The 'Volunteer' (i.e.: Dad) Coach

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I also feel a coach should should be look at his position like he is the boss. He should delegate reaponsiblities when he needs to. Surrounding himself with those able to complete those jobs. he should also teach the girls to be versatile in every position. Granted everyone can't play those positions due to skill set, but they should know every position. A batter should bat thinking like a pitcher. "what would I throw in this situation" kind of thinking. Thinking like a catcher, if I steal does she have the confidence to pick me off. Etc. A coach should make the girls the best all around players possible which in turn wins games and opens up possibilities for their future. (typed on my phone, sorry for spelling errors I really am smarter than it looks.)

 

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A coach's main priorities should be for players?:

1. Safety: There is no way to prevent players from getting hurt because there are inherent dangers in playing softball. That said, coaches can prevent a lot of needless injuries caused by carelessness, improper technique and overuse.

2. Positive experience: This is necessary to keep them playing year after year. Make sure they feel like a valued member of the team and are accomplishing something.

3. Development: It is an extremely difficult game to master. Coaches need to provide a lot of instruction and encouragement. They also need to plan practices that are productive and efficient.

Couldnt agree more with these!! Only takes one bad year to end up watching a girl who loves it walk away.....Feeling like a contributing factor makes all the difference in the world IMHO I watched my own dd struggle with this this year after a change to the left side and back to the right midseason. Atleast she has this winter to find her confidence again!

 

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Many times the hesitation of playing for a "Dad" coach is the fear that the Dad will be easier on their own child or give their own child a position they may not deserve. However, I have seen the complete opposite situation a few times in the last few years that I have coached. A few "Dads" have been much harder on their own child, they are quick to get on their own child when mistakes are made but hesitate to correct other players.

2 Things Happen:
Your child feels singled out and will be upset with you.
(Not to mention Mom is probably not going to be happy with Dad for being harder on your little girl & when your little girl sheds a tear the other girls will label you as the mean Dad....I am referring to 10u they may cry a little bit when they disappoint Dad)

Other players will notice and feel like you do not have the same expectations for them that you have for your own child. You want every girl to know you have high expectations of them, that gives them confidence in themselves and builds trust between coach & player.

Everyone appreciates the Dads that give up their time to help their children and others. As a coach I don't know what I would do without the Dads who help me out, but I expect them to treat their daughter the same as the other players.

It can't be easy to be in that position as a Coach & a Dad but make sure you can handle it before you volunteer to coach, your daughter will love you the same if you decided to stay in the stands and cheer them on.

JMHO

 

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In reading some recent threads, it seems that 'Dear Old Dad' has gotten a bad rap in the coaching realm. Now I admit that former players and/or coaches with experience at Varsity or College levels bring an extra element of wisdom to a team. However, I think it's a tragedy to discount ALL the Dad's out there who volunteer their time to coach our DD's. After all, those "qualified" coaches had to start somewhere.

So, I'd like to open a new thread to identify the qualities that the OFC community deem important in a Coach. My hope is that it will serve as a blueprint for those who desire to grow in their coaching ability, and serve as a reminder for those already entrusted with our DD's.

Well I have coached my daughters teams for years (8 to be precise )... And she cant WAIT till I Dont ...lol. Thats just a slight exaggeration though , I dont cut her Any extra slack , she is another piece of the team I coach. I play to WIN ... and place girls where they best help the Team. I will no hesitate to correct any player we have If its gonna help them. There IS NO OTHER WAY. Its All i know.
Other parents have always been glad to have me helping their players become better ( They tell me and its appreciated) . I Played Baseball and softball for 25 + Years ( 50 to 100 games a year) You accumulate a little knowledge over the long haul. I have worked with a few guys that equally bring stuff to the table to help these Young Ladies become Ball Players. By the way... I will be so glad to step down , just haven't had to right circumstances yet. Soon though ...very soon.

 

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Many times the hesitation of playing for a "Dad" coach is the fear that the Dad will be easier on their own child or give their own child a position they may not deserve. However, I have seen the complete opposite situation a few times in the last few years that I have coached. A few "Dads" have been much harder on their own child, they are quick to get on their own child when mistakes are made but hesitate to correct other players.
JMHO

OK I have seen this.... and I hate to say it out loud , but here we Go. There are times , when A DAD/Coach Doesn't correct "Other Players"... because I fear ...they DONT WANT THOSE PLAYERS to be as good or Better than THEIR Daughter. I have looked at this situation and in these cases I speak of (NOT ALL Cases) I cant help but believe it.
IF your a DAD and WANNA Be an Assistant Coach and are QUALIFIED to instruct these kids ... Then You need to COACH them ALL , not just DD... If you`re Catching in the Guy working out the OFers hitting Flyballs , I shouldn't see you glancing in to see you DD taking Grounders at 2B the whole time. Or her Dragging and Slapping... Do your Job as a Coach. Dad can happen again when were done. And dont ignore your Kid ... encourage ( and encourage all please) And advise as needed. Believe it or not and especially at 15 and up... she will learn MORE from OTHER Coaches. You are DAD to her. mine learns more from others I already see that.

