Parent Burn Out/Softball Fatigue

[default]

I need some input from other old timers. My dd has been playing travel for 6 years, 4 on the same team. Pitched varsity this year b4 travel started. I find my patience wearing thin. Plus the extreme heat is frying my brain. And I guess I'm just plain tired. Any advice out there?

 

[default]

Six years... The time you have left is short then. As for the heat, a good hat combined with ice cold rags works wonders.

 

[default]

From what I've thread your gonna miss it bad once its over! My dd is only 12, going into the 8th grade . I know when her final game as a senior finishes, ill be a mess . I love watching her mature into the young lady she's becoming. I say try to enjoy the time you have. Seems like it flys by.

 

[default]

We'll adopt her for you to give you a break ours are done and it flew by...... TB is long and drawn out playing year round, hang in there!

 

[default]

Grab a lawn chair, go to the games with a cooler of diet coke and fruit. Sit down the right field line - formerly known as the "goon squad" by old time Stingray Alumni - and watch the games and snicker while watching the other young teams parents as they live and die with every pitch and at bat. As has been stated above, relax and enjoy. Don't take it too seriously, it will be over way too soon.

 

[default]

Also think about what you and your daughter might be doing if not softball. Would she be out with her friends and you at home doing yard work. Something like that? Point being is right now you are doing something together. Are you closer because of it? Focus on that instead of the heat and sun block with all the dirt that sticks to it. The crappy hot dogs or hamburgers with mystery meat. Living out of a suitcase and getting up before dawn to sit out with the bugs while the team warms up. The long drives with gas bills and the thousands spent on hotels. Don't think about that stuff. ha

And why am I always so dead tired after a weekend of just sitting around watching softball?

 

[default]

Grap a chair with a hood on it and get a big cooler fill with water and fruit and enjoy the games.

 

[default]

wow, and i thought i was the only one.

so here goes...i was in with softball for 6 years of travel and 7 years of school ball. I was done with travel this last year at 18's. just ask cgs about my attitude! anyways, that permeated into high school ball and i quickly was done with that. i even had our varsity coach tell me that i just don't like any coaches. seriously? yeah, thats wy we stayed with the same organization in travel, yeah, i really hate coaches
but i think it goes with perspective too. my DD has always been the utility player on her teams. she's competitive but lives her life. she's going to college to play ball and i couldn't be much prouder of her faith in God and her attitude in general. i am very thankful for the people i have met along the way. do i miss it? not really. i'm glad to get a break at least until my 4 year old decides to play ball in about 5 long years.
i noticed this last year that when the game was over, my wife and i were always the first to the parking lot. i was like, why is everyone standing around? the game is over, let's go. perhaps this had something to do with my 2 little ones. i know alot of softball parents had older kids so perhaps softball was their a life.
will i miss packing a cooler? or losing games to D1 elite players who make diving catches look like effortless stretches? will i miss douche-bag dad/coaches who posture by the brackets? will i miss port a pukes or ratty hotels? or waiting for a pool game to determine my seeding when all i wanted was to sit down in a hotel room? no, i wont miss it all.

 

[default]

Statman Ray-
Dude, take a well deserved break. Sounds like burnout to me, kind of like that senior in high school in April, or that 64 year old guy at work...But a 4 year old at home? You'll be back in it, hook, line, sinker. Just keep your options open. There is hockey, lakrosse, sokker, competitive cheer, dance, show choir, AAU Basketball, Tennis, Piano, Tae-Kwon-Do, Fencing, you name it...Just give that kid that devotion you are so good at giving and you'll be fine.

 

[default]

My youngest dd has two tournaments left in her TB career.

Her older sister started some 14 years ago and both pitched (22 years if you include their older brother). I have caught a zillion pitches thrown by both of my daughters and spent hours and hours in basements, gyms and on the great open fields together. We have been frozen, baked, blown and snowed on. We have been on great teams and lousy teams with some great coaches and some awful ones. We have been on teams with great parents/kids and some not so much. I have managed to spend countless hours cooped up in a car heading to some cow pasture for an 8 o'clock game and then slipping into bed after midnight to tired to shower. We have slept on the ground and in 4 star hotels. We have eaten a thousand hotdogs and one great apple dumpling in the middle of Ohio farm country.

I have paid the price in sore hands, stove fingers, bruised and battered shins. The financial cost along with the time commitment has been tremendous. I am a much better dad because of it and my two kids are much better adults.

Will I miss it? Absolutely. We have only 10 - 12 games left. She'll pitch 4 or 5 more times and then its off to college. That will be a very short 4 years but I'll be outside of the fence looking in. (as it should be) Who will catch her three times a week in the off season, who will make her breakfast in the mornings before a game..... She'll more than manage... Me, I am looking to adopt a 12 year old left handed pitcher.

 

[default]

Great post fairman ... one of the best I have ever read here ... despite the burn out at the end of every summer, went through the same process with my DD several years back and missed it like crazy ... she and I are now back coaching together and at least getting some of it back in our lives ... but its not quite the same when its not your own kid playing ...

 

[default]

We have one year of HS left, and because she's a December baby, one year of 18U. I am more than a little tired of it right now, but in 3 weeks I will be wondering what to do on the weekends!!!!!!!!!

