The lesson the child just learned? The Drama of Youth Sports today!!!

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Parents, Coaches,
I think this is good information for all of us to think about once in awhile.

Not every situation is a ?major? event. There seems to be a trend of hanging on every word a 10 year old says. There seems to be a sensitivity to every action of our athletes and coaches. Children will say no I am not excited about going to practice? once in awhile. That doesn?t mean that there is anything major going on that needs to be investigated.

We seem to be leaning toward doing something if it isn?t quite right, today. A child talks her Mom/Dad into signing up for an 10 week season, makes one comment in the 4th week that she doesn?t like going anymore and the parent feels compelled to act, sometimes allowing the child to quit. The lesson the child just learned?

A coach or teacher who comes to a parent and mentions that little Suzie didn?t have a real good practice doesn?t mean that something major is going on. It is natural for an athlete or student to have a bad day once in awhile. No sweat, just natural. Now if she has gone 3 weeks with the same not so good behavior, then we need to take a look. The process of learning includes good days and bad. Days when something is learned and days when nothing is learned. The process of learning in youth sports includes striking out, falling off beam and missing a hurdle. All natural when dealing with children.

Maybe we all need to ?chill? a little bit more. A skinned knee doesn?t mean a 911 call. A bad competition doesn?t mean the coach has ?lost? their ability to coach. An umpire blowing a call at second base doesn?t mean that they have it in for your team. These are natural happenings. Minor, not major.

A child becomes a prepared, well adjusted young adult by experiencing about 2 million (my estimate) situations as they grow. There are very few ?major? situations within those 2 million. They are all small steps that we experience, learn from and then move on. If we get overly sensitive to every step in the development of your child/athlete we will go crazy. The stress level will be unbearable. We will be looking over the shoulder of everyone who spends 5 minutes with our precious, easily broken child.

I believe that most children are very resilient with a strong shell. I also believe that it is possible to make that shell thinner and thinner if the adults in their lives treat every situation as a ?major? event. The kids are watching us. They are learning how we, as adults, handle the every day situations that arise. One math test in 7th grade isn?t going to affect their potential for a college scholarship. Making an out happens more often in a softball game than getting a hit.

Raising a child is about an 18 year adventure. A series of small, learning events and activities that will shape your child. Enjoy the ride rather than stressing so much about every step. The coaches and teachers helping your family will do a much better job if they don?t have a group of stressed out parents watching every minute of every practice. The less drama we have in the incredible world of youth sports the better. Less stress helps make a great learning ?lab? for the development of our kids and athletes. Less stress makes it more fun for the adults too. ?Enjoy the ride.?
 
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Those are words of widsom. Hovering parents (we have all been guilty at some point) do so for multiple reasons. Vicarious living, over-protectiveness, con-trolling personalities, etc.
At 10u, however, I can see it being rampant because these "kids are just little kids; they just play some pretty competitive ball".
:eek: You think softball at 10 years is bad- check out competitive cheer, gymnastics, or tennis.:)
 
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And then there are the ones at the other extreme..... One mistake and you'd have thought they threw their whole "career" away! There are the extreme that go nuts on their kids to the extreme the rest of us cannot watch the game. Add thereapy and meds to the cost of travel ball!~!:eek:
 
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Great post Superpro. Some great things there for both the coach and dad in me!
 
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How about the parent that stands behind the backdrop when his or her DD is pitching and coaches her out loud.... (way too loud) how to do it. And when she walks a batter for forbid, the world stops turning. Saw that this weekend at a tourney. I laughed at first but after 3 innings of this idiot I had to walk away. Felt bad for his DD, who was struggling because of him.
 
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Nice post - makes you stop and think - and think again. Need to paste this in dugouts, parents chairs, coaches bags, score books - everywhere.
 
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Great post...

We shouldn't make a big deal of every situation as an adult but to 10 year old that little situation may be a big deal.

Biggest gift we can give to a child is letting them know we have their back but there is a consequence to every action and reassuring them we are there to listen to their issues.

Unfortunately there are kids who are suffering from inside and let's not ignore those little signals until its too late...hug them and let them know it will be ok. Look for signs of struggles.

No big deal of having one bad day in school but hopefully does not lead to bad quarter.

My oldest recently told me I was hard on her when she was little and she didn't like that and turned her off of sports, I told to go and ask a child who doesn't have a parent support if they would trade her situation with my DD and this shut her up.

No regrets...no wish I had done this or that...
 
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It's really hard to be a good parent, and there's nothing more impactful that we can do in most of our lives. Above all else, it's most important that we are always there to listen to them and help and advise them where we can. Agree though that sometimes the best help we can give them is to help them through a tough situation as best as they can vs. escaping from it. And we parents can't live our lives or kick ourselves with regrets about the mistakes we made as parents ... God knows that we probably made them every day because there dozens of opportunities each day to do this. The important thing is that we love our children and that we tried our best, and that we learned from those mistakes.
 

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