 

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OK I have seen this.... and I hate to say it out loud , but here we Go. There are times , when A DAD/Coach Doesn't correct "Other Players"... because I fear ...they DONT WANT THOSE PLAYERS to be as good or Better than THEIR Daughter. I have looked at this situation and in these cases I speak of (NOT ALL Cases) I cant help but believe it.
IF your a DAD and WANNA Be an Assistant Coach and are QUALIFIED to instruct these kids ... Then You need to COACH them ALL , not just DD... If you`re Catching in the Guy working out the OFers hitting Flyballs , I shouldn't see you glancing in to see you DD taking Grounders at 2B the whole time. Or her Dragging and Slapping... Do your Job as a Coach. Dad can happen again when were done. And dont ignore your Kid ... encourage ( and encourage all please) And advise as needed. Believe it or not and especially at 15 and up... she will learn MORE from OTHER Coaches. You are DAD to her. mine learns more from others I already see that.

Great advice. As a coach today, I hope to grow with the game (and my DD), but there will come a day when I will have to let go. I pray I will do it in such a way as to respect the game and my DD (& family).

 

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My DD's coach has a dd on the team but she does a great job of treating everyone on the team the same. Including her own DD. There are definitely no "mommy goggles" here. She has done such a great job that she has loads of girls calling her wanting to be a part of our team. We couldn't be happier with our "Mommy Coach".

 

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Wow, good stuff all! I am my daughters biggest fan, but I love all 12 girls like they are my daughter...I get more wound up/excited when I see one of our 14u girls think and do the right thing instead of having to be told...that pumps me up more than wins/losses/stats!!

 

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This argument can really go both ways. Just because you were an all-star in high school and played softball in college doesn't automatically make you a "trained professional" or mean you will be a great coach. I have taken my daughter (9 yrs old) to former college players for hitting/pitching lessons who didn't have the patience or couldn't explain to her level. I understood what she was saying but my daughter just looked at her like she was teaching her Physics 101.

It takes a special person to be a good coach, teaching, patience, understanding each lady's skill level, listening to each girl, respecting them, treating them fairly, and the list could go on and on.

Just because you might know more about the game than someone else doesn't automatically make you a better coach. JMHO

 

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OK I have seen this.... and I hate to say it out loud , but here we Go. There are times , when A DAD/Coach Doesn't correct "Other Players"... because I fear ...they DONT WANT THOSE PLAYERS to be as good or Better than THEIR Daughter. I have looked at this situation and in these cases I speak of (NOT ALL Cases) I cant help but believe it.
IF your a DAD and WANNA Be an Assistant Coach and are QUALIFIED to instruct these kids ... Then You need to COACH them ALL , not just DD... If you`re Catching in the Guy working out the OFers hitting Flyballs , I shouldn't see you glancing in to see you DD taking Grounders at 2B the whole time. Or her Dragging and Slapping... Do your Job as a Coach. Dad can happen again when were done. And dont ignore your Kid ... encourage ( and encourage all please) And advise as needed. Believe it or not and especially at 15 and up... she will learn MORE from OTHER Coaches. You are DAD to her. mine learns more from others I already see that.

Or in our case, instead of correcting mistakes the coach created mistakes to make his dd look better. Did this with at least three girls, all of which had their hitting go downhill fast. Needless to say, the season ended ugly, and everyone was glad it was overwith.

 

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Back to the original "what are the qualities of a good "mom/dad coach".

The qualities that I feel are needed after (just knowing softball and how to coach it) is:

1. How to deal with girls - especially teenagers.
2. Teach them about life as well - how to deal/treat others, how to lose/win, safety issues that girls will face, how to make good choices in life, etc.
3. When to say that you've taught them all you can and encourage them to move on.

Number 3 is what I have done this year. I want to give my DD the best opportunities to improve her level of play, so she is trying out this year and hopefully makes a good team.

 

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I do not coach, but I love watching my daughter play softball. She played for a very well respected team this year that did not do as well as expected. She did not play the position that she wanted to, but started every game and performed well above the teams record. Coaches daughters played where she thought she should be. When she asked me what I thought she had to do to play that certain position, I responded, "Be hands down the absolute best at that position so their can be no question as to where you play."
She never was given a chance to play that position even though we spent all our free time practicing. IMO this was Daddy Ball at it's ugliest. She won't play for that organization again, but she will play travel ball somewhere. I do have a feeling that the coach of that team will have this catch up with him in a year or so because good organizations tend to not excuse poor performance for very long.