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How do i provide a link to this thread on my team website?
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We were the opposite of that poem. I didnt think, early on, she had what it took. Until she proved me wrong...
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Ice,
Go to the first page, Highlight the address bar, right click, click copy, go to your site and hit paste when you see where you want to paste it at.
I think that's what you're trying to do.
Go to the first page, Highlight the address bar, right click, click copy, go to your site and hit paste when you see where you want to paste it at.
I think that's what you're trying to do.
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thnx hilliard--- best discussion in a long time
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As a parent, if you yell at your DD for mistakes she makes in softball, you are probably a parent that also yells at your DD for getting her shoes muddy, dropping a bag of groceries, not doing her chores, getting a bad grade on her report card... etc. etc. Conversely, if you give your DD "false praise", you probably do that for her in everything - not just softball.
How parents react to negative things in sports is a real reflection of their true character. The problem is most neglect looking far enough forward to see the damage that can be done - and the missed opportunity.
I'm hoping all of the dads on here got the experience of changing their DD's diaper. Admittedly, that's not necessarily a pleasant experience, BUT it is a necessary part of being a parent. Did you yell at your infant DD because she soiled her diaper? Now move forward to "potty training". Did you yell at her when she had an "accident"? What did you do? Hopefully, you understood the big picture, took it in stride - and gave her some gentle understanding guidance!
The parent that believes that mistakes are a NECESSARY part of any learning experience will be a LOT more successful raising their DD. Get excited in a POSITIVE way the next time your DD "goofs up" - because it gives you a chance to teach her something! It also gives HER an opportunity to explain her viewpoint - so be a great listener!
How parents react to negative things in sports is a real reflection of their true character. The problem is most neglect looking far enough forward to see the damage that can be done - and the missed opportunity.
I'm hoping all of the dads on here got the experience of changing their DD's diaper. Admittedly, that's not necessarily a pleasant experience, BUT it is a necessary part of being a parent. Did you yell at your infant DD because she soiled her diaper? Now move forward to "potty training". Did you yell at her when she had an "accident"? What did you do? Hopefully, you understood the big picture, took it in stride - and gave her some gentle understanding guidance!
The parent that believes that mistakes are a NECESSARY part of any learning experience will be a LOT more successful raising their DD. Get excited in a POSITIVE way the next time your DD "goofs up" - because it gives you a chance to teach her something! It also gives HER an opportunity to explain her viewpoint - so be a great listener!
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Softball is really an avenue to teach your dd about life. The work it takes to be successful, the perseverance it takes---not giving up after a let down, a mistake, or defeat. Great post sammy. There are a lot of quotes (in books, websites, etc.) that hit on your point, and many more that touch on things brought up in this thread.
I think the most important thing is just to be a good listener/observer, and use what your daughter is saying/doing to plan your course with her. A course that hopefully "sees the big picture" and has a goal of making her a better person/adult first, and a better ball player second.
For me many times the coach/player relationship dominates and replaces the father/daughter one...at the dinner table, restaurant, in the car, watching TV........ and when i'm smart enough to catch it, I try to correct it because it doesn't help. 500 ground balls or swings can be followed up with a little something from dad to daughter (an enjoyable talk or icecream!!).
changing her diaper a few years back puts it all in perspective.
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I think the most important thing is just to be a good listener/observer, and use what your daughter is saying/doing to plan your course with her. A course that hopefully "sees the big picture" and has a goal of making her a better person/adult first, and a better ball player second.
For me many times the coach/player relationship dominates and replaces the father/daughter one...at the dinner table, restaurant, in the car, watching TV........ and when i'm smart enough to catch it, I try to correct it because it doesn't help. 500 ground balls or swings can be followed up with a little something from dad to daughter (an enjoyable talk or icecream!!).
changing her diaper a few years back puts it all in perspective.
D
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We are big on the ice cream aspect after a work out lol, when my middle DD wanted to tryout this past summer for a travel team, despite never having played anything but coach pitch and really being a year to young IMO, we decided to practice for about 3 or 4 weeks before tryouts, I put on a few pounds hitting Handel's after each practice session lol, we had a good time. Personally I have to be careful and I am working on it, but I think I talk softball to much to my girls lol, I need to get back to playing golf so I am a little more balanced. We are all an unfinished product and we have to continue to get better. I will say one thing I learned right away, every one of your kids are different, my oldest is patient, could always take coaching from me or her mom. My middle DD is cocky, obsessive, ultra competitive with everything...you know typical middle child stuff.. and despite having a successful older sister who is 9 years older and willing to help her with her slap hitting, fielding etc. she has ZERO desire to hear what her older sister has to say about softball. So with each kid you have to adjust your coaching style hahaha.
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Reading through that poem, I am going to have to admit that I was that way when my DD was just starting out at 8 years old. I remember looking at her face and realizing what an a** I was being. When I just sat back and started to enjoy the nice weather and meeting great people every weekend, she began to enjoy herself and improving. Thank Gosh I stopped that the next year. She is now in 16u and beginning her high school career and I am loking forward to another great summer sitting back relaxing.
Just live in the moment...there aren't that many left.
Just live in the moment...there aren't that many left.
