especially at the early ages.
I think many miss some important details in softball and life. You have to learn how to follow before you can learn how to lead. No one falls out of bed one day and becomes a fully knowledgeably coach, a great many experiences have to happen to get there and you have to check your ego and open up your mind/eyes/ears and learn how to be taught to be able to teach.
I strongly believe that leaders/teachers/coaches have it in them from day one or they do not, but that can be shaped into something pretty special with the right approach and life experiences. Noone gets "there" by themselves, we all need help along the way and some luck.
Does not really matter if your a non parent, parent, ex player, played, never played, whatever? God given talent to play does not translate into being a leader or mentor, but if a natural leader is very good at what they teach, then that can be a game changer for sure.
I have two positive, but different, examples that have shaped me as a coach and my daughter as a player.
Non player - Howard Kobata. Howard is great at teaching the game in a very demanding way, yet if you spend any time with him, he cares about the girls and pushes them. His attention to details about the faster aspects of softball and not settling for "good enough" on the field as far as footwork and mechanics, shows in his passion to teach it.
Ex-player - Micaela Minner. Micaela has played D1 and professionally. While its obvious she can play, her calling is as a teacher and more importantly a mentor to her students. There are some things that I as a male, non player, coach can never give my players that ex players and women that Micaela can. The girls can see themselves in coaches like Micaela, if they are able to communicate/mentor them effectively. Without a doubt Micaela has influenced my daughter more than anyone else, she just gets her and her hitting has improved a ton as well as that confidence and swagger that Micaela brings in her passion for the game.
There are a great many more that I have learned from, both good and bad, parent/non-parent. I learned something from every coach i have worked with or watched and continue to try and add knowledge. Ever since we started at 10u with the Outlaws and Warren was one of the coaches, as our head coach left early on, I still use things I learned from Warren and that experience today. I'll continue to evolve as a coach, just as the players evolve on the field. Who knows if I'll end up being a non parent coach, but the fact that I am currently a parent coach does not factor in to my ability to try and develop each player I get the privilege to coach. My DD is a very strong willed kid and makes it easy for me to coach her and a team with her on it and I have zero issues letting our current coaches take her to task if need be, we do a good job of letting each other handle our kids and always do whats best for the team.
Parents need to stop trying to find a perfect fit and become a positive part of the entire process that will lead you way beyond this season. Surround your self with good, talented people, doing things for the right reasons, and success will follow.
My 2 cents.