Over-Coaching?

[Marie Sheva]

Hi all,
My daughter is strong pitcher and great intuitive athlete on the field in nearly every position. She is 12 and it is her first year playing travel. She had only played rec and middle school prior. We just started with a travel team that promised us the moon to get her to join. There are a couple of key things they did not deliver on and clearly have no intention of delivering on. But the worst part is her game is actually declining and she is unhappy. The coaches correct EVERYTHING, every minute of practice and during scrimmages. We have our first tournament in a couple of weeks. She was once a fiery, intuitive natural on the field and now she is hesitating on every play, afraid of the criticism that might follow. She is not hitting the ball anymore. They coach the girls while up at bat the entire time. She has gotten so much coaching on her "stance" in such a short period of time that she can't get out of her head when she gets up to bat to make contact. Again, this was absolutely not the case before this team. I noticed it the other day with all the girls in the field before my daughter ever said anything to me about how she felt. It's like they're all deers caught in the headlights, afraid to make a play. I will add that there are 3 coaches and 10 girls, plus another head coach who shows up sporadically to tell them "they suck." We probably won't get our $1500 back if leave, but I'm wondering what alternative their is. It's clear that parental feedback is not welcome and I get that. But she is their strongest pitcher. Should we try to talk with the coaches? I read that this kind of over-coaching can really impede their development as a player and have long-term consequences.

 

[BHaines]

Read your post back to yourself and look at it from the perspective of a random person reading it for the first time. What would your feedback be to them, based on the words you read? I think you know what to do and probably posted just to confirm your gut reaction. Trust your instincts. It sounds like a nightmare.
Pitchers are highly sought after right now. Reach out to some other organizations in your area and see if you can attend a practice or workout. Be up front with the coaches about your expectations and encourage them to be up front with you. Let them know you are looking for the best fit for your daughter. Refrain from bashing the organization or coaches you are currently associated with; it's not necessary. Most people in the travel community have a pretty good idea why players are looking at new teams in September-November. Usually it's because their first team committment ended up not being a good fit.

Don't let others guilt you into staying with a team because you need to "teach your daughter about committment." Or that she needs to be "mentally tougher" and take the critisism. She's 12. It's your job as the parent to advocate for her. Instead, teach your daughter that we all make mistakes and misjudge situations, and it's ok to correct those mistakes in the moment. We should all be teaching our girls that their mental health is just as important, if not moreso important, than their physical health. It makes me sad that these girls are "afraid to make a play." That's usually a precursor to being burnt out and quitting at age 14.

Ultimately, you probably already know the right answer to this situation. Best of luck to you and your daughter. I hope you find a situation where she can continue to enjoy the sport of softball and learn and grow as a player and person.

 

[Marie Sheva]

Read your post back to yourself and look at it from the perspective of a random person reading it for the first time. What would your feedback be to them, based on the words you read? I think you know what to do and probably posted just to confirm your gut reaction. Trust your instincts. It sounds like a nightmare.
Pitchers are highly sought after right now. Reach out to some other organizations in your area and see if you can attend a practice or workout. Be up front with the coaches about your expectations and encourage them to be up front with you. Let them know you are looking for the best fit for your daughter. Refrain from bashing the organization or coaches you are currently associated with; it's not necessary. Most people in the travel community have a pretty good idea why players are looking at new teams in September-November. Usually it's because their first team committment ended up not being a good fit.

Don't let others guilt you into staying with a team because you need to "teach your daughter about committment." Or that she needs to be "mentally tougher" and take the critisism. She's 12. It's your job as the parent to advocate for her. Instead, teach your daughter that we all make mistakes and misjudge situations, and it's ok to correct those mistakes in the moment. We should all be teaching our girls that their mental health is just as important, if not moreso important, than their physical health. It makes me sad that these girls are "afraid to make a play." That's usually a precursor to being burnt out and quitting at age 14.

Ultimately, you probably already know the right answer to this situation. Best of luck to you and your daughter. I hope you find a situation where she can continue to enjoy the sport of softball and learn and grow as a player and person.

Thank you! This was a great response and you are totally right. I do know the answer already.

 

[Stedman00]

first off- sorry to hear that you + DD were sold a bill of goods and empty promises. It happens more and more with the volume of teams that seem to appear almost daily. I don't know where you are located, but near Cincinnati, new teams are everywhere.

That 'over coaching' at the plate is all over as well. And it is just magnified with the spreading of the wristbands and coaches feeling the need to yell numbers before every pitch. As a player, you cannot have 27 thoughts going thru your head about swing, stance, pitch coming, coach said this, etc, etc, etc. And if your coaches don't know this..... the door's over there. Besides, up or down by 4, 3rd inning, 2-0 count, what difference does it make if coach yelled 621 or 549 or 123??? See your pitch, hit it hard.

Honestly, the time for coaching at the plate is at PRACTICE or lessons. player gets to the plate in game, it's time to be positive, maybe remind them to relax and hit the ball hard. They have enough going on in their heads to not focus on everything goober at 3B is screaming at them. Time coming quickly where they will be expected to know the game situation and when to try and hit behind runners, hit that sac fly if warranted, etc. WITHOUT coaching before every pitch.

Literally, unless there's special play, encourage, try and get them to relax at plate, and smash the ball. that's already 3 thoughts and might be too many already.