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Positive re enforcement goes a long way. Being constantly critical of her skills gets one no where. While catching a new pitcher of ten years old in the back yard without a backstop, a smile on your face isnt easy, but necessary. I have never understood where the parents anger comes from. It`s not easy to do what we are asking them to do, and when they mess up, it is not like they do it on purpose. My only frustration came from a lack of effort, and that only occurred once, ever. The major difference between a decent player and an accomplished player is what goes on between the ears. That is where the real training comes into play. Big difference between a player who hopes they can do this and a player who knows they can do this. However if the parents do not understand this, then the kid may not either. Fear of failure can be a motivator if taught the right way. My point is, most great athletes think differently than the others because they are taught differently from little on.
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Punchout, you sort of hit on a good point. Don't want to sidetrack here too much, but at least it's something for parents to think about.
At the highest levels of fastpitch, there is not that much difference in physical ability from player to player. However, from day to day, there IS a HUGE difference in their mental world and visualization skills. I listened to a speaker describe Olympic athletes as being the most highly trained athletes in the world. A "clutch" hitter has the unique ability to visualize (and BELIEVE) the result they desire. They already have reached the pinnacle of physical fitness and skill training - now it's all mental. Why do the greatest baseball pitchers in the world get rocked on some nights? Why are they not "on"? They don't seem to have their "good stuff". How could that be? They have trained an unbelievable number of hours in their craft, and tonight they can't throw a decent slider?
Because it's between the ears. It's confidence about KNOWING you can "do what you do - and do it well". When pitchers start "thinking" and hitters start "thinking", doubt creeps in. The mental preparation is equally important as the physical training.
Enter mom & dad yelling at their DD about all the "mistakes" she made. What a confidence destroyer. Sometimes it is a lot more productive to simply point out the good things your DD is doing, then be a good listener. The LAST people she wants (or needs) getting down on her is mom & dad!
At the highest levels of fastpitch, there is not that much difference in physical ability from player to player. However, from day to day, there IS a HUGE difference in their mental world and visualization skills. I listened to a speaker describe Olympic athletes as being the most highly trained athletes in the world. A "clutch" hitter has the unique ability to visualize (and BELIEVE) the result they desire. They already have reached the pinnacle of physical fitness and skill training - now it's all mental. Why do the greatest baseball pitchers in the world get rocked on some nights? Why are they not "on"? They don't seem to have their "good stuff". How could that be? They have trained an unbelievable number of hours in their craft, and tonight they can't throw a decent slider?
Because it's between the ears. It's confidence about KNOWING you can "do what you do - and do it well". When pitchers start "thinking" and hitters start "thinking", doubt creeps in. The mental preparation is equally important as the physical training.
Enter mom & dad yelling at their DD about all the "mistakes" she made. What a confidence destroyer. Sometimes it is a lot more productive to simply point out the good things your DD is doing, then be a good listener. The LAST people she wants (or needs) getting down on her is mom & dad!
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think i will chime in first off all parents remember these are your daughters for life the same that will help take care of you when you are old.i to started out being much harder on dd than anyone else.it has taken me a couple years to work on not pushing my competivness on to them.but believe i have it down while coaching she gets same treatment as every one else and once we leave dad not coach has worked pretty well.then 24 hours later while we are practicing will bring up something new to work on something i seen the day before etc.we must all remember if they play college ball they will be in minority of fastpitch players if they ever make money at it will be very small posibility.my wifes grandfather told me one time how his sisters kids were always great at this or that.one was going to grow up and be a super athlete another an amazing artist the other maybe president and so on.then he paused and said i will be da#$ed if they didn t all turn out to be ordinary people like me and you lol.chances are when done our kids will turn out to be ordinary people like us so take this time to spend quality time with them and for me now older dd found boys and mom gets most those talks the little pitching and batting sessions are my chance to leave an impression with her and surely dont want her to see me dissapointed in her just enjoy it
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Great advice for me as a father coaching a select schedule with a school team...while I am very hard on my dd, I am also my her biggest fan. I will keep these comments in mind going forward.
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I can honestly say that there were times when I was that parent. I was always harder on my kid than I was on any other tho.
Now that my dd has decided that she no longer wants to play, this is what I learned:
Not one second of work, one dollar spent, or every weekend of every summer for the last five years has been a waste. Softball helped to shape the person that she is today. Actually I give travel ball most of the credit. I'm not that good of a dad.
-She's a (pretty much) straight A student who wants to go to medical school.
-She knows how to compete the right way. She understands how to handle disappointment, and how to win with dignity.
-She has seen friends go down the wrong path and tries to set them straight instead of following them. She definitely knows right from wrong.
-She made lifelong friendships with tons of great kids.
I'm very proud of her. She's a good kid, and she learned something from every coach along the way. I'm glad she played travel ball.
And I made a lot of friends along the way too.
Now that my dd has decided that she no longer wants to play, this is what I learned:
Not one second of work, one dollar spent, or every weekend of every summer for the last five years has been a waste. Softball helped to shape the person that she is today. Actually I give travel ball most of the credit. I'm not that good of a dad.
-She's a (pretty much) straight A student who wants to go to medical school.
-She knows how to compete the right way. She understands how to handle disappointment, and how to win with dignity.
-She has seen friends go down the wrong path and tries to set them straight instead of following them. She definitely knows right from wrong.
-She made lifelong friendships with tons of great kids.
I'm very proud of her. She's a good kid, and she learned something from every coach along the way. I'm glad she played travel ball.
And I made a lot of friends along the way too.
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That's awesome WG! that's what it's about in the end...
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