 

[default]

wow, and i thought i was the only one.

so here goes...i was in with softball for 6 years of travel and 7 years of school ball. I was done with travel this last year at 18's. just ask cgs about my attitude! anyways, that permeated into high school ball and i quickly was done with that. i even had our varsity coach tell me that i just don't like any coaches. seriously? yeah, thats wy we stayed with the same organization in travel, yeah, i really hate coaches
but i think it goes with perspective too. my DD has always been the utility player on her teams. she's competitive but lives her life. she's going to college to play ball and i couldn't be much prouder of her faith in God and her attitude in general. i am very thankful for the people i have met along the way. do i miss it? not really. i'm glad to get a break at least until my 4 year old decides to play ball in about 5 long years.
i noticed this last year that when the game was over, my wife and i were always the first to the parking lot. i was like, why is everyone standing around? the game is over, let's go. perhaps this had something to do with my 2 little ones. i know alot of softball parents had older kids so perhaps softball was their a life.
will i miss packing a cooler? or losing games to D1 elite players who make diving catches look like effortless stretches? will i miss douche-bag dad/coaches who posture by the brackets? will i miss port a pukes or ratty hotels? or waiting for a pool game to determine my seeding when all i wanted was to sit down in a hotel room? no, i wont miss it all.

I'm with ya! You won't miss it because you have a life. Many other things to fill the void of softball.
I'm on my youngest daughter who is 16. When she is done I won't miss it. It means the wife and I can travel and it won't be to places like Montgomery AL. York PA, Akron OH or Bowling Green KY. We will be skiing, snowmobiling, golfing and site seeing. Can't wait! Love my daughters but YEAH when they are on their own! ha

 

[default]

Thanks everyone for the great posts! It's Monday and I feel better already. Gonna miss a game tonight and go out with my Hubby. I know in 3 weeks I will be missing it all over again. I chalk this week-end up to the sun scrambling my brain! It was a hot one for sure!!!!!

 

[default]

Great answers by everyone and I have to agree with those suggesting you take a weekend off. Let another team family or your spouce take over for a weekend and you stay home. Your mental health is important. Nobody will think you are being a bad parent for taking 1 weekend off. Have a talk with your daughter, explain the situation, and ask her which weekend she would be more comfortable not having you around. She'll feel better knowing you thought enough to talk with her about it and you can relax a few days.

You ARE a good parent. We can tell by your involvment on OFC. Take care of yourself for a few days and it'll recharge the batteries to help you thru the rest of this season.

 

[default]

Funny.
We are coming off an off weekend all 3 DDs were off. And every parent I called or talked to that was playing this weekend was jealous of my wife and I sitting pool side just hanging out with family and relaxing.

My wife coaches so we live, eat, and sleep softball. But when we have shutdowns.............we do not even pick up the balls and mitts. The rule is no softball on off weeks. No talking about it and absolutely no playing...............LOL..........of course the girls went to the cages 2 times and played catch.........and then invented some game with a blow up beach ball, and stick and some random scoring system that I could not grasp.

My oldest got called to pick up on 2 teams but we refused.........she was ****ed but she needs down time. The long weekends are hard on them in ways they do not understand.

I really think 3 on 1 off is the best system. I think 4 weekends in a row causes mental burn out.

 

[default]

I don't think most kids need the down time during the season. Some parents might but you can't have one mold for all. Tiger Woods didn't need "down time" from golf when he was a kid. I wouldn't force down time on a kid unless they showed signs of needing it. If they are happy, healthy and having fun why not?

 

[default]

I need some input from other old timers. My dd has been playing travel for 6 years, 4 on the same team. Pitched varsity this year b4 travel started. I find my patience wearing thin. Plus the extreme heat is frying my brain. And I guess I'm just plain tired. Any advice out there?

I would guess that your HS team didn't have much success (or DD didn't play much) and/or your summer team is struggling (or DD not playing much). If the teams were winning, then you are suffering from something but I'm not quite sure it's softball. May want to make a trip to the Doc, because watching good softball and winning cures all my ills!!!

But if your DD is fine then you need to keep your negative self at home and take a break from it all!!!

 

[default]

I would guess that your HS team didn't have much success (or DD didn't play much) and/or your summer team is struggling (or DD not playing much). If the teams were winning, then you are suffering from something but I'm not quite sure it's softball. May want to make a trip to the Doc, because watching good softball and winning cures all my ills!!!

But if your DD is fine then you need to keep your negative self at home and take a break from it all!!!

Wow!!!! Harsh

 

[default]

I understand the burn out, my dd is only 13 and I cannot wait for the season to end. It's not her team and coaches, it's the other parents, everyone is living a pipe dream thinking their child is the best and they are going to get a full ride scholarship to a d1 college. Seriously???? I think a reliy check needs to happen to some parents before they burn out their daughters. Some parents have said this is their ticket to college, their daughter can't hit the ball out of the infield!!!
I do take the cooler packed with water and sit in the outfield or down the rt field line, but then the coaches want everyone sitting together and I look like the bad guy. I hate the gossip and the drama and it is truely on every team. My daughter has played with some top organization teams and it is everywhere we go. I don't have time in my life for it. Not to mention I have a 12 year old son in travel and more kids in rec ball. At this time of the year I am burnt out.
My husband on the other hand who coached for 15 years, has decided to take the opposite approach and make money off of it, he umpires every tournament he can , makes great money. gets to see the talent out there and the no so talent out there, listen to the coaches whine and the first class coaches act as so.
I just think people have to remember it is a game and if your daugher wants to drive hard Great but let her make that